Page 25 of Protected By the Bikers Next Door
My obsession is only growing stronger now that I know she’s involved with both Wolf and Bear. If I want to be more thanjust a friend and stop myself from spiraling down a dark hole, becoming no better than a stalker, I need to tell her how I feel.
Jenny is at school, and Wolf and Bear had to head to the clubhouse for a Shadow Pack council meeting, leaving me behind to protect Harper. It’s the ideal opportunity to tell her how I feel without an audience.
With feet of lead, I get up from the desk where I’ve been working and head out in search of Harper. I find her in the kitchen, baking. The warm, comforting smell of cookies fills the room. For a second, I hesitate. What if she rejects me? What if she only wants Bear and Wolf? Or worse, what if she only agrees to being with all three, with me added on out of pity, or a misguided belief that we’re a package deal? How do I let her know I want her, too, without making her feel she has no choice but to accept all three of us? In our world, sharing one woman isn’t unusual, but to Harper, will it seem like an ultimatum?
All of my worries melt away as she turns to face me, the sun shining off her chestnut hair, her smile broad and warm. Every time she smiles at me, I feel like I’m home.
“Hawk,” she says, sounding genuinely pleased to see me. “Come try one; they’re still hot.”
I stride over to her, basking in the smell of warm cookie dough and chocolate mixed with what I now think of as Harper’s smell, a combination of baking, vanilla, and something more natural and primal.
“Only if you have one too,” I insist, knowing she rarely eats her baking for fear of gaining weight.
“Okay,” she says conspiratorially.
I watch as she takes a bite, closing her eyes and moaning with pleasure. It’s one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen, and my cock twinges in response. There’s a trace of melted chocolate left on her lips. She looks up at me expectantly, and before she speaks or I can overthink it, my plan to declare my feelings goes out the window, and I decide to show her instead.
When I kiss her, I can tell I have caught her off guard. A twinge of panic hits me as I wonder if I’ve made a terrible mistake. But then she kisses me back. I run my hand through her hair and pull her close to me, marveling in the feel of her soft, womanly body against mine. I could drown in her, keep kissing her, and never stop.
Like all good things, it comes to an end. Harper pulls back slightly, and I stop kissing her. Curious hazel eyes meet mine.
“Hawk, I didn’t know that you… Did the others put you up to this?” she asks, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.
I want to laugh at the absurdity of the question, that she could honestly believe it impossible for all three of us to want her. For her to conclude that I must have been coerced into kissing her.
“Harper, we enjoy sharing, but it’s not obligatory on all sides. If anyone isn’t into it, it doesn’t happen. I kissed you because I wanted to. Because I want you. I had a whole speech prepared, but…”
Harper giggles at the thought. “You? A speech?”
She’s right, I’m not the speech-giving kind. I’m more of an ‘observe then act’ type of person. I don’t tend to waste words. I suppose that by kissing her, I did just that.
I smile shyly and run my hand through my hair. “I guess it’s not really my style. But I wanted you to know how I feel. I wanted to let you know that I want you, too. I needed to shoot my shot before it was too late. I won’t be upset if you don’t feel the same way.” A lie. It’ll kill me if she chooses my brothers but not me, but I won’t show it.
Harper studies me intently. I’ve found that when you don’t speak much, people fill the silence and open up more. When I don’t rush to say anything else, giving her time to think and reply, she’s candid.
“I want you, too. The problem is that I want all three of you, which is scary, confusing, and messy, and…” she sighs. “I don’t know, impossible.”
“It’s not impossible. We share everything. We always have.”
She raises her eyebrow, scrutinizing me, searching for meaning. “Sure, sex isn’t impossible. I’m not such a prude that I don’t know that. But I’m not the sort of person who just has casual sex without wanting more. I’m also not an object to be shared. What happens if I want more than just sex? I’m not just attracted to you all, Ilikeyou all. I can’t possibly date three people at the same time, can I? What happens if it doesn’t work out with one of you? Or if one of you decides you don’t like me in that way, then what? Or heck, what happens if it goes really well? It’s not like we can get married and live a normal life.”
I love how much thought she’s put into it. The fact that for her, it wouldn’t just be sex makes my heart sing. There’s only been a couple of women we’ve all liked enough to consider a relationship with, and they either weren’t interested in more than sex or didn’t like us all equally. These things that Harperis worried about convince me further that she’s the right woman for us.
“We’d work it out. We always do. But I’d rather try than risk letting the best thing that could have happened to me get away. I like you, Harper. I want you, in whatever way you decide. I know my brothers feel the same.”
Harper nods slowly. She opens her mouth to reply, but the sound of the door opening and Jenny bounding in, babbling about her day and getting excited over the freshly baked cookies, interrupts us. Wolf and Bear follow behind, giving me knowing looks.
We’ve laid our cards on the table. Harper knows where each of us stands. It’s up to her to decide now.
Chapter 14
Harper
With Hawk’s declaration, the ball is firmly in my court. I know the guys well enough now to know that if I don’t take the next step, they’ll back off. They won’t pressure me.
Which is why I find myself standing in front of the bathroom mirror, contorting my body to try to look slimmer in the sexy lace lingerie set I’m wearing. I’ve never worn it, having bought it years ago as a surprise for Ryan in an attempt to spice up our dying marriage, only for him to comment on how ridiculous women like me are when they try to dress in sexy underwear. The set was relegated to the back of a drawer, never to see the light of day again, until now.
I’m trying not to focus on the negatives or let myself go down the shame spiral with my body. Tonight, I’m trying to find things I like. A pep talk to give me the confidence to actually go downstairs and present myself to the guys like this. If they hadn’t all made their intentions clear already, there’s no way I’d risk a stunt like this, in case they laugh in my face. Jenny is fast asleep, and the guys are watching TV. Now’s my chance. I just need to build the courage to leave this room.
