Page 16 of Just Dare Me
“Ninety-nine out of a hundred times. See that? 1 percent of the time, true, I have to be violent, but that’s compared to 99 percent of the time when I simply have to behonest. It’s that honesty and transparency of emotion that gives constant release to our dominance, so it’s never building up inside.
“But look here, let’s look at the other side now, and say that I’m not dealing with a threat, but with a friend. If my friends know that when I say something, I absolutely mean every word of it, then what happens when I tell that person I care for them? I trust them? I’ll always be there for them?”
“They believe it.”
“They don’t just believe it, they know it, theyfeelit. See, so the way that you can use dominance constantly is by establishing your boundaries with everyone around you, and not just your enemies. It actually goes double for the positive relationships in your life, not holding those good feelings back, not letting important things go unsaid. A healthy dominance will thrive on letting those people know how much they mean to you, so they know they’re in your circle, under your protection, your trust. Listen to me. Dominance can be andshouldbe a power of respect and trust drawing others closer to you, not pushing them away.”
I slump in my seat. “I’m doomed.”
“You’re not doomed.”
“I am, and you know why! What you’re saying is no more bluffing! What you’re saying is no more running, no more hiding, no more fear of my feelings. Just put them all out there for everybody to see? Hell no, I liked it better when I thought dominance was just ripping faces off.”
“You can do this, Shayne.”
“I can’t do this. There’s no way.”
“Hey, do I have dominance or not?”
“You have a lot of it.”
“So, I mean what I say and I say what I mean? Always?”
“I’ve never known you to be otherwise.”
“Good, so hear me when I say thatyou can do this. It’s in you. And when you get on top of it, when you go on to become the best agent the FUA has ever had and to do amazing things for this city, I’ll be the second least surprised person in the world.” He opens the door.
“Wait, the second least? Who’s the least surprised person?”
Stepping out of the car, he gives me one last look. “That’ll be Jay.” He closes the door and walks up the road, where his car is parked.
After that complete drain on my emotions, my drive to the Agency is calm and quiet—no music, no speeding. I don’t even have the energy to get upset when I hit every red light. Rain patters against the windshield, plunks on the roof. Windshield wipers make a screeching sound.
The Agency is packed. Not only is every field agent here, but all our support staff as well, which includes consultants, forensics specialists, diplomats, liaisons, the entire who’s who of Detroit. At the center of the crowd, naturally, is Nora, surrounded by her clan. Despite all the conversation around her—a dozen different people vying for her attention—Nora still manages to spot me and smile. How does she do that?
Just as expected, Hillerman and Russo are standing in a corner, away from everybody else. As the only two humans in the room, they’re smart to keep their distance. Even among sympathetic underworlders, humans have to tread lightly. One cross look or sarcastic remark will wear out their welcome. Not a problem for Russo, but Hillerman is better off putting a bag over her head.
“You talk to Deputy Reed?” she asks, her eyes hidden behind dark shades.
Russo laughs. “What she means is ‘Hello, Shayne, how are you this morning? And here you go.’” He hands me a coffee. “Half coffee, half sugar, cream, and chocolate, just how you like it.”
“I’m loving that,” I say, feeling guilty. I have no idea how Russo likes his coffee.
He pulls me in for a side hug, then says, “Okay, now talk business.”
“Well, we’re cleared for the tailgate meeting.”
“Is that what all this Halloween party’s for? They’re going to blow the hell out of this thing?”
“Actually, no,” I say, lowering my voice. “Parker agreed to keep this under the radar until we find out what Dominique wants. It’s our op, just us and Nora.”
Russo slams a fist into his palm. “Loving that.”
Hillerman folds her arms and sighs, which, if translated, meansCrap, I was hoping to rag on these pompous underworld assholes, but it’s actually cool that Parker is playing on our side, so I’ll keep my mouth shut. See, you have to understand that when it comes to the underworld, Hillerman sticks to that age-old rule that if you’ve got nothing nasty and terrible to say, then don’t say anything at all.
Apparently, Russo is fluent in speaking Charlotte. He looks impressed by her silence. “You see that? We’ve been working on this. Deputy Reed has been more than fair. He’s all right. In fact, the more we work with the Agency, the more we come to respect all underworlders. Isn’t that right, Charlotte?” She takes a deep breath and releases it while staring at the floor. Russo claps his hands. “There, see?”
“A real pillar of self-restraint,” I quip.
