Page 82 of Returning Your Love
“Clifford?” Mom prompted him to continue, and he heaved a heavy sigh.
“I am sorry, Charles.” He finally met my gaze, the regret and pain in his eyes unexpected, hurtful, and healing all at the same time. “For speaking when I ought to have kept quiet. For not using my words to build you up rather than tear you down.”
Unable to swallow or find my voice, I nodded.
Dad’s lips thinned for a moment as he moved green beans around on his plate, brow still furrowed deeply as he worked through his thoughts. “You know my father was an absolute bastard.”
Surprised by his language, I snuck a glance at Mom to find her watching Dad with encouragement and pride on her face.
“But my childhood is no excuse for my treatment of you,” Dad continued.
“You’re right.” I didn’t mind stating that fact for the first time in my life, but I didn’t allow my hurt to lace my tone.
His lips twisted as though attempting a smile. “Perhaps someday you will be able to do what I’ve never been able to—forgive your father for letting you down at every turn.”
My damned throat went tight again, eyes stinging.
“Well!” Mom said with breathless excitement or perhaps an overwhelming overflow of other emotions. “I believe I like this new means of communication.”
“It’s healthy,” I agreed with a rasped voice, glancing at Dad again. “It brings healing.”
He nodded agreement, his eyes a little wet too.
I filled my lungs, girding my loins for the next topic of discussion since this one had gone well. “While we’re on a roll,” I said, fingers crossed, “I’m pansexual. That means I like men, women, people—whatever and whoever. A person’s physical makeup doesn’t matter to me. I find everyone on the gender spectrum attractive.”
Both parents blinked as though baffled by my announcement.
“What I’m saying is that if and when I bring someone home again they might not be female.”
Dad nodded acknowledgement first, surprising the hell out of me. “Auntie Dottie’s daughter is non-binary. Uncle Aubrey’s son is transitioning and prefers to be called Erica instead of Eric now.”
Look at Dad showing off his proper terminology.
A grin stretched my lips, one I hadn’t experienced in far too long. Felt good as fuck.
I shouldn’t have been surprised with how he constantly attempted to educate himself by reading books from the library and watching the news. Either the man had a learning kink or henever managed to measure up to his own father’s standards and still strove to become a better man.
I hated that I could totally empathize, but I’d been dealt this hand, and I wasn’t going to fold as I’d considered doing back in September.
Onwardhad become my new motto, one I could appreciate after having been depressed for far too long.
“So neither of you will care who I choose to date when the time comes?” I focused on Mom since she hadn’t reacted in any way other than to go quiet.
“We just want you happy,” Mom whispered, glancing at Dad as though seeking his agreement.
“She speaks the truth, son.”
Well, fuck.
I shoveled another bite of sweet potatoes into my mouth to keep from blubbering and let the tears roll down my cheeks.
Chapter 29
Jamie
Berlin wasn’t much of a city compared to Boston, but it was ten times the size of Pippen Creek, and not everyone knew their neighbors. Actual strangers existed two doors down from my apartment. Some caught up in their own little worlds, others ignorant and hateful toward those they shared the streets with.
At least the office where I worked lacked drama.
