Page 12 of Only You
I was covered in filth and looking around at the bunk beds that were situated in the large room the social worker had brought me to when I noticed Tatum. I was only nine, almost ten, way too small for my age, malnourished, and just small in stature. And there was thirteen-year-old Tatum.
He was huge. I didn’t know he was thirteen until we talked later. I thought he was an adult at first but then came to realize he was just another kid like me. Stuck in a home where he didn’t want to be. He was watching me closely that day, andfor whatever reason, that made me tilt my chin up and lift my shoulders—a smile I didn’t feel taking over my face.
I didn’t want to appear weak. I didn’t want to look scared. I held my head high, and then as soon as the social worker was gone, it was Tatum who scooped me up under his wing and showed me around. He told me it was going to be okay.
No one messed with me as soon as he was at my side. I felt safe and protected for the first time in my life.
Because he was there.
“What are you doing here?” I ask him, the smile overtaking my face at just seeing him here in my office.
“I thought you could use some lunch.” He doesn’t move from his spot in the doorway though, waiting for my permission.
I wave him in immediately. “That’s so thoughtful of you. Lunch would be great.”
He walks into my office, his body large yet somehow graceful as he moves to the chair across from me, sitting down and then handing me one of the sodas. He shuffles through the bag, handing me a sub sandwich. “I wasn’t sure what you would want or what vegetarians eat, so I just got you a veggie sub.”
I grin, taking the sandwich from him. “That’s perfect. Thank you.” My heart warms, thinking about him caring enough about me not eating meat.
“Hey, you fed me last night. Had to repay the favor. Though I can’t cook, even if my life depended on it.”
“But you order subs like nobody’s business, right?” I say, unwrapping the sandwich.
He winks at me, and my heart nearly seizes up in my chest. And it barely recovers in time to watch him open his mouth and take a monstrous bite of his sub. His mouth, like the rest of him, is just massive, and I become entranced in watching him eat for far too long. When he realizes I’m not eating and watching him, he stops. “What’s the matter? Is it okay?”
I startle a little at being caught staring but try to recover, bringing the sandwich up to my mouth with shaky hands. “Nothing. Sorry.”
He shrugs it off, taking another bite and chewing before nodding toward the phone on my desk. “That call seemed a little intense.”
I take a bite and groan at the taste of fresh homemade bread and fresh veggies. I chew carefully and then take a drink to wash it down. “That’s just a typical Tuesday around here.”
He grins, taking another bigass bite and chewing. “Can’t imagine dealing with teenagers all day. I love Cason and Rae, but there’s no way in hell I could do that.”
I smile at his admission of love for those kids. Though I could already see it at dinner the other night. “I mostly love it. The worst part, I swear, is dealing with the parents.”
“I can see that,” he says, his eyes gleaming, and I get lost in them for a second. I’ve known I was gay for quite some time—my awakening sitting right here in front of me. It was painfully awkward when I was going through puberty—getting shuffled around from home to home, not really knowing who the hell I was or who I even wanted to be. And then Tatum showed up in my life again—looking like a god. I’d never felt attraction like that before. I’d felt fondness from him since the day I met him, but this was something different.
Something I didn’t quite understand and something I didn’t dare speak about. By that time, Tatum had a lot of girlfriends and had no problem talking openly about the girls he dated. I wasn’t sure how he’d respond if he knew I’d never once experienced attraction around a female but that I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like if he would kiss me.
That was during the brief time we were in the same home and were in the same school, so I got to see a lot of him. Even when he was moved to another house, we went to the same school. Butthen I had to change schools when they moved me to a home in another district and soon after that, my life changed forever.
We finish up lunch, and I’m already feeling the dread coming for me as he prepares to leave. I think he must be feeling it too because as he throws away his trash, he looks over at me curiously. “It’s been really good to get to know you again, Remy.”
I swallow hard, emotions swamping me because I wanted to forget about him but never have. I always wondered if he was okay. I wanted this chance, and now it seems like I have it. “It has been. I’m glad we ran into each other again,” I say honestly.
“Me too.” I like how confident he is, but I hear a hint of insecurity as he leans on the edge of my desk, facing me. “What are you doing tonight? Wanna get together?”
Yes.
Immediately, my answer is yes, but then I remember a prior... commitment.
“Um . . . Oh. I want to . . .”
His face falls immediately, and it’s almost too endearing. Tatum is this huge, muscled, tattooed guy, but he wears his emotions right there in his expression. Always has. I think it’s why I was never actually afraid of him. “You already have plans.”
It’s not a question, but I nod anyway. “Yeah, um, sort of. I do tonight. Yeah.”Wow, stumble through words more, why don’t you, Remy?
He looks almost shy now when he asks, “Like a date?”
