Page 44 of Only You
I can see in his eyes that he wants to believe me, but he doesn’t totally. And I can’t blame him.
I brush my hand over his cheek and give him what I hope is a reassuring smile. “I promise you I’m not going anywhere. I was so scared to admit to you—or anyone—what happened. I thought it was my fault.”
“It wasn’t.” He says it so adamantly, it sends a distinct shiver down my spine. It makes me sit up a little straighter and turn my body to face him.
“I know,” I say quietly, willing myself to believe it through and through. “But I wasn’t ready to deal with it then.”
“I’m so sorry I push—” I cover his mouth with my hand to stop him from saying he pushed me.
“You didn’t. You were trying to be there for me. You wanted to make it better, but I wasn’t ready for it to be better. I wasn’t ready for it to be okay. And that’s on me, not on you. You were the best friend I ever had.”
He shakes his head with my hand still over his mouth, so I slowly drop it, though I’m fully prepared to argue with him. “I should have done more.”
My sweet, sweet man. I stroke his cheek with my hand and then drop it to his thigh. “No. You couldn’t have. I wasn’t ready. But I promise you, I may never be completely healed—or even okay—but I will not ever push you away.”
I watch his throat bob as he swallows the information and then gives a quick nod. “I...” My eyes widen, surprise already ripping through my insides because I just feel what he’s going to say.
He loves me. I’m ready for him to say it. I want him to say it.
“I like this part of the movie.”
It takes me a moment to realize what he said, my brow crinkling as I look over at the television, where some innocent teen is being stalked by Micheal Myers, and then back at him. He looks a little green—like maybe that’s not what he meant to say, and I nod, settling into his arms again and watching the television, holding myself a little stiffly.
Maybe I misread that whole thing. Or maybe he just isn’t ready to say it or hear it. I don’t know. I try not to be disappointed as we sit there and watch the movie until Braylen,Kellan, and Phillip return, but that sinking feeling in my gut remains.
Even as we go back to my house and kick off our shoes. He’s stayed the night with me quite a bit since our first date, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling nervous standing by my front door, unsure of what’s about to happen.
Does he love me?
Am I too much for him?
“Remy?” His voice pulls me from my thoughts, and I look up at him just as he reaches for my chin. “Are you okay?”
I nod my head, reaching for him and running my fingers through the back of his hair. “I am.”
I bring him down to my mouth, guiding his lips to mine, and he kisses me sweetly, his mouth brushing slowly over mine. It’s tender and sweet, but soon enough, it’s just not enough.
I need him naked and in my bed. I want him in all the ways.
“Tatum . . .” I start when I pull back.
“Yeah?” He looks worried, his lips all puffy from our brief kiss and his eyes full of concern.
“I need to taste you.”
His mouth falls open slightly, his pupils dilating as his head nods in slow motion. “Yes.”
I grin and take his hand, leading him to my big comfortable bed. I want to take my time with him. So I do. I slowly slip his shirt off over his head, my fingers dragging over every bit of ink—and there’s so much.
Each piece starting and ending in a story that Tatum may have meant for only him to know, but I understand. My fingertips drag over the rigid muscles beneath. He removes my shirt, but my hands instantly go back to his warm skin.
I lean up and in, kissing his neck and down over his collarbone. He allows me to explore him, kissing over his skin and down over each nipple. He gasps when I suck one into mymouth, teasing the tight nub with my tongue, then licking down between his abs to his bellybutton.
I lower myself to my knees, going to the button on his jeans and flicking it open. “Oh God, Remy. Need you so bad.”
I smile at his dreamy-sounding voice and lower the zipper, being careful with his bulging package underneath. Slowly I lower his jeans and underwear, freeing his hard, throbbing cock as I take it into my hand. He kicks his jeans and underwear off as I start to stroke him teasingly.
“Everything about you is perfect,” I marvel at his length and girth, my hand wrapped carefully around it.
