Page 21 of The Wild Prince's Favorite
Alezya kept crying, her jaw trembling, but her mind was still there to help her sort out what to do next. Lumie. She had to save Lumie, no matter what. As long as her baby made it, everything would have been worth it, even her death.
She couldn’t outrun her father’s people, but she could buy herself time. No, she could buy Lumie time. If she could get them to chase her, far enough from Lumie, then maybe, someone would get to her baby first and take her away.
Alezya shivered, not because of the cold, but because of how mad and desperate that plan was, even to herself. She kept thinking, again and again, but she could see no other option than this horrible one.
Worse, time was pressing her, as she could hear her clansmen getting closer and closer. Now that it was a running race instead of a climbing one, she was losing ground quickly. She had to make a decision or her hesitation would end up killing them both. Alezya kept crying, not only from despair and sadness but out of anger at how unfair this situation was. She couldn’t believe there would be a world where the gods were so cruel, they’d push her to do this. She had to abandon her own child for her sake.
Lumie’s short life had been a long list of compromises, settling for less than she had deserved and surviving. Why? Just what had her child done that was so wrong for her to have to endure all this?
She’d always done everything right. Alezya had followed all of her father’s demands since she was born, she had been married to a stranger under his orders, endured countless nights of pain to follow customs, and bore a child. What had she ever done wrong to be pushed to such a tragic end?
If there were any gods out there, they were cruel. Even crueler than the beast flying above their heads.
As she kept crying, Alezya knew she had to end things quickly. The longer she waited, the harder it would be, and the fewer chances Lumie would have. She had already ventured far enough into this unclaimed territory.
She kept looking around. She had to find an area where she could hide her baby. Somewhere big enough to contain a child and hide her, somewhere that would be protected from the winds and possibly beasts in the area.
Alezya shivered again but tried to get that thought out of her head. The snow leopards were nocturnal, they wouldn’t be out so soon... and not when there was already a much bigger predator in the area. She just needed to buy her a bit of time. In an hour or so, the clans would all be up and more people would be out there. She could only hope things would go as planned then, at least for Lumie.
The second she had decided she’d part with her child, Alezya had already given up on her own life; in her eyes, it was a good bargain if it could give her baby a chance.
She finally found it. A perfect hiding spot, or almost. It came in the form of a dead tree, with almost nothing but its pathetic tree stump left, the original trunk lying on the side, a portion still attached and shards pointing up to the sky. Not losing a second, Alezya ran over.
It was a bit hollow, with a hole inside that would be large enough for her to put Lumie in. From the look of it, that tree had been torn apart by some very strong wind, a recent snowstormperhaps. Either way, it was unoccupied, and she only had to dig out a bit of snow and debris before she found it deep enough.
Her tears wouldn’t stop, but nonetheless, she untied Lumie from her chest quickly. No matter how heavy the sadness in her heart, she couldn’t let it slow her down.
With trembling hands, she put Lumie down; miraculously, she had managed not to leave any blood on her child. Her baby noticed her mom’s tears, and to Alezya’s horror, she began crying.
“No, no, no! Everything’s alright, baby. See? Everything’s alright, my little snowflake...”
Alezya forced herself to smile through the tears. Nothing was more painful than painting a beautiful lie on her face, for her baby’s sake.
She kept sobbing but smiled as hard as she could, like another torture she had to subject herself to. Lumie was crying a bit, but once again, she seemed utterly confused by the soothing words, smiling face, and her tearful mother’s torn expression.
Alezya kept smiling at her as if everything was alright, as if her heart wasn’t being ripped apart by this moment, shredded into painful shards that were killing her. With her fingers shaking, she took off her medallion and put it around her daughter’s neck instead. Perhaps someone would recognize the symbol of her mother’s clan. Perhaps someone good would find Lumie... All of her hopes felt like snowflakes in the wind, so fragile and ready to scatter into oblivion.
“Go to sleep, Lumie,” she whispered. “Mommy will be back. Sleep, my little snowflake. Please sleep.”
“Mommy will be back” were words that she had said a lot before, words that Lumie could understand, somehow. That meant Alezya would leave her alone, but she’d be back some time.
Perhaps she had indeed grown used to it, because her baby’s eyelids seemed a bit heavier, and she calmed down. Alezya forced herself to keep smiling, patting her head as if Lumie was a good child for feeling sleepy. Her hand was trembling, and her heart felt painful like never before. She was glad Lumie was already in the trunk, and couldn’t see her mother’s entire body trembling from the pain, the blood dripping from her ripped shoes and her side.
Lumie was a smart girl, she’d have noticed something was wrong. She couldn’t have that. Instead, Alezya soothed her like she always would, with a gentle little music coming from her lips, although she had to focus on uttering it from her trembling lips and through that painful knot in her throat.
All of her body was making her pay for what she was doing. She couldn’t shake the horrible feeling that she was abandoning her baby, and she had to remind herself, again and again, that it was a bet for Lumie’s survival. Lumie’s life against hers. It was horrible, cruel, and heart-breaking, but it was the best bargain she could afford right now.
The last one.
“Sleep, my snowflake,” she whispered to her dozing baby. “I love you. I love you so, so much...”
Her voice cracked on those last words.
Had she told her enough that she loved her? Had she made Lumie feel happy and loved enough, in what little time they’d had together? Had she hugged her enough, exchanged enough smiles with her? A horrendous wave of regret hit her. All those times she was out hunting for food, she wished she’d been by her baby’s side. Every second lost was now like another blade piercing her heart.
A male voice nearby took her out of that black hole of thoughts. She was out of time.
She took a deep breath and sealed her emotions deep in her heart. She could keep crying, but she had to save Lumie. Making sure her baby was ready to nap, Alezya took a painful step back and glanced around. She found a piece of tree bark that was large enough, and she put it over Lumie’s hole, like a lid on a precious basket. It looked a bit suspicious, but it was wood on wood.
