Page 48 of My Orc Contract Husband
And yet, I couldn’t regret it.
How could I regret it?
You are worthy of pleasure, Tarkhan. You deserve happiness.
I closed my eyes, tipping my head back to face the steady stream of hot water from the shower, rememberingher words.
Remembering how those words tore down what little control I’d maintained, tore down the last of my self-punishment.
Sami had broken my control,had given me pleasure, and I wasn’t sure how I felt.
That was the first time I’d come since Torrah’s death, and despite Sami’s words, I still don’t think I deserved it. But she was my wife, and she’d insisted I did. After half a lifetime of denying myself and focusing on bringing pleasure to others, I suppose I could understand Sami’s need to do such a thing for me.
But…now what? Who was I? I was no longer filled with guilt, no longer filled with pent-up frustration. Sami had removed that.
Now I was…empty. Wrung out.
I turned off the water and reached for my towel. My towel, which Sami had hung beside hers. My shampoo was in her—our?—shower, and my shaving kit was in the second drawer. This was my home now, at least for another forty-nine weeks…and she was my wife.
Standing in the doorway, I watched my wife sleep.
And realized that yeah, I felt empty now, but Sami was slowly filling me up.
This marriage was supposed to be temporary. But after letting her in…how was I supposed to let her go?
I was standing at the window, staring over the backyard, not really seeing anything, when I felt her wake. Was that strange? I’d never experienced that before, knowing when someone woke up, but I couldn’t deny it. Amoment later, I heard her pad into the bathroom, heard her readying herself.
And when she joined me in the living room, I felt her then, too.
“Good morning,” she murmured, snaking her arms around me and pressing herself to my back.
This was how she’d stood last night, only she was dressed today. My lips twisting a little ruefully, I reached around to pull her to my side so I could wrapmyarms around her as well. “Good morning. This is where you belong.”
When she hummed and pressed her cheek to my chest, I saw she was wearing that T-shirt with the acronym I didn’t know. “How do you feel this morning?” she asked.
I considered, then sighed. “I don’t know. What you did for me?—”
“Was one of the most incredible experiences in my life,” she was quick to interrupt. When I glanced down, she was glaring up at me fiercely. “I’ve never brought someone else pleasure before, Tarkhan—I mean, I’ve never made anyone orgasm. Oh, you know what I mean!” she huffed. “My point is it was powerful. It made me feel…special.”
Oh gods below, I could understand that. It’s how I’d felt for the last decade. It was all I’d had; all I’d allowed myself to have. So I bent to kiss her forehead. “That’s because youarespecial,dkaar.”
“What does that mean?”
I hesitated. “Beloved.”
And her response was immediate. “Well, I like it better thanhoney. You called all your lovershoney, didn’t you?” She squeezed my middle. “You call me that when you’re getting standoffish.”
Did I? I smiled, amazed that this female knew me so well already.
“A few more weeks, and that maple will start to turn.”
Surprised by her non sequitur, I followed her gaze to the lone maple tree along the back fence. “Oh. In Bramblewood, the maples would all be yellow and red and orange by this point.”
“But we’re much warmer here.” She nodded to the two large shade trees. “Those are live oaks, different than the oaks out west. They lose their leaves in the spring and drop about a million acorns each fall. I love to sit out on the back porch with my coffee when the mornings start getting chilly, watching the squirrels go nuts over them.”
That sounded…really nice. Peaceful. “Nuts over the nuts, huh?”
Sami’s response was herI heard your joke, and it wasn’t funny, but I’m acknowledging itsnort, and my lips twitched again.
