Page 29 of Only You
“I don’t want it to define me,” she says, her chin lifted up high, and I admire the girl. There’s no other way to describe it. She’s incredible.
“Then talk to someone. Please. Anyone. Everyone. Be loud and use your voice wherever you choose to. I’ll have your back.” I nod my head in the direction of the door. “And you have quite a few people in your corner.”
She actually smiles. “Do you talk to someone?”
I clear my throat uncomfortably and then decide to be totally honest. “No. I put up blocks a long time ago. Sometimes, it feels like it’s too late for me, you know?”
She shakes her head. “It’s not. Tatum really cares about you.”
My mind flashes to the other night and the way he looked at me. How hurt he looked when he thought I didn’t want him to kiss me. “I care about him, but... there are just some things I have a really hard time dealing with. I never got help, but I think it would be great for you to talk to the counselor at school.”
I can tell she wants to call me on my bullshit—knowing I’m changing the subject, but she just sighs. “I don’t want everyone to know I’m going to the counselor.”
I think that over for a moment and totally get that. “How about I talk to Felicia about the situation—not giving her any details, of course—but just let her know that you need to talk to her outside of school. Maybe she can meet you for coffee or something. I can drive you, or Kellan can. It’s unorthodox,but not unheard of. It’ll still be through the school, just notatschool.”
“You really think the school counselor wants to work after hours for me?”
I nod my head instantly. “I know she will. Felicia is incredible and kind of a bleeding heart. She’ll be thrilled to help.”
She smirks, her lips pursing as she bobs her head in an affirmative motion. “Okay. I guess that would be okay.”
I stand up from my seat, relief washing over me. “Good. I’ll have her call Kellan and set something up, okay?”
“Okay,” she says, standing from the bed also. “But if I do this, you have to do something for me.”
Damn. So close.
“What?” I ask, oh so carefully.
“You need to stop pushing Tatum away. He’s a good man, and I think he’s in love with you.”
An audible gasp leaves my mouth as I stare at her. “What? No. We aren’t like that. We’re friends, and Tatum is straight.” Even though he did apparently want to kiss me, and maybe he isn’t so straight after all, but I don’t say that out loud.
She just scoffs and rolls her eyes in a way that only a teenager can truly pull off. “Right. So was my brother. I don’t know what happened between you two, and I don’t really want to know. But what I do know is something happened to make him not so happy lately. And I don’t like it.”
I want to deny I had anything to do with that, but Raegan isn’t stupid, and I’m not a liar.
“I don’t know if I can ever talk about what happened to me.”
“If I can, you can. And I think you should give Tatum more credit than you do. He isn’t going to judge you.”
A lump forms in my throat, and I want to cry but don’t. “It makes it real.”
She nods, already knowing what I mean. “If I do it, you should do it too.”
I look into her eyes and see she’s not backing down. Just like I wouldn’t leave her alone to wallow, she isn’t going to leave me behind either. “Deal,” I say, and she holds out her hand for me to shake it, which I do.
Well, this certainly backfired now, didn’t it?
TWELVE
Okay, how to not mess this up?
I have no idea. I feel like I’ve been treading lightly since that night I wanted to kiss him—since I foolishly let him know that I really wanted to kiss him. But he didn’t want that.
Doesn’t want me that way.
I know that it maybe, probably, isn’t even about me—that it has a lot to do with his past. But I can’t stop thinking about it now that it’s out there. What if he gave it a chance? What could we be?
