Page 34 of Only You
“Thanks. It’s just a date,” I say, feeling a little uncomfortable now because nerves are settling in. I need this to go well, I realize.
Phillip seems to be zeroing in on me now, his eyes telling me he wants to dig deeper like the social worker he is, but he keeps quiet until after dinner. The kids all get ready for bed and go into their own rooms, leaving Phillip, Kellan, and me in the living room.
“So? Nervous?” Phillip starts out, and it annoys me just how good he is at reading people. This is why I don’t like social workers, damn it. They’re nosey as fuck.
I shrug. “I’ve been out on dates before.”
“This is with Remy though,” Kellan points out. “That’s a big deal.”
“I know it is,” I say a little defensively and then immediately soften my tone. “Yeah, I’m nervous. I don’t know if I’ve ever goneout with someone I cared this much about.” I push my hand through my hair and lean back into the couch. “No. I know I haven’t.” My eyes go straight to them both. “I’m scared shitless.”
“He’s going out on a date with you. That means something. He’s attracted to you too,” Phillip says.
“Can’t imagine why, but I think Phillip’s right,” Kellan teases.
I flip him off but smile. “He doesn’t date.”
“But he agreed to a date with you,” Kellan says firmly, like it’s significant.
“What if he just feels pressured to do that. What if he just doesn’t want to lose our friendship.” My stomach twists with the fear of it all.
“There are a lot of what-ifs in life,” Phillip starts, “But something tells me Remy wouldn’t have agreed to this date if he didn’t want to go. I think it’s a start to something really great.”
“Me too,” Kellan says with a sincere smile.
“What if I fuck it up?”
“Oh, you will for sure,” Kellan says with a devilish grin, and Phillip playfully smacks his shoulder and shakes his head, his eyes going straight to me.
“No. You won’t. You know him well. Take him on a date. Take it slow and easy. Have fun with it.”
I smile at that, thinking about every moment I spend with Remy. “That won’t be difficult. Everything with him is fun.”
“Jesus Christ, you have it bad,” Kellan jokes and gets another angry glare from his boyfriend.
“Shut up,” we both say in unison.
But he’s right.
That’s for damn sure.
I do have it bad.
Really fucking bad.
FOURTEEN
What was I thinking?
I can’t go on a date with Tatum.
This won’t end well. I don’t date. Anyone. I’ve made that very clear. I’ve set that rule in my life, and it’s worked really well.
But I want to go out on this date with Tatum. There’s no question about it. It’s been so easy to not date. To just hookup and then never think about these men ever again. But with Tatum?
As soon as he suggested a date, it was like butterflies were fluttering around in my entire body. Everything was tingly and hot. It’s all I wanted to do. I wanted to go on the date right then and there.
I knew I needed to tell him no, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t deny myself this chance, no matter how terrified I was.
