Page 31 of Icy Heart, Empty Chest
I choked on a small sip of coffee, trying to collect myself, with a deep cough.
“Don’t spit take on the map, now,” he said.
I hadn’t checked my phone in hours. I wondered if there was anything on there from her.
“What did she say?” I was endlessly curious.
“Gave me a bevy of compliments and asked if I wanted to get dinner.” He shook his head.
I cringed. “And what did you say?”
“I told her she was very sweet but a relationship wasn’t really a priority right now.”
I felt oddly relieved. Maybe it was because I wouldn’t have to see any lovey-dovey crap, or that Marie could finally move on.
“And now you’re going to make me talk to you every day, now that she’ll be too embarrassed?” I said jokingly. The mood didn’t lighten.
“Sorry. Your emotions doing OK?” I felt a bit unsettled myself. I seldom saw him this blank, this numb. Maybe he wasfaking any smiles but, man, they sure looked more convincing. This was unnerving.
“Not really. They’ve been better.” The frown on his face hadn’t moved since he got here.
I sat at the table. “What does it feel like?”
“Like getting hit with really strong waves as a kid at the beach. One way is negativity, another might be fear, another might be anger.”
“Want to refocus?” I tapped the map.
He nodded.
“With the help of Peanut, we discovered that backdoor. If we go up the basement stairs, we’re at the first level. Looks like mainly a kitchen and small bathroom, maybe a sitting area. The east stairs go up to this big floor space, with bedroom over here and these set of rooms over here. Probability says here,” I said, with a tap.
“Thank you.”
I looked up, puzzled.
“For what?”
“For doing this. For not leaving me to find it myself.” He looked sad, remorseful. It felt wrong. The Damien I knew was previously jubilant, easygoing. I was the moody one.
“I was stupid to move it. I didn’t think about what I was doing,” I admitted. “Besides you have my money-back guarantee.” I threw in what I hoped was a dazzling smile. “You used to love dumb jokes,” I bemoaned when his facial expressions didn’t move.
“I still do. Dad jokes or puns. That was just bad,” he said neutrally.
“It got you to smile a bit so it’s a win.” A ghost of smile had crested over his face.
“Then, Cora, you’d be the first person in a while. I have to fake a lot of stuff these days.”
I looked up, not knowing what to say. This side of Damien was foreign to me. I couldn’t fathom how empty he looked in the last few days.
“We have an hour till we have to go. What can I do to help?”
“With what?”
“Your emotional wellbeing.”
“Do you happen to have a time machine to help me go back and stop me from doing some extremely stupid shit?”
I patted the pockets of my jeans. “Darn, left it in my other pants.”
