Page 64 of Wulf's Pack
I can’t begrudge him his revenge, and if I hadn’t agreed to be allies with Samuel, I’d do everything in my power to help him. “Maybe Illren can hook him up with some people. Seems like something he’d have the resources for, and I’d bet Diego would rather not work with law enforcement. That would be better for us with not betraying Samuel too.”
I smirk at the side glance Bree slides me. I can tell she doesn’t know what to think of my relationship with the notorious assassin—most people can’t make sense of Illren’s loyalty to hisclan—but it’s also clear she’s amused. She doesn’t question me, so I spend the rest of the drive giving her the rundown of what we learned in Santa Fe.
When we get back home, I have to wake Skylar. She’s exhausted. She didn’t sleep much after I was tranqued and locked in a cell for my own good. After quick check-ins with everyone, I leave Ben and Isabella in Elise’s hands to get settled and take my mate to bed.
We’re quiet—a combination of exhaustion and contemplation—as we go through our nightly regimen. We’ve learned a lot and are both still processing everything. I’ve got the added stress of organizing, providing for, and protecting my new pack. It’s not until we slip into bed that I notice Skylar’s nerves. I’m ready to pass out, but I can’t leave my mate feeling anxious. I roll onto my side to face her and prop my head up on my elbow. “What is it, sweetheart?”
She turns to face me, tucking her hands under her chin. Her brow is creased, and she’s chewing on her lip. “Are we going to complete the mate bond?” she asks quietly, as if she doesn’t want to disturb the somber mood in the room.
Surprise, confusion, and a bit of heartache build up in my chest. How could she doubt that? “Of course we are. Don’t you want to?”
Her cheeks flush, and she looks down, breaking eye contact. “No, um…” She clears her throat. “I meant right now.”
My brows shoot up. I open my mouth to say something, but I have no idea what. I hadn’t expected that. She still won’t look at me, so I gently lift her chin. With effort, her eyes meet mine. “Is that what you want?” I ask carefully.
She swallows and wets her lips. I wait her out while she gathers her thoughts. “What happens?” she asks. “What do we have to do? Victor never explained, he just bit me and waited like something was supposed to happen.”
Every time I hear something new about Victor, I only want to destroy him more. Leaving her ignorant was cruel. We haven’t had any real time to dissect what she knows and what she doesn’t. She seems well-versed on her gifts and how to use them, but I don’t think she knows much about wolf shifters as a species. Our culture, our lore, our needs and instincts… All she knows is the greed and cruelty of her former pack.
Sighing, I tuck her hair behind her ear. “A mate bond is a beautiful thing. Think of how connected you feel to me right now. How we’re drawn to one another. We can sense each other’s emotions. I assume our connection will be much more intense once we complete the bond. People describe it as two souls fusing together to become one. Our hearts will beat in sync. Our emotions will be so deeply connected that our moods will influence one another. It will be hard to be away from each other. Our wolves will be at peace in a way they’ve never been.”
Skylar graces me with a small smile. “That sounds nice.”
For the first time in my life, I wholeheartedly agree. “Yeah. It does.”
“How do we do it? What happens? Do we have to…um…you know…?”
She closes her eyes and blushes again. It takes everything in me not to chuckle. She’s so cute, but she’s nervous and self-conscious right now. She doesn’t need me being an ass and teasing her.
I’m not sure what to say without scaring her. I can’t make out her thoughts. I can’t tell if she wants to or not. I sure as hell do. It’s practically all I can think about at the moment. As exhausted as I was five minutes ago, my body is fully awake now. I brush my thumb across her bottom lip and get a small thrill at her soft intake of breath. I want to kiss her so badly it hurts, but I don’t want to pressure her while we’re having this conversation. I don’t want her to think I expect anything.“Sex isn’t required,” I say. “But I’ve never heard of a mated pair who didn’t become intimate with each other almost immediately after, if not during.”
She gulps.
