Page 73 of Returning Your Love
Spent and body going limp, I sagged against the couch, my cum smearing all the fuck over everything.
Chaz wrapped his arms around me and stayed buried deep, one last shudder rippling him over my back. A few more curses spilled from him, and I found myself grinning, riding the high of a lifetime.
I squeezed my hole around his girth, wishing he could stay inside me forever.
He shuddered again, trying to bury deeper. “You killed me,” he grumbled, breath hot in my pit. His tongue stroked me there, causing me to shiver.
“Mmm,” I hummed my enjoyment and appreciation of a him delivering the ass-fucking I’d been desperate for, even if it hadn’t been hours long like I’d have preferred. Not bad for a quickie,but next time would be ten times better. “Give me a few, and I’ll return the favor.”
He huffed a snort and started to pull out.
I sighed at the loss of his warmth, the fullness of having him inside me. My hole gaped, the wetness slipping from me making my dick twitch sooner than it normally would.
Tentative fingers slid over my taint and up over my stretched pucker.
“Shove it back in,” I ordered, feeling too damned empty for comfort.
Chaz retreated rather than obey.
I looked over my shoulder.
He stared at the spunk on his fingers, his face void of color. “Oh, fuck. We—we didn’t use a c-condom.”
“I told you it was okay,” I assured him, shifting to perch on my hip. “I trust you, Chaz, and I was tested after the last guy I was with. There’s nothing to worry about.”
He swallowed hard and shook his head. “I didn’t… We shouldn’t have?—”
“Don’t youfuckingdare,” I hissed, anger roused like a flash of lightning. I wouldn’t let him go there, ruin the most memorable night of my entire life. Finally being with him, sharing intimacy far beyond fucking even if it had been a quick and harsh coming together, was a dream come true. He wouldnotfuck this moment for me.
“Jamie.”
“No, Chaz. Donotlessen this, donotregret this. Please!”
“The fuck did I do? My fault,” he whispered at the cum on his fingertips as though lost in his head, and fucking hell, did I want to grab hold of his arms and shake the shit out of him.
“The fuck it is!” I shot back, annoyed, hurt, and beyond pissed. “Shelly didn’t deserve you, Chaz. She’s the one who planned to leave. She was down in Berlin that day because shewanted to be there. Her actions were not a direct result of anything than her own thoughts and decisions!”
Chaz shook his head as though he refused to believe a single word I said. If he’d heard me at all. His shoulders rounded, his face stricken with grief.
Empathy rushed through me, cooling my blood in a blink, and my throat swelled, my eyes stinging. “Chaz.”
He wouldn’t look at me but stood like a statue, dick flaccid and glistening, cum coating his hand and holding his gaze riveted.
“You aren’t to blame,” I tried again, the sudden urge to let him know he wasn’t alone in his feelings of guilt rushing through me. Mine had to be ten times his. Maybe if I told him the truth, he might be willing to do the same, and we would be able to continue moving forward.
“Don’t you think I feel guilty as fuck for wishing Shelly was dead?” I whispered, sharing my deepest shame. “That she would be gone from this earth so you would be finally be free to be with me? That I would be able to love you how I’ve always dreamed of doing?”
The blood drained further from Chaz’s face, causing a sickly pallor, and he blinked, lifting his focus upward. “You…what?”
Humiliation flooded through me at the horrified surprise in his eyes, but I needed to be honest about the hurt I’d been hiding from him. He wasn’t the only one living with guilt that ate at a man’s insides. If outing my shameful secret helped him, I would gladly uncover my sins.
“Why would you want that?” Chaz asked, his voice low. Broken in a way I’d never heard. “Why, Jamie? She was your friend!”
Was. Had been.
But my desire for Chaz had long-since overshadowed whatever kindness I’d felt for his wife who had treated him liketrash when he’d always been an unpolished diamond in my eyes. He was the one who held my loyalty, not Shelly.NeverShelly.
“I told you I would burn in hell if it meant having you.” I reached for him, but he yanked away, putting even more distance between us as he gave a slow, disbelieving head shake.
