Page 50 of Returning Your Love
“Even in death you can’t make time for your wife?”
Talk about a low blow. What a way to make me feel even shittier—bring up Shelly’s bitching behind my back.
A muscle ticked in my cheek as I fought to keep from scowling or even worse, cursing both her and my mom out.
“She’s gone, Mom.” I barely refrained from hissing the sad, fucking truth. “Shelly is dead. It no longer matters where I spend the bulk of my days since she’s not around to complain about it.”
Mom gasped, her eyes wide.
I rubbed a hand over my face, scrubbing at the scruff on my jawline. Perhaps I’d gone a little too far. Mom hadn’t ever been so brutally honest with me. She’d lost her only daughter-in-law and was probably hurting more than I was.
“I know it sounds harsh, but let me figure out how to move forward now that she’s gone, okay? Please give me space—and tell everyone calling and knocking on my front door that while condolences are appreciated, I need to be alone.”
It took her a few seconds, but she nodded and stood. “I’ll see myself out.”
I didn’t address her slightly petulant attitude or voice while she did just that. With how I’d spoken to her, I deserved it.
The door shut behind her, leaving me exactly how I wanted to be.
On my own.
I picked up the casserole and emptied the contents directly into the trash, my mind already going to the car on the lift I hadn’t been able to finish the day before.
Chapter 17
Jamie
Itexted Chaz a few times a day even though he never responded. While I couldn’t begin to imagine what he was going through, I hated that he shut himself off from everyone who cared for him.
Kel over at Scone Haven had raised more than enough money to help with the burial. Dad’s secretary, Babs, had set up meals for Chaz, making food one less thing he had to think about or plan for the coming days.
A local cleaning service had offered their services free of charge for the next couple of months too. Knowing Chaz, he’d decline that offer since he didn’t like nosy people all up in his space.
Apple Acres Farm along with The Market had donated groceries and fresh produce, probably more food than he could eat in a year. The Outdoor Shop had mailed a gift card in the hopes of giving him something to indulge in once he was ready to move on.
And me?
I got in contact with the hospital and made sure that all bills were sent to me. Chaz didn’t have health insurance, and I hadmore than enough in the bank and investments to cover the costs of her ER visit, tests, surgery, the morgue stay—everything.
Reducing Chaz’s financial difficulties was penance for sinning against his wife but also the only way I found to help him. Honoring his request for space hurt like hell.
The bay doors at the shop no longer stood open during regular business hours, the colder September air requiring a heated interior to work comfortably. But that meant I never caught sight of Chaz while intentionally driving by to check on him from afar.
Friday night, we had an away game and got crushed forty-something to zilch. Regardless of the shutout and losing season, we plugged onward, the kids and Coach Dave able to keep more upbeat than I managed.
My mood dragged over having to be apart from Chaz when he suffered.
Saturday morning’s outlook didn’t pan out any better, dark skies bringing in depressing rain storms that matched my spirits as I sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee and attempting to eat cheesy scrambled eggs because I needed nourishment. Thoughts of Chaz made engaging in normal, necessary activities difficult.
He had finally succeeded in giving Shelly what she’d always wanted, and both his wife and child had been ripped away from him.
Thinking about their intimacy made it even harder to eat or sleep, so I attempted to keep my focus on his heart rather than mine.
Chaz’s loss not only left him without a deserved sense of accomplishment but what had to be gut-wrenching devastation too. I couldn’t imagine his emotional state, and every time I tried, I broke down into tears. Then guilt rose to choke the air from my lungs, and I found myself begging those gods again for their forgiveness.
The wake was set for Tuesday night. Babs informed me when I dropped off Dad’s lunch he’d forgotten. He was out on a call, so I hung out for a little while, having nothing better to do, listening as Babs filled me in on the town’s gossip.
The Hendersons had taken care of the funeral plans and had intended to pay for it as well until Kel had stepped in with his fundraiser. Scone Haven was in need of a new waitress with Shelly gone, and Babs joked that I would look good in an apron.
