Page 49 of Only You
“You mean the conversation that wasn’t about topping at all, but your weird ass somehow made into me being a top?” I love this side of Remy, I gotta say. It’s light and fun—not that I don’t love the vulnerable and real parts of him either. I love every single side of Remy Valentine.
“Yeah that,” I say with a grin, nuzzling into his neck again, starting to kiss him there softly.
“What about it?” He tilts his head back, giving me better access to his neck.
“Is that true? You like to top?”
He freezes and then lowers his head, moving to pull away from me so when I sit up, we’re looking right at each other. “I haven’t ever...”
“Topped?”
He shakes his head, and I notice the fun carefree moment seems to have morphed into him looking nervous. That wasn’t my intention at all.
“It’s okay if you don’t like... I mean, I guess sex isn’t the right word, even though that’s what I was going to say. But what we’ve done already, that has to qualify as sex, right? I mean, it’s been mind-blowing as fuck.”
His lips pull up slightly instead of the nervous line they were in a moment ago. “It has been. And yeah, I’d qualify that as sex.”
I nod, knowing I’m likely not explaining myself well. Thankfully, Remy seems to know I’m struggling to find the right words.
“I like all kinds of sex, Tatum. I just...”
“You can tell me anything,” I say, hoping he knows I mean it. We already had the awkwardI’ve been testedtalk right after my very first time performing a blowjob—something I think I excel at, by the way. Though practice makes perfect, and I have definitely improved. But this is kind of the same as that.
We’re adults. We should both be able to talk about the fact that our test results are negative and that we’ve always used condoms. And what we like in the bedroom. I don’t want to cross any lines, but I’m dying to take that next step with him.
If he wants that.
“I’ve never bottomed before.”
Oh.Ohhhhh.That’s why he looks nervous. He thinks I want to be inside him—which, yeah, I’d love that, if he ever decides he wants that—but that’s not what I was going for tonight. “Oh, but you top?”
He nods his head slowly, studying me as if I’m not quite getting something. “I have... yes...”
I lean in, brushing my lips over his. “So you’d maybe want to top me?”
He jerks back, his eyes wide and his mouth agape. His eyes are unsure. “You want that?”
“More than anything,” I confirm. “I can’t think about anything else. Shit, I’ve thought about meeting my prostate since you told me it was a thing.”
He lets out a startled laugh at that, licking his lips, and his gaze intense. “I can definitely help you with that.”
“Yeah?” Excitement races through me, and I stand up grabbing his hand with awhoopbefore pulling him back toward his bedroom.
“You really do want this?” He sounds bewildered by that, and I’m already stripping out of my clothes as soon as we reach the bedroom. I nearly trip and fall, using the wall to brace myself as I pull my pants and underwear off. Kicking them away excitedly.
“Why wouldn’t I?” I turn to see him sitting, still fully clothed, on the bed. “Remy?”
I ignore the fact that I’m totally naked now and sit next to him on the bed.
“Why wouldn’t I want this?”
He turns his head to look at me, in a bit of a daze. “You were straight.”
“Apparently not,” I say, keeping my smile light because I need him to know how serious I am about us. About this. About him. Only him. I make jokes, and I make light of things in the world as a coping mechanism, but when it comes to him—I don’t have to cope.
I just want to exist with him. Be with him. Love him.
“You’re sure about this? Even if I can never return the favor?”
