Page 32 of Only You
He starts to quiet, pulling back a little and wiping at his face. Sniffling, he looks at me. “I wanted you to kiss me, Tatum, but I couldn’t let it happen. I’m broken. Still to this day, I’m broken. I set up rules because I don’t want to get close to anyone. And you can’t tell me you’d want to stop at a kiss.”
“No. I wouldn’t.” He swallows hard and nods, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “I want so much more than kissing. I want you, Remy. I want a life with you. I want to go on dates and vacations. I want to live together and spend the rest of our lives together.”
His jaw actually drops, and it would be funny if the moment wasn’t so heavy because even though I didn’t mean to say all that, it doesn’t mean that I’m not totally serious. I want all of that.
“You aren’t even interested in men.”
“I’m not,” I confirm. “But I’m interested inyou,” I say honestly, my hand brushing his cheek gently. “Only you.”
His eyes close, and he looks pained. “I don’t date, Tatum. I didn’t leave hope or room in my heart for anything you just described. I told myself I wouldn’t get close to anyone again.”
“Look at me, Remy.” He doesn’t move for a moment, but then his eyes slowly open and lock on mine. “You know, deep down, I’d never hurt you. Maybe you were waiting for me too.”
“This is crazy,” he says, sniffling and wiping at his face, still in total shock. “We’re friends. You’re straight.”
I want more than anything to lean in and kiss him, to show him just how unbothered I am by thatstraightthing, but I won’tdo that. “I want to be more. If you don’t, that’s okay. It really is. I’ll be your friend for the rest of our lives, no matter what. But if you want to try for more, just know that’s what I want. I want to try.”
His eyes shift, searching mine. For what, I’m not sure. He looks like he’s looking for an impossible answer. “How do we try?”
A small smile tugs at my mouth, but I’m too afraid to get too excited just yet. “You agree to go out on a date with me.”
“A date?” he asks, looking slightly amused.
“Yes. A date. Officially.”
“It would be my first.”
“I’m happy to be your first,” I say, resisting, yet again, that urge to kiss his sweet lips. “I won’t kiss you until you ask me to, but know this, Remy,”—I lean in, whispering into his ear— “if that time comes, it’s going to be the best kiss of both our lives. And I can’t fucking wait.”
I feel his body shudder against mine as he lets out a shaky breath, his head slowly nodding.
“A date. Okay.”
It feels like a victory.
But the stakes are higher than ever, and I don’t know if I should be elated or terrified.
I’m pretty sure I’m both.
THIRTEEN
I have a date with Remy. Tomorrow night.
A real date.
I honestly didn’t think I’d ever be going out on a first date again, let alone with a man. But themanpart I’ve found just isn’t a big deal to me. Not at all. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen how easily Kellan fell in love with Phillip and never questioned it.
Maybe it’s just that I’ve always felt some sort of connection to Remy.
I don’t really know. And I’m not really worried about that part. What I’m worried about is screwing this all up. Remy doesn’t date. Remy doesn’t kiss. And he’s agreed to a real date with me.
I meant what I said. I won’t kiss him or even try unless he gives me the go-ahead, but that hasn’t stopped me from imagining what it would feel like to press my mouth against his. Would he take control? Or would he let me have the control? Would it be a battle?
A shiver runs down my spine, thinking about all the possibilities. And I try to get a grip before I knock on the front door of Kellan and Phillip’s house. Phillip yanks the door open,and I already see Braylen buzzing around in the living room before darting down the hall. I can tell he’s been a handful this evening, and it makes me chuckle when Phillip sighs, shaking his head. “You don’t have to knock. You have a key.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I say, waving him off and walking into the house. I don’t see the teenagers of the house, but I see Kieran sitting on the couch, reading on his Kindle. “Where’s everyone else?”
Phillip closes the door behind me, then follows me into the living room. “Raegan is hiding in her room. Kellan and Cason went to grab pizza for dinner.”
