Page 19 of My Orc Contract Husband
Risking a peek at him, I admitted, “He wanted me to marry his business partner when I turned twenty-three. It was supposed to solidify their partnership and make their empire stronger.”
A muscle worked in Tarkhan’s jaw as he stared at my hairline. Why wasn’t he meeting my eyes?
“You didn’t marry him?” he finally ground out.
I hurried to assure him. “It was one of the reasons I left. Why I’ve been hiding all these years.”
The noise he made might have been of understanding, and I watched him visibly shake himself, then offer me a tight grin. “Then I’m glad. I’m glad you left, and you found your way here to Eastshore. To m?—”
He bit down on whatever he’d been about to say.
To my island.
To mollusks?
To…me?
When I inhaled, I smelled him, and swayed toward him.Was it my imagination, or did he pull me closer, leaning down…? I swallowed, my gaze focused on his lips.
“I must sound…” My tongue darted over my lips, and I realized I was burbling. “I must sound spoiled and foolish to you, who left your own world for far braver and nobler reasons.”
Something shuttered in his gaze, and he abruptly pulled back and glanced over my head. “My reasons weren’t brave or noble. I was running away, the same as you.”
He was?
My hand was resting on his chest. When had it landed there? Now that I was aware of it, I struggled to figure out what to do with it. Should I move it? Close my fingers around his shirt? Pat him?
“What were you running away from, Tarkhan?”
His gaze dropped to mine again and his lips curled—not kindly, but wryly, as if he were laughing at himself. “My own shame. I was running from my shame, Sami, and if somehow I got word now that my mother was dead, I would mourn her as deeply as I would have back then.” His voice dropped to a whisper as he turned his head away. “As deeply as I mourned her when I crossed through the veil to your world.”
Oh.
In that moment, I’d forgotten all about my father or his legacy. All I saw was Tarkhan’s pain at these memories. I didn’t have to think about what to do with my hand; the fingers curled around his shirt of their own volition, and my other hand rose to his shoulder, pulling him closer.
“I’m so sorry, Tarkhan. Here I am, blathering on about my complicated feelings, and you’re obviously still in pain for your own losses.”
His lips twisted again, in a rueful smile that looked all wrong on him, and he still didn’t meet my eyes. “I didn’t tell you that to pity me, honey.”
“I don’t pity you, well, okay, I think it’s heartbreaking you had to make that decision.”
“It wasn’t my decision.” This time, when his gaze swung back to mine, I saw anger flash in his eyes before it was chased away by an unnatural blankness. “Despite everything, I would have stayed and faced my shame, if I’d been allowed to. But the elderstoldme I’d be among the group crossing through the veil, and I knew I’d never see my mother again.”
Oh myGod.
My hold on him tightened, and my throat was thick when I whispered, “I’m sorry. That’s horrible. I can see how you must think even worse of me, who chose to leave her family…”
“My family cut me off because ofmyshame, Sami.” Tarkhan blew out a breath, and his hand, which had been holding the outside of my thigh, rose to brush a piece of hair from my forehead. “Yourfather’sshameful actions were the reasonsyouleft, and I’m glad for it.”
Unable to help myself, I pressed my shoulder against his, trying to snuggle closer. “My pain seems insignificant compared to yours.”
“Don’t ever say that,” he ordered, his big hand cupping my cheek and the back of my neck in one hold. “You arestrong and brave and capable, and you did what was necessary to protect yourself. It’s not a contest, honey, and I’m damned proud of you for what you did.”
His words made me smile. How could I not? My cheek pressed against his palm, but he didn’t move his hand, and I liked that. I liked that he was so unflappable and strong.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“Now…” He took a deep breath, then cocked his head to listen to the sound of the rain on the roof. “I was going to give you this later when we were done, just because it’s not my business, and I didn’t want to distract you. But since we’re having this conversation, and since we’re stuck here for a bit…”
