Page 18 of My Orc Contract Husband
“Sami!” He sounded worried. “Breathe, honey.”
I wasn’t breathing? Shaking my head, I tried to suck in a breath, but only managed a little gasp.
“Okay, okay.” His arms were around me once more, and he swept me toward the bench. “It’s okay, Sami, I’m here.” He settled down, pulling me down with him, his arms around me.
Warm.
Safe.
I was sitting on Tarkhan’s lap, with the sound of the rain all around us.Safe.
My breathing slowly returned to normal.
“That’s it,” he murmured, one large hand on my back, tucking my head beneath his chin. “Just breathe, Sami.”
“I’m sorry,” I sobbed, and yes, it was a sob. When had I started crying?
More of the same tears from yesterday and the day before—fear, not sorrow. But now? Right now, I felt safe and protected, not afraid. What was happening to me?
“It’s okay, honey. Just let it out. You don’t have to be strong anymore.”
Oh God, how did he know all the right things to say? The tears came harder, and I burrowed my face against his chest and focused on inhaling. InhalingTarkhan. Wood shavings and his detergent and a deodorant that smelled like sandalwood.
It was his hand on my back, his warmth, and his scent which eventually helped calm my panic and even out my breathing. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled against his chest.
“It really is okay, Sami. You don’t have to explain anything.”
Except I wanted to. I pulled back just enough to speak, but not enough that he’d think I wanted to be released. “My father died. That’s what was in that black leather folio the courier gave me on Monday.”
He’d frozen, and now his breath released on a long, controlled exhale. “I’m sorry, honey. It must have been devastating to lose someone unexpectedly.”
Honey. That’s what he’d called me before, and I admit I liked it. But I had to remember that everything I’d seen and heard about Tarkhan was that he’d had alotof “honeys” over the last decade. He likely called anyone with two X chromosomes “honey,” right?
So I took a deep breath and forced myself a little more upright. “We were estranged,” I admitted, staring at his shoulder. “It’s been six years since I spoke to him, and it was my choice.”
“Oh.” His hand began to move again, a slow, comforting stroke up and down my back. “Then I’m still sorry. Iknow what it’s like to lose family, even if they’re still alive.”
He’d left his entire family behind when he’d come to our world, but it wasn’t the same. I twisted to look up at him, trying to make him understand. “He was a horrible father, and a bad man. He only wanted to use me to get more for himself. I don’t regret cutting myself out of his life.”
Tarkhan studied me as he continued to rub my back gently. His dark eyes flickered across my face, lingering on my lips, then my right temple. Finally, he nodded. “I can see why that courier said he’d been looking for you for a while. And I can imagine his death would’ve been an even bigger shock if you were estranged. What are you feeling right now? Regret or guilt?”
I blinked, surprised at the question.
Regret or guilt?
What made him guess those two responses? I shook my head and blurted the first thing on my mind. “Fear, mostly.”
He reared back, lips curling from his tusks as he repeated, “Fear, Sami?”
And I hurried to explain. “That folio made me his heir. I don’twantto be his heir. I don’t want to have to go back to his world and be in charge of his empire.”
“Ah,” he murmured, his shoulders relaxing once more. “So these tears aren’t necessarily for your father.”
I winced and ducked my head again, not bearing to meet his eyes. “Does that make me horrible?” I whispered.
In the time it took him to respond, I shrank in on myself. He thought I was terrible—not just a terrible daughter, but a bad person too. He’d left his family behind, and here I was, not even mourning for my father, but formyself. He thought I was selfish.
“Any male who would force you to do something you don’t want to do in order to further his own goals is probably not worth mourning,” he finally said, and I felt a tiny spark of hope that he could see things my way.
