Page 56 of Wulf's Pack
I grimace. “I mean, one moment I’m standing there talking to a stranger, and the next I’ve shifted right out of my clothes and claimed them before anyone can figure out what’s going on. I’ve tried to stop my wolf every time, but I can’t. He’s determined, and his will is stronger than mine. It’s like I’m in the back seat. I only regain control when he lets me. I haven’t lost control like that since I was a pup.”
Alpha Grant is silent for a minute. He takes long enough to speak that I start to worry he doesn’t have any answers for me. Finally, he asks a question. “You said this started four days ago? I haven’t heard anything about a bonding ceremony. You’d think the news would have been all over that, as much as they follow your clan around.”
I shift uncomfortably and cast a questioning glance at Skylar. She gives me a small nod. “There hasn’t been a bonding ceremony. We only met four days ago. We’re fated mates.”
“True mates?” Luna Grant gasps. “That’s incredible! You’re sure?”
Both Skylar and I nod. “The bond isn’t complete yet, but it snapped into place the moment we saw each other. It wasn’t fifteen minutes later that I nearly claimed my first wolves. The only reason I managed to hold back that time is because they were rogues who’d broken the rules of a fair challenge and jumped me after I’d beaten their alpha. I talked my wolf out of claiming them because they were dishonorable. The first time I came across decent wolves, I claimed the whole family on the spot.”
Luna Grant gives me a sympathetic smile. “Is it so bad to have a pack? It’s their choice too. You can’t force a pack bond.”
“No, you’re right. They had the choice to accept, but I didn’t have the choice to extend the offer. I’m a lone wolf. I’ve never wanted a pack, and I’m not prepared for one. I have no housing, no territory, no leadership skills.”
“That’s not true,” Skylar says. “You’re a great leader.”
“A great leader with no control over his beast?” I meet Alpha Grant’s eyes. “My wolf is not going about this the proper way. He’s claiming strangers instantly. And he’s not picky as to species. I’ve got a bear, a cougar, and now a pair of hawks. One of these times, some shifter is going to take great offense, and it’ll be a nasty fight. Plus, having no control of my wolf is a huge weakness. I have an omega to protect, and I’m constantly in the spotlight. If the news gets wind of my issues with my wolf, every pack in the country will be on my doorstep issuing me challenges over my mate.”
Alpha Grant sits back, folds his arms across his chest, and mulls over my situation. I wait. I’m desperate for any kind ofsolution. Admitting my problem out loud has only heightened my sense of urgency.
“It sounds like you and your wolf are not in agreement on this issue,” he says thoughtfully.
I thought that was obvious. “We’re out of sync for the first time I can ever remember.”
Alpha Grant nods, expecting this answer. “As shifters, we have two sides: our human side and our animal side. Each side has instincts. For some things, like logic, our human side is stronger, but there are a few areas where our animal instincts outweigh our human instincts. When it comes to protecting our mate, our animal will win out every time.”
I try to stay patient, but I know all this.
“What you have to understand about omegas is that they need pack bonds to stay healthy. The more pack bonds, the stronger and happier the omega will be. On a primal level, your wolf knows this. He’s doing what he needs to do to take care of his mate. If you truly are fated, then I’m afraid you were always destined to lead a pack.”
My stomach sinks at this. I know it’s too late, that I’ve already started a pack and now I’m stuck with it, but somehow knowing Skylar needs one makes it feel even more permanent. “If I was destined for a pack, why do I feel so inadequate? Why am I fighting it so hard? Why does the thought of leading terrify me?”
I can’t believe I just asked that out loud.
“Those are questions only you can answer,” Alpha Grant says. “But I can tell you this: You have to get over it.”
The words are blunt and hit with a gut punch.
“Your wolf is taking control because he doesn’t trust you to do what needs to be done to take care of your mate. You have to prove yourself worthy to him and earn his trust. You have to find your acceptance and confidence.”
Great. Even my own wolf thinks I’m not strong enough.
“You and your wolf need to get on the same page. Your goals have to align with one another’s. Then he’ll stop taking control.”
“I can’t just roll over and give in to him. Claiming every shifter in sight isn’t the way to keep Skylar safe. A large pack and a stable pack are not the same thing.”
Alpha Grant’s lips curve into a small smile. “You’re more of a leader than you think,” he says. “You’re right. There’s more to a strong pack than just size. But your wolf runs on instinct. He doesn’t have your logic or intellect. You have to show him.”
I can see what he’s saying. Our intelligence and reasoning are why our human forms are our primary forms. I understand things my wolf can’t. My instincts for problem-solving are stronger than his. If I can prove I know better than he does, he’ll start to trust me again.
“You need to listen to him too.”
My eyes snap back to Alpha Grant. He lifts a brow and calmly holds my gaze. “Your wolf’s instincts aren’t wholly wrong. He knows better than you what your mate needs, on a basic level. He’s right that she needs a pack. He might not know the best way to build one, but if he’s that insistent, then there’s a reason for it. Work with him. Listen to him. Then show him you trust him and help him see you’re doing what you need to.”
There’s a long silence. It’s as if they’re all giving me time for Alpha Grant’s advice to sink in. I need it. There’s a lot to unpack in his speech.
After a minute, Luna Grant slaps her hands down on her thighs. “I think you need to see it to understand it better.”
I’m not sure what she means until she says, “When we learned you were coming, we called the pack to throw together a potluck dinner. Quinn will no doubt be in the thick of it.”
