Page 7 of Just Dare Me
His smile deepens. “I envy the time you spend with her. We all do.”
I shake my hands out, feeling more in control now. “Hey, I’m happy to give her back to you guys, because that would mean I got Jay back. Until then, she refuses to leave me alone.”
“I know. We’ve all committed to that end, Shayne. We won’t quit—none of us—until he’s home.”
Boy, I thought my mom’s guilt trips were bad. I clear my throat and I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. Parker gives me an expectant look, waiting patiently. I clear my throat louder this time, and only when I look down at my shoes am I finally able to mutter, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Shayne. Truly. Practice your listening now, and hear me.” He waits for me to look into his eyes. “You arewelcomehere. Moreover, you are welcome withheranytime, even after this is all over. Do you know, for all the physical needs that I and her other men have fulfilled—”
“Gross.”
He raises a finger. “For all that, I wonder if there hasn’t been a lingeringemotionalneed left unfulfilled…until now. Nora’s never spent this much time with a female friend. Having ‘girl time.’ I’ll bet she confides in you, doesn’t she? Tells you things she’s never told us?”
“She joked about how big Oliver’s junk is.”
He shrugs. “That’s common knowledge.”
I recall Nora’s talk about wanting to pack up all her men and run away from Detroit, from all the responsibility of being Nora Jacobs. That kind of insecurity is not something you’d want to share with lovers who worship you. That’s straight up girl talk territory. “Well, if she did confide in me, I sure as hell ain’t sharing with you, so…”
He raises his hands. “By all means, keep it between the two of you. She needs that kind of outlet. She needs a friend like you, Shayne. It’s my turn to say, most sincerely, thank you.”
A warmth spreads through my chest. I feel like I can breathe deeper. “Geez, is this what happens when people listen rather than shout at each other?”
Parker chuckles. “Oh, you’re not as ignorant as you want people to think. I’ve seen you with Jay. I’ve seen the way you listen to each other. As if the rest of the world no longer exists.”
“Because it doesn’t. Not for me.”
“I don’t believe that. I’ve been watching you, and I think I’ve discovered your dirty little secret—the thing Jay loves about you, but which you’re scared to death of anyone else finding out.”
“Gosh, this sounds juicy. Why don’t you let me in on the secret?”
“It’s something you guard, keep hidden away, pretend it’s not there, mask it with sarcasm and witty banter. But Jay saw it, and Nora sees it, and I see it. Hell, maybe everybody sees it. Maybe they always have.”
“Great. Can I see it?”
“It’s your heart, Shayne. It’s bigger than you think, the space in your heart. You think Jay has filled it up, but there’s more room than even he can fill. Much more. In fact, I think it’s big enough to fit the entire city of Detroit, and that’s why it scares you. Because love is responsibility.”
“Oh, that’s just swell, boss. I can’t even take care of myself, and now I’m supposed to feel responsible for all of Detroit?”
“That responsibility was self-assumed by many from the generation that helped to foster and raise this city, including the great Dottie Davies.”
“Wow, you’re going to bring my dying grandma into this?”
“You’re more like her than you think.”
With a groan, I pull my shirt off over my head and throw it at the door. “Why does everybody I know feel the need to tell me what and who I am?”
“Maybe because it’s obvious to everybody who knows you, who has been drawn to you, the same way that so many felt drawn to the protective care of your Little Bunica all those years ago. It’s obvious to all those who feel better with you by their side, feel stronger, feel as though they would follow you anywhere, no matter how dangerous. Your destiny is to—”
“My destiny!” I try to talk over him, but he won’t relent.
“You’re destiny,” he repeats with raised voice, “is to lead, to stand at the front of this wild pack we call Detroit, and if you dispute that, you’re either dumb or blind or just too stubborn, but my personal bet would be all three.”
I’m left with my mouth hanging open. Parker has always been frank with me, but never emotional, neverraw. It’s almost as if we were talking as long-time friends rather than coworkers. When did that happen? What in the damn hell’s going on? For once, I’m almost tongue-tied. “I don’t see…I mean, I just…I want to get Jay back. There’s nothing else, Parker. That’s all I want.”
“That’s just it. Everybody knows what you want, Shayne. But sometimes life has a way of taking away what we want in order to force us to see what weneed.”
I’m so frustrated that I literally try to pull my hair out. “But what Ineedis Jay! Did you think about that? What if what I want and what I need are the same thing? Win-win!”
