Page 66 of Silent Deception
AFTER MOVING CATTLEinto the south pasture all morning, Ryan took a shower and went to the office to get to work, though his thoughts were mostly on Kristin and the evening they’d spent together.
He’d never intended to kiss her like that. He’d never wanted to make connections that would hurt her when he had to leave. But every last bit of resolve disappeared whenever he spent time with her, and now...
And now, he was starting to have trouble even imagining a future without her in his arms every night.
But he had nothing to offer her. Nothing long-term. He’d failed in so many ways. Here at the ranch, when he hadn’t measured up to his father’s standards. In the service, where he’d failed to save all those children in the hospital explosion. Even with Kristin, when she’d abandoned him in college and he hadn’t fought to win her back.
He’d be leaving the Four Aces soon. There was nothing for him here—no career. Certainly no future on the ranch. Where he went next was anybody’s guess, but Kristin and her son had roots here.
He just needed to concentrate on that fact before they fell into a deeper relationship that would only hurt her when he left.
Garrett wandered into the office and perched on the edge of the desk, watching Ryan sort through the current bills and the invoices that would need to go out in the mail.
“Felt good to be on a horse again,” Garrett said, gingerly testing his ribs. “Three weeks on foot and I was about goin’ stir-crazy.”
Shoving aside his melancholy thoughts, Ryan rocked back in his chair. “Tell me you aren’t going off to some rodeo again this weekend.”
“Okay, I’m not.” Garrett shrugged.
Ryan raised a brow. “Now tell me the truth.”
“Truth is, Jackhammer took some of the fun out of it for me. Leastways, for now.”
“He could’ve done more than that.”
“Yeah, well, I’m thinking I need less excitement in my life.” Garrett picked up a horseshoe serving as a paperweight and hefted its weight in one hand. “I’ve been thinking about getting back into reining horses. Trev has been hauling our halter and pleasure horses, but maybe we could diversify a little.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Garrett regarded him through narrowed eyes. “So what about you? And don’t tell me you’re going back into the service. I’veseenyou gimp around in the morning, and that knee isn’t going to take you into active combat. Not your shoulder, either.”
“Seems there’s a lot of people eager to tell me that, but nothing has changed.” Ryan pointedly swiveled his chair to face the computer screen and got to work.
“You could take a medical discharge and stay here.”
“Right. Clint would be thrilled about that.”
“We could sure use you.” Garrett pushed off from the desk and strolled toward the door. “And just think about your pretty little neighbor. I have a feeling she wouldn’t mind having you on this side of the world.”
Clint walked in just minutes after Garrett walked out. “What’s this about you convincing Garrett to quit rodeo?”
“No idea.” Ryan spared Clint a brief glance, then continued adding a list of numbers.
“He says you finally made him ‘see the dangers of rodeo’ and he’s going to start training reining horses instead.”
Ryan laughed. “My little brother is matchmaking, I think.”
Clint looked at him blankly.
“He wants me to stay here. He wants you and me to get along so that can happen.”
Harrumph.Clint rifled through the stack of bills on the desk, tapped them into a neat pile.
“Crazy, huh?” Clint didn’t answer. “Another crazy thing around here is that you’re wrong about Nate Cantrell—at least in part—and you don’t want to admit it.”
“I’m not going to argue. It’s been analyzed six ways to Sunday.”
“Maybe so, but hiding your head in the sand doesn’t make something right. And if you’re all so sure, why did Leland ask me to report anything I found unusual? I’d guess you both still have questions.” Ryan reached into a desk drawer and pulled out an accordion file tied with a string, and dropped it on the desk with a thud. “Just look at this.”
