Page 46 of Just Dare Me
Mom looks saddened by my response, which is terrifying. Somehow, I feel like I’ve offended her again, only I can’t imagine how. She places her hands beneath Bunica’s head and rump, preparing to lift her.
“Wait,” Jay says. He jerks his hoodie over his head and offers it to Mom.
With a grateful nod, she takes his hoodie and uses it to cover the body. Then she hefts the bundle into her arms and starts the long walk home. The others shift. We all stand together, watching her.
Randy sounds shocked when he says, “She talked to you.”
“Randy,” Blanche warns.
“But Mom, you said Gram wouldn’t ever talk to Shayne again for as long as she lived.”
Before Blanche can swat his little bum, I come to his rescue. “Trust me, I’m as surprised as you are.”
Mrs. Cody trembles uncontrollably. She can hardly force the words out when she asks, “It…it was Ben? He’s the one who…”
For her sake, I try to soften the truth. “She jumped into the middle of our fight from his blind side. Ben acted on instinct. What other choice did he have?”
“Lots,” Nolan says. “Hundreds of chances to make different choices,thousandsover the years. This washismess, nobody else.”
He’s right, of course, but that doesn’t mean Mrs. Cody wants to hear it. She shifts into her beautiful orange-ish gray coyote and flees into the woods. Nolan throws his hands up with a sigh.
Randy says, “Ben can’t come back now, right?”
Nolan spits blood into the dirt at his feet. “He can, but he won’t. Besides what happened to Bunica, he retreated from a challenge.”
“But Shayne didn’t beat him.”
“Doesn’t matter. He won’t show his face to any of us again.”
Randy stares at his feet with a storm in his eyes, clearly upset by the idea of never seeing his uncle again. It’s heartbreaking. Blanche moves in to comfort him, but Nolan makes a quick gesture, asking for one more second. My sister concedes.
“We can’t control what other people do, Randy. But we can control how we respond to what they do. If Ben ever did want to come back, how would you respond? Would you forgive him?”
His little voice is thick with emotion. “Yes.”
“That’s good. And you know what? Ben already knows that about you. I promise he does.”
“But he still won’t come back?”
“No,” Nolan states with conviction. “Because even if we all would forgive him, he’ll never forgive himself.”
“You forgive him, Uncle Nolan?”
“I always do, even if it takes a while. He’s my brother. Your dad would say the same.”
“And you, Mom?”
Blanche smiles. “I will if you will, sweetheart.”
He peers up at me with doubt. “And Shayne?”
Whew, boy. When I hesitate, Jay squeezes my hand, giving me the encouragement I need. “That’s not so easy for me, bud. There’s a lot…like, when we were your age, me and Ben were…I mean, all of us were. Your dad, Nolan, your mom, we all ran together. We were best friends. But things didn’t stay that way. It’s complicated.”
When Randy pouts, Nolan says, “What do you think? You like that answer?”
“No.” Randy digs his big toes in the dirt. “But…”
“Yeah? But what?”