“To complete the mate bond, all we have to do is bite each other in human form hard enough to break the skin. It didn’t work with Victor because there’s magic in the intent. Our wolves have to want it. But when both sides are willing and ready, the magic takes hold of them immediately after the bites. The moment is intense, though. Mates will often lock themselves away from the world for a few days after they exchange bites. That’s why they usually have the mating ceremonies before they bond.”
She frowns, but it’s in thought, not from any negative emotion. “And a mating ceremony is like a wedding? Do all mates have one? Victor never mentioned anything about a ceremony. Is that when we exchange bites?”
“A mating ceremony is exactly like a wedding. Different vows, and a blessing from the moon goddess, but still, a wedding. We don’t exchange rings like the humans do because we’ll just lose them when we shift, but many couples choose to actually get married during the ceremony, so it’s legal and legitimate in the eyes of the government. The ceremony isn’t necessary, but most couples choose to have one. A mating is a joyous occasion, and most want to celebrate it with their packs and loved ones.
“And no, you don’t exchange bites at the ceremony.” I chuckle at the thought of people exchanging bites in front of their family and friends. That would be awkward, to say the least. “Completing the bond is a private thing. It’s very intimate. Sex isn’t necessary, but you should be prepared for the likeliness of it. The urge to become one physically after you’ve joined on a soul deep level might be too hard to resist. Especially with usbeing fated. I’m not actually sure how that will affect us, but my guess is it might make things even more intense.”
There’s a long pause between us while Skylar absorbs everything. She doesn’t turn her head away, but she’s not looking at me either. Half a dozen emotions play across her face. I can feel a bit of her feelings, but with the bond incomplete, they’re too complex right now to get a clear read on them. I can tell, however, that she’s not ready. Not yet. There’s desire there, but there’s a lot of apprehension too.
I don’t want to complete the bond until she’s 100 percent there with me. I know she’s sure of us, but she’s scared. More of the act itself, I think, than the idea of tying our lives together. Still, that’s enough for me to wait. I don’t want there to be any fear involved when we fuse our souls and make love for the first time.
I can tell she doesn’t want to admit her feelings right now and disappoint me, so I make the choice for us. “Let’s not do it tonight.” Her eyes flash to me in surprise. I smile softly at her so that she knows I’m not rejecting her. “Soon, but not right now. It’s late, and we’re exhausted. It’s been a really long day. A longfewdays. I don’t think either of us is in the headspace for such an important decision.”
Not exactly true. At least, not on my part. If I thought she was ready, I’d have no problem taking her right now and claiming her in every way. But she’s not there yet, and I would never push her.
I lay my open palm on the bed between us and lace our fingers together when she slips her hand into mine. I bring them to my lips and lightly kiss her knuckles. “I want us to be ready. It should be special. We’re still new to each other, and so far, everything has been busy and tense. I don’t want to be stressed when we do this. I want to be able to relax and enjoy it. Maybe when we can take a couple days to ourselves.” I give her alopsided smile that has always slayed the ladies and tease, “You know. Just in case you can’t keep your hands off me afterward.”
I wink, and Skylar’s eyes pop wide. She turns red as a tomato again. It’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen, and I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face. She sucks her lips between her teeth, but then a laugh escapes her. She purses her mouth, trying to fight a smile, but it’s there. Her nose crinkles, her cheeks bunch up, and her sparkling eyes squint a little so that tiny creases fan out from the sides.
I chuckle again. “Damn, you’re cute.”
Her face is still flushed, but she rolls her eyes and lets go of my hand to playfully bat at my shoulder. I catch her hand and hold it against my chest. “Let’s get some sleep, yeah?”
She nods, and just like last night scoots over, erasing the space between us. She snuggles against me, tucking her head beneath my chin, and rubs her cheek against my chest, marking me with her scent. I wrap my arms around her, holding her like I’m afraid she’ll escape if I let her go.
