Page 38 of Wildfire
An hour later, a chirp on my phone wakes me up. Zoe and I had passed out with the pie pan between us.
It is a text from my brother Brian. He is having a total meltdown, saying that I have no family values and am a horrible person for leaving the care of my father up to him and his girlfriend. She already threatens to leave him if he doesn't pick up some slack. I laugh and toss the phone aside. Though I occasionally miss my father, I don’t miss being a nurse, maid, cook, and breadwinner while my brothers get drunk and laid.
Zoe is still conked out, so I get up and wash the pie pan, then slip out the door to bring it to Cole's.
The sun had set while we were passed out, and the chirpers are out and proud. Their song does something to me—like being massaged in the brain. I feel calm here. With each breath, my body relaxes into a gentle state as the sound continues to wash over me. I let myself into Cole's place, put the pie pan in the cupboard, and then find a pad of sticky notes. I scribble, "Best pie-man ever, thanks for the food," then tear it up and try again. I'm not sure what I want to say. "You've been a lifesaver. I'll never forget you". Nope. Trashed. What is my problem? All I want to do is say thanks for the pie, but as I slump onto a bar stool, I realize there is no summing up everything I feel in one sticky note.
Cole had given me shelter and food, gotten me a job, held me when I was sad about my mother, and let me cry without trying to fix me. He hasn't asked for anything from me and doesn't expect anything either. For the first time since my mother died, I am being cared for.
My body starts tensing up again, and I feel that feeling that waltzes in when I'm about to cry. I decide to settle on writing "thanks," so I can get out of his house before he comes home and sees me sitting here at a loss for words, tears streaming down my face.
I pad down to the dock and sit in the dark, listening to the music of the forest around me. In no time, my body is shifting back into calm and contentedness. This place is a balm for my soul.
Tires crunch in the driveway, pulling me back into the moment. Lights pierce the space above my head, and my heart starts beating faster. Cole is home.
Even though I want to talk to him, I don't want to move. Luckily, I don't have to.
"Want some company?"
"Sure thing, Chief."
I hear him chuckle behind me, and he sinks to the boards with me.
"Frogs are out tonight."
"Sure are."
"Where is Zoe?"
"Passed out upstairs. She had a long day."
"Should we wake her for dinner?"
I lean back until my elbows find the dock, looking up at Cole. The moonlight is just bright enough to see the furrow in his brow.
"What's wrong?"
"Wha—? Nothing."
"Sure? I'm a good listener."
He cocks his head to the side to study me before a sly grin spreads across his handsome, scruffy face.
"Nothing a swim won't fix."
"You're on, Chief."
He stands up and starts tearing off his clothes instead of changing inside.
"Um…are you going skinny dipping?"
"Just down to my boxers. I don't want to assume anything." He winks at me, and it shoots right to my center.
"Well, alright then." I stand up and start to strip down to my bra and panties. It wasn't much different from what he'd seen me in the other night. As I drop my pants into the pile, I feel his eyes rake over me, and another zing tears through me, heading straight for my vag.
I've never been shy around men before. But standing here in front of this man, maybe the first to truly be worthy of seeing me undressed, I notice my arms migrating to the front of me.
"Hey," he whispers. There's no need to be shy. You're safe with me. I would never do anything you don't want me to."
