Page 53 of Just Dare Me
“Especially not that.”
She rubs her hand up and down my arm. “I’m sorry, Shayne, but it’s there. It’s there, and so arethey.”
“They, who?”
“People.”
“What the…what people?”
She groans with exasperation. “The people wholookto you.”
“Oh, shit no.”
“The people whowatchyou. Waiting to see what you do, so they can be part of it. You still think you ran with the Cody boys, and not the other way around, don’t you? You still thinkyouwere the tagalong? You’re blind. I saw it then, and I see it now with Brenner and that FBI agent woman, and Elle Harrington, Nora Jacobs, Nick Gorgeous, Madison West. I heard she made you a task force leader.”
“But all that stuff justhappened. I didn’ttryto do any of it!”
“Exactly.Exactly.” She wrings her fists at me. “Exactly!”
“So? Stop saying that.”
“So the beautiful girl whodoesn’t knowshe’s beautiful is only that much more attractive.”
“What the hell’s that mean?”
“Why is it that when something bad happens, you say you did it—it’s all your fault. But when something good happens, you say it wasn’t you—it justhappened.” She raises a hand to stop me from talking. “No, don’t answer that. I don’t even want to hear whatever twisted logic you’ll come up with. All I want to say is that the biggest frustration of my life has been knowing how amazing you are, but having to wait endlessly foryouto see it.”
“Oh, that’s such a mom thing to say.”
“And moms only speak the truth—everybody knows that.”
“No, moms just all think their own kids are beautiful and special, which is why all moms end up disappointed.”
“You’re only making it worse for yourself, baby girl. The more oblivious you are to your own influence, the more they’re going to trust you, themoreresponsibility they’re going to give you. Power is safest in the hands of the one who doesn’t want it, and who’s ever wanted it less than you?”
“Wow. You really get me.”
“So did Bunica, obviously. She knew exactly what she was doing with you.”
“Oh, c’mon, you know she didn’t put that much thought into it. All it took was for me to be born on the same day as her, and she’s like, ‘Shayne’s the one.’”
“Um…okay, you may be right about that, but still, she wasn’t wrong.”
I feel her smile against my head, which makes me smile, although not for long. Heavy thoughts pull down at the corners of my mouth. “You really think I can beat these guys? Save Detroit?”
“I think you could save theworld, if you really wanted to. I also think you don’t need to do any of that tonight. Tonight, maybe you could just save me from this funeral.”
“But Bunica never wanted a funeral. She wanted a celebration.”
“I know, but I just can’t. I don’t have it in me. This is my celebration, right here, having you back home. But I can’t parade you out there in front of Marlene Cody. My gain is her loss. Ben will never show his face here again.”
Mention of Mrs. Cody gives me a flash of inspiration. “Mom, you’re a genius.”
“I am?”
“What if therewassomething we could all celebrate? Even Mrs. Cody?”
“Are you kidding? Bunica would be dancing on her grave.” She quickly makes a placating gesture to the lump of nightgown. “No disrespect. May you rest in peace.” Then back to me. “But I can’t imagine—”
