Page 36 of Icy Heart, Empty Chest
“I’m a twenty-four-year-old facing my own mortality. It may not even be two weeks. The second it gets touched by any sharp instrument, I fall down dead where I am.”
He downed his beer and placed the bottle on the counter.
“Cor, what am I going to do?” His obvious misery was etched across his face.
“Look, I have two more people to try for leads. I’m not going to give up yet.” I couldn’t. Even only being back in my life for a few days, losing Dae would be like losing my father all over again; just something I couldn’t fathom.
He had been there almost every day of my childhood. He had wrapped his sweatshirt around my waist when I had gotten my period for the first time. Up till high school, I thought he was my soulmate.
“I’m not giving up, OK? There’s not a force in the world that could stop me,” I repeated.
I took his hand and squeezed it briefly.
“You’d be well within your rights to. Up till a week ago, you didn’t talk to me unless you were getting paid to.” He sounded numb. A flash of guilt ran through me.
“Harsh. But true. I didn’t lie though. I never hated you. I couldn’t. I never should have said I did. I’m sorry, Dae.” Even if I couldn’t help my mother or father, I wouldn’t give up on Damien. I owed him that much.
Past high school, I really didn’t have relationships. I had some friends, none of which were super close. I had my fence, which is its own kind of illegal relationship but emotions were never part of it. Those were easier. Didn’t have to wallow in the past or get caught up rehashing old news. I wasn’t Jenna or Marie’s best friend. I certainly wasn’t the first they’d call in an emergency. But they were companions if needed.
After Mom died, it was just me for a while till Dad got back on the parent train. After Dad, I had to survive for myself. If I was the only one I had to think about, it just made it easier. But Dae’s here now and I just can’t do that anymore. He’s this big ball of sunshine who just complicated my life to the nth degree but he makes me feel again, bad and good. He came to me and wants to talk things over. I owe him that. I can’t let anything happen to him. No matter how much it hurts me. I hate how I forgot that he’s the biggest GOOD THING in my life. If lose that then…I don’t know what I’ll do.
“Cora?”
I knew that voice, the one from behind us.
“Guys, this doesn’t look the most professional,” Marie hedged.
I closed my eyes briefly and exhaled. Time for damage control. I turned my chair to swivel towards her. Neither my face nor my tone were welcoming.
“It’s not. I have been helping him with something but we’ve reconnected. Talking through some of our issues,” I said carefully. I kept calm but my voice was flatter than I’d liked.
“Oh.” Her voice wavered. “You kinda gave me the impression that it wasn’t a fixable thing.”
“Turns out I’m a deeply repressed person who has issues vocalizing their problems with another. Also, apparently I’m prideful?”
Dae nodded. I could tell he wanted the interruption about as much as he wanted his hooves pulled off. I didn’t want it either. I certainly hadn’t thought we’d reconcile as much as we had.
Marie looked nervous, shifting onto her other foot. “Listen, Amy was wondering when you’d be back to work.”
I frowned. “She has my schedule. There haven’t been any changes and I wasn’t scheduled Saturday, Sunday or Monday.”
Damien noticed the change in my voice and put his drink down. “We’re past normal business hours. She hasn’t done anything wrong.”
There was a bit of steel in his voice, just enough to cause her eyes to widen.
“Oh. OK, I’m sorry. Just wondering. I’ll leave you guys be.” She turned. “Damien, you could have just said you were seeing someone else.”
I groaned.
“We’re friends, Marie!” I called as she stalked out.
“Whatever,” she glowered.
I flopped my head backward, dragging my hands over my face.
“I thought I left this shit in high school,” I bemoaned.
“She’s just a kid. I don’t think she’s going to do anything drastic.” Damien put down his beer, eyeing me.
