Page 166 of Stuck With You
“Sweet pea, then you need to tell me what’s going on.”
My mom may be full of show tunes and a good time, but she doesn’t mess around when it’s serious.
I blow my nose and get myself under control, filling my mom in. I start with the latest from Miles and his crusade to force us to appear as a family. Then I tell her about Slade and explain how we’ve become friends, slowly tipping into more. I include the cookies he brought for Ollie, staying at his house, the snowball fight, and Christmas, all the way through talking to Griffin.
My mom patiently waits on the other end of the line, listening with only the whistle of the kettle in the background.
I inhale long and slow, needing her to provide comfort and clarity when I have none.
“I’ve been waiting for you to tell me about this big hunk. Roxie said he’s one tall drink of water.” I hear the smile in her voice.
My mom cannot be Little-Miss-The-Sun-Will-Come-Out-Tomorrow right now. I need her in the gutter with me, sheltering from the storm spinning out of control.
“Mooooommmm!” I groan, wiping my nose on my sleeve.
“Ok, fine. You’re angry and pissed, so who’s ass is grass first?”
“Mom,” I whine.
There’s a pause, and I know she’s getting to it.
My mom is dramatic and loud, but she has lived and survived and still finds beauty despite devastation and heartbreak.
“Slade’s not wrong, sweetheart. You need help. Serious help. Someone to take Miles out at the knees. That man is already parading around as top dog, and we both know he’ll yank every chain he can, snaking his way to the top.”
I flop back against my pillows. “Mom, can we be team Sarah for a minute?”
“Babe, I am always team Sarah, and what he did sucks, but . . .”
I roll my eyes, not wanting to hear her defend him.
“Sometimes, people do shitty things that hurt us for the right reasons.”
I want to put the pillow over my head and drown out her words.
“It’s nowhere near the same, but your dad took off without a second glance, and I hated him for years. I was angry and brokenhearted that he didn’t love me or you enough to stay. That he didn’t see what we could be, but you know what? Leaving like that was the best thing he could have done for us. He knew he wasn’t meant to be a father. Rather than make us be the misery that fed his addiction, he skidded out at the sight of two pink lines.”
“Mom, how is it you always see the good?” This woman could find the silver lining in a pile of crap.
“Honey, there’s plenty of bad all around. I just don’t give it the power to hold me down. There’s too much brightness to let the darkness crowd it out. We have to shine when we can.”
I close my eyes, wishing I could see things the way she does, but . . . “Mom, what if I make the same mistake all over again? What if I don’t see it like, I didn’t with Miles? What if Miles wins, and I have to spend the rest of my life dealing with his narcissistic, belittling every damn day? I can’t do that.” My lungs ache with the possibility.
I sink into my bed again, wanting it to swallow me whole.
“Well, first, you aren’t the same woman you were when you fell for Miles. You’ve lived, grown, and can spot a piece of shit a mile away. That’s a gift, Sarah, that only comes with experience. But this means you already know Slade is nothing like him. Plus, he bought your baby cookies. What man does that?” My mom is swooning, and dammit, she’s not wrong. “He held Frankie when she was sick and feverish.”
He did the same with me.
Slade has shown me time and again that he’s dependable and trustworthy, but I need him to actually talk to me.
“And Sarah.” She shifts into that mom tone, and my muscles constrict. “You’ve got to gather up all your ammunition and fight Miles. He can’t win this time. There’s nothing weak about asking people for help when you need it. Why do you think I love it here in this small town so much? These people are insane, and they have nothing better to do than talk shit about each other, but when push comes to shove, they show up. Day or night. Whether they like you or not. All we’ve got is each other, and that’s better than all the luxury of New York City or anywhere else.”
I blow out a slow breath, resting back against my pillows. “So, just ask my boss to provide counsel, even though there’s no way I’ll ever be able to pay him back and have all my dirty laundry invade my workplace?” I never want to feel like I owe anyone anything.
Her voice softens. “What if this allows your boss an opportunity to help his child in a way he’s never been able to? Sometimes, payment comes in the form of something so much greater than money.”
I bite my lip hard, having never thought about it that way. “Ugh, this all feels so messed up.”
