Page 157 of Stuck With You
She shrugs. “I don’t know.” Her eyes flick between mine. “Look, we’re friends, and you’ve helped me more times than I can count. I’m truly grateful. I just don’t want to muddy anything up.”
I blink, trying to stay calm. “Muddy things?” I ask as cooly as possible, needing her to clarify quickly.
She nods, and her eyes drop to the floor. “Yeah. I mean, if you can’t tell my life is a mess, and you’re my friend.” It’s a giant ass kick to the throat. “I need that more than I need. . .whatever happenedlast night.” She pauses, dragging her chin up. “I don’t want to lose you.” She says it so matter-of-factly that it shocks my heart back into place.
I stare at her, trying to understand, but then I think I do. I’m no expert in healthy relationships, but I know the best ones are built around friendship.
I step into her, aching to pull her close and make her see, but hold back. For now. “It doesn’t have to be one or the other.”
She stares at me, her brow scrunching, but then it smooths. “I thought . . .” She pushes her hair behind her ear, shaking her head. “Never mind.”
She twists, but I gently tug her back, keeping her between me and the door. She’s not going anywhere. I brace my hand against it, needing her to tell me exactly what she thought.
I lean, getting eye-to-eye. “Tell me what you thought.”
She presses her eyes closed. “I’m not . . . I can’t do. . .casual. I need simple and stable and—”
I frown. “What?”
Her shoulders droop. “I can’t be friends with benefits. My head doesn’t work like that. I have all this stuff with Miles, and Ollie and Frankie to think about. I can’t—”
“You think that’s what this would be?” I try not to sound offended, but I hate that she would even think I would use her like that.
“I don’t know,” she whines, slapping a hand over her face, then dropping it. “I threw myself at you. Literally climbed you like a tree, and thank goodness you kissed me back because I might have just let myself be swallowed up by a giant pile of snow. But then, you pulled away, and I don’t know what that meant. Maybe you realized what was happening and that it’s not a good idea. Or you don’t feel it, and we were just caught up in the most fantastic day that ever existed.”
She pulls in air, and her panicked rush makes me feel so much better.
“And then I ran because I don’t know what’s happening or what’s going to happen, and the absolute last thing I ever want to do is . . .”She blinks, her gaze holding mine, and takes a moment as if she’s finding the courage to say whatever it is. “Hurt you.”
She stares at me, her fingers pressing against her lips as if she didn’t intend to say all of that.
The tightness in my chest evaporates, and all my nerves stand down.
I grip her hips, needing her to hear me. “Sarah, I only pulled away because we were in the middle of your driveway, and if I didn’t, the entire neighborhood would have gotten a show.”
I inhale slowly and deeply as her eyes track mine. I back her into my door, wanting her like I’ve never wanted another.
“Soooo, it wasn’t just a momentary lapse in judgment?” she asks, clarifying.
I shake my head, moving into her, and she watches me.
“You weren’t just pity-kissing me back? You would’ve wanted. . .more?” Her cheeks flush, and I freaking love that I make that happen.
I slide my palm against her cheek, and her warmth radiates through me. “Yes. And it wouldn’t have been just a one-time thing. Not with you.”
“It. . .wouldn’t?” Her words come out slowly and a little breathy.
This is what I’ve been waiting for since I pulled away from her last night.
Her eyes stay locked on mine.
“No. When I carry you to my bedroom, I want to be sure we’re ready for that.”
Her fingers grip my shirt, holding onto me.
“Iwon’t be a one-time thing, Sarah. And it won’t just be friendly.”
She huffs out a laugh, and her breath whooshes over my lips. “You might change your mind.”
