Page 126 of Ten Years and Then…
He was quiet for a long time. Then he paddled the last couple of feet over to her, and wrapped his arms around her. She melted into him; nothing bad could happen with him holding her.
“Maybe—if we can do it—we make it like that last night before the semester ended.” The night they’d broken up. “You said you wanted one last memory. Maybe we can give them that. Four days instead of a couple of hours.” He squeezed her tight, and she could feel everything—his love for her, but also his anxiety, his fears. And his sadness. “We owe them that much.”
She squeezed him back, and then she kissed him. She meant it to be just a momentary brush of her lips against his, but that was impossible for both of them.
When she finally pulled away, she whispered, “We can do it. You’re right, we owe them.”
She rested her head against his chest. She felt the necklace against her cheek, and she heard his heartbeat, strong and steady. He made anything seem possible. “Four days, and then we tell them, and then …”
“And then we go our separate ways,” he said. “And maybe—if we can ever forgive ourselves, we can keep our promise.”
Maybe three and a half more years would be long enough.
Chapter 39
Day 6 of the cruise—aboard Empress of the Seas/The Bahamas
Daniel, November 11
Last night had been, without question, the worst one of Daniel’s life.
Worse than the night in the hospital after he broke his arm when he was nine years old, and the painkillers had stopped working and he couldn’t even cry because Dad had told him to “be tough.”
Worse than the drive back from the movie theater after he hadn’t slept with Peggy, sitting in the passenger seat while she wouldn’t look at him and he imagined every insult he’d hear from the guys at school if they ever found out.
Worse than the night Nora closed the door behind her and never came back.
It was the worst because Leanne had no idea what was in his heart. Because she’d believed him yesterday when he told her he was just overwhelmed by the Dolphin Experience, and it was hard to put into words how he felt. And because that was completely true and completely dishonest at the same time.
How could he do this for another three days? Or even three hours? He already felt nauseous; how much worse would he be when it was finally time to tell her the truth?
The ship was docked this morning in Nassau, and they hadn’t scheduled an excursion. Leanne wanted to just walk around the town. It would just be them, with no distractions, no group around them, nothing to concentrate on except each other.
She was already dressed, in an orange sundress that looked fantastic on her. And she was just radiating excitement. “It’s supposed to be beautiful,” she said. “And everyone says the shopping is great—tons of bargains.” She took his hand and opened the cabin door. “And I get you all to myself, all day. How lucky can a girl be?”
He had to calm down, get control of himself. One conversation at a time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time. He could do that. He could try to be the man she thought he’d been all along, just a little bit longer.
Nora, a little later
Last night had been horrible.
Nora already felt guilty enough, but Greg made it a thousand times worse with his repeated apologies for backing out of the Dolphin Experience.
She’d almost laughed at one point, because he actually should have been sorry—but he had no way to know why. If he hadn’t backed out, there would only have been one space left in her group rather than two. And when Daniel had walked up to the edge of the water, without Leanne, and seen her there holding hands with Greg, he’d have let the brunette in the red swimsuit have his place.
She wouldn’t have shared that time with Daniel, and maybe—just maybe, if nothing else happened to screw up their system of notes—they’d have both been able to avoid each other the rest of the cruise. Both of them might have been able to salvage their relationships. Or at least keep them going past the last day of the cruise and, if they still had to end, it would have been cleaner and easier.
“Nora?” She looked up from her thoughts, and her omelet, to catch Greg’s eye. She noticed her fork was midway between the plate and her mouth; how long had it been there, frozen in midair?
They were at a table by themselves in the Main Dining Room; she’d have preferred one of the big circular tables with strangers to talk to and keep her from getting lost in her thoughts, but Greg—again, he couldn’t know—had picked a table for two.
“Sorry. I was just—you know I get lost sometimes.”
He was about to apologize yet again. It had to stop. And she had to stop rationalizing her own choices. She had no right to blame her cowardice, or how little she knew her own heart, on him.
“Greg, please. You didn’t do anything wrong yesterday. Let’s just concentrate on today. We’ll finish breakfast, go back to the room and freshen up, and then it’ll be time to go ashore and do the pirate ship thing.”
That had been his choice. It sounded silly, but fun. Ridiculous costumes, swordfights and plenty of “Arrgs!” and “Ahoy, mateys!” and “You scurvy dogs!”
