Page 34 of Returning Your Love
I finished up an alignment job, and rather than lingering to clean or doing paperwork so I wouldn’t get home until after dark, I stepped out into the early evening’s cooling air and filled my lungs with something other than the scent of grease and oil.
A car sped past, most likely on the way to the season opener, “Go Bobcats” in bold, red letters on the back window brought a smile to my lips. When Jamie and I had played on the team, the cheerleaders had done the same. The tradition continued, as would Frenchie’s being packed to the brim after the game while the players and their friends partied hard over at the pond beside a bonfire.
Chief Sutton and his officers on duty would be busy until the early morning hours, no doubt.
I climbed into my truck far earlier than usual. I couldn’t remember when Shelly and I had last sat down to dinner, and it wasn’t going to happen tonight because I’d made sure I would have time to get ready and nothing else.
Shelly watched TV and was dressed to go when I walked in the door. “We need to leave in a half hour so we get good seats on the fifty yard line,” she said, her level of bitch voice lesser than I’d expected after I’d waited until the last second before heading home.
“I’ll be ready.”
I showered quickly, and we were out the door fifteen minutes later, giving her jack to complain about. I even wore a newer T-shirt, same as I had while on that date all those weeks ago because I wasn’t in the mood for her nagging. The silence in the car, while better than bitching, was still depressing as fuck. At least she didn’t stink of whiskey. I wished that I felt free to hold her hand atop my thigh like we’d done on this night every year since I’d gotten my license.
But I didn’t, same as on our last date.
And she couldn’t be bothered to initiate affection either.
We didn’t have a far drive, and the atmosphere when we parked and walked through the busy gravel lot toward the school’s old stadium kicked in a little adrenaline, enough to lighten my steps.
I told myself I was looking forward to the game, the enjoyment of tradition, and the hype about to hit us from the younger spectators with their face paint and signs, the cheerleaders egging them on. Music already poured from crackling speakers, coating the arriving crowd with excitement.
A grin crept onto my face, and I gave in to the thrilling swell seeming to wash over the town.
It was going to be a good night.
And my thought had nothing to do with the fact that I would see Jamie for the first time since the “incident”. I’d kept my head down whenever driving in or out of town, ignoring any red vehicle in my periphery in case it was his SUV. I’d figured out of sight, out of mind. Hadn’t exactly worked. Hadn’t helped my state of shame or my lust-filled mind toward the man either.
But not seeking him out intentionally made me feel like I did good. Hadn’t failed outwardly since that night, at least. In my mind was a whole other story, one filled with fantasies and what-ifs I focused on while jerking off in the shower or bathroom at the shop. Happened almost daily now that my libido had woken with a vengeance.
Turned out, there was nothing wrong with my dick.
Just my marriage.
I ignored the field while following Shelly through the gates after paying, traipsing along behind her, hands shoved in my pockets, enjoying the scent of hot dogs and popcorn from the snack shack we passed. A line at least ten deep already crowded the small building, little kids running around and roughhousing.
It seemed the whole town had thought like Shelly and had shown up early which was the norm on opening night: Grab the best seats on the hometown bleachers that didn’t even span the entire length of the field.
Our feet clomped on metal treads as we climbed the stairs, and we shuffled past a few people already settled in toward a narrow opening between families.
Shelly greeted the person on her left while plunking her ass down, and I had to excuse the woman on my other side while sitting on the cold seat. Everyone scooted, making room for us, and I exhaled fully before shifting my focus to the field.
Neither team had come out yet.
I breathed easy even though we’d gotten there before for their big entrance at the field’s end.
The cheerleaders had created a banner full of color and exclamation points for the team to barrel through once they’d been announced over the ancient sound system continuing to pump out music.
Shelly sat engaged in conversation with the woman beside her, face animated as though everything was rainbows and unicorns, faking like she always did, but I couldn’t be bothered to do the same.
I ignored her false front, focusing inward on the tremors in my stomach and the dampness on my palms.
Was Jamie freaking the fuck out right now?
Part of me wanted to go find him, tell him he was going to kick ass, give him a good luck hug. Linger for a long time, drink in his scent, and taste his mouth?—
No.
Clearing my throat, I turned toward the woman on my right.
