Page 73 of Bend Him, Break Him
“I would never!”
Coach Wilson reassured Colton that the team had his back, but the longer Colton sat there listening to the strategy planon how to handle this situation, the more he realized it didn’t involve him. He recalled the laughter in the locker room as Leon taunted him. The players who jumped in, not to stop the fight but to get a few hits in themselves. Colton dwelled on everything he’d worked on his entire life as far back as he could remember. Six years old and playing little league with a dream of going pro. Now, it had crumbled away, and he didn’t believe there was a goddamn thing he could do to change it.
Unable to attend practice and uninterested in going home, Colton wandered campus, sticking mostly to back parking lots, empty trails, areas not filled with students. He had too much pent-up frustration, confusion, fear, paranoia, hatred, anger, and a thousand other feelings that bombarded him with every step. Soon, Colton was running, sprinting away his energy while hoping to escape these overwhelming feelings that haunted his every thought.
“Colton!” someone shouted.
He ignored it.
“Colton!” they called again.
He ran faster.
If someone tried to ask him questions or offer him comfort, he’d break. If someone tried to mock him, to joke about his pain, he’d break them. So, he did the only thing he could—he ran, ignoring the voice.
“Colton, wait!” they called again. This time, their voice was hoarse, familiar in its gruffness.
He turned to find a red-faced Isaac chasing him.
“What’re you doing?”
“Looking for you,” Isaac wheezed. “I’ve been trying to get ahold of you since I…”
The pause indicated that he wasn’t sure how much Colton knew.
“I’ve seen the video.”
“What happened is awful—”
“I know, which is why I need space.”
“I have a meeting with the dean.”
“I might, too.” Colton shrugged. “Forgot my phone.”
Not that he wanted to look at it.
“How are you handling this?”
“I’m not.” Colton ground his teeth.
“I’m here for you.”
“I need space from you, too.”
“Are you blaming me?”
“No. But we weren’t exactly careful. Yes, this happened in my room, but let’s be honest, it could’ve been anywhere. It could’ve been because I’ll do anything anywhere for you.”
“And that’s on me?”
“No. Don’t twist this to make me feel like shit. I already feel like shit,” Colton snapped. “It’s hard enough not to think you had something to do with this.”
“What?”
“Logically, I know this is Leon. There’s no one else who would want to do this. He’s the only person who wants to ruin me. Who has wanted to ruin me since he got here. But then there’s this tiny little paranoid thought in the back of my head that just keeps screaming that’s not true.”
Isaac listened intently, giving Colton his undivided attention, which made the words difficult for Colton to form, but he had to. There was so much pain eating away at him, so much fearand paranoia and doubt. Speaking it helped purge some of the poison seeped in his soul.
