Page 61 of Just Dare Me
He nods in foreboding confirmation. “She says it’s time.”
Together, we trudge back to unit #2, none of us in any hurry to face yet another tragedy. If this were anybody else—if it were Elle or Nora—I’d run to be at their side, hug them, hold their hand, anything they needed. But with Charlotte I don’t know what she needs. I don’t know what this will do to her—if she’ll be mad or bitter, or something worse. Part of me is terrified of seeing Charlotte—the absolute rock—shattered to pieces, never to be whole again. If she can be broken, then what chance have any of us got?
We find her on the back steps outside my room, hugging her knees to her chest, looking very small. I’m not surprised she came here, where the trickling creek winds away from the wagon train into the dark woods, and the wind is blocked by the trailer. It’s a peaceful and secluded spot. For a while we all just stand there, listening to the quiet.
“I can’t let that happen again,” Charlotte says with a shaky voice. “Tabitha knows how to get to me. She’ll keep trying. Surround herself with exorcists.” Leaning back, she stretches her legs, then stands to face us with wet cheeks. “Getting forced out is different than being released. If Matt is exorcised, he’d be imprisoned forever in the Deep, a literal hell, surrounded by demons. Eventually, he’d become one of them.” She wipes at her face with the back of a hand. “But…if I…” She takes a breath, then another, working herself up to saying the words. “If I let him go, then he’ll move on, just as if he’d died naturally. Move on to…whatever is out there, whatever isafter.” She gazes into the woods, as if they hold the mysteries of the afterlife. “If we’re going after Tabitha again, I can’t bring him with me. I can’t risk it. I won’t.”
All I can think of to say is, “I’m sorry.”
She stands there, paralyzed by emotion—doubt and guilt and pain. I wish I could help somehow. Maybe she could use a little push. “How do you do it?” I ask.
“He’s bound to me by a fetish—an object that’s meaningful to us. An obvious thing.” She holds up her left hand, displaying the wedding band on her ring finger, next to her missing pinky. “But I don’t know if I can do it.”
I step toward her. “Do you want me to—”
She leaps away, clutching her hand to her chest and turning her back to us. Then, just as suddenly, she pulls at the ring, twisting it from her finger, and tosses it into the creek. After a moment of shock, she rushes forward to recover the ring, but a strong voice says, “Stop.”
She freezes, stunned by the voice, which came from a figure that is now materializing above the creek, right where the ring landed. Wisps of blue, shimmering magic swirl in the air, outlining the shape of broad shoulders on a frame as tall as Russo. The figure is blurry, shifting in and out of focus, like a dream, but his head comes into sharp focus. Matt is strikingly handsome, and so young compared to the maturity of his voice. I’m guessing his appearance hasn’t aged a day since he died. “Stop, Charlotte,” he says with a grin. “You’ve done the hard part. Now leave it.”
Charlotte’s voice is a whisper. “I can’t.”
“Youthoughtyou couldn’t. Believe me, I know. You really thought you wouldn’t be able to do it.”
“And I was right, I can’t.” She lunges for the ring, but her legs give out. Russo catches her, helping her to stand.
Matt smiles at Russo. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe you can’t…on your own. But you’re not, are you? After all this time. You havefriends, babe. Talk about the impossible! Of everything that’s happened, that’s the most unbelievable.”
When he winks at me I want to laugh, but Charlotte lets out a shuddering sob. “Don’t,” she says. “No jokes. Not now.”
His smile turns apologetic. “Charlotte, I can’t stay. I can feel it pulling me.” He glances over his shoulder. “But do we really need more time? Haven’t we been saying one long good-bye for the last ten years?”
She takes gulps of air. “I can’t.”
“But you just did, and I’ve never been more proud of you. Think about it this way: if this is the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do, then you’ve got a long life of easier things to look forward to.”
“Don’t go. I can still put it back on.”
Matt’s face turns serious. He gazes at her with a kind of intense awe. “Charlotte, this is it. I won’t drag it out any longer. We had our time. Not enough, but more than others get. Think about this moment. Our last. Don’t let me leave with a lie.”
“A lie? What lie?”
“You haven’t told it yet.”
“I won’t. How could I? You know my every thought. I can’t lie to you.”
“Then tell me the truth. How does it feel?”
At first, she’s taken aback by the question. Then, she lowers her head, ashamed.
Matt smiles. “How about I tell the truth for you? It feels light. You feel light, lighter than you’ve felt in years, happier than you’ve felt in years. Unburdened. You can breathe again. And it feelsgood, Charlotte. Itshouldfeel good. No more guilt, no more shame, no more tears. Enough is enough. It’s time for the old Charlotte to come back. She’s still in there, trust me.”
Charlotte is quiet for a long moment. Matt watches her squirm until she finally mutters, “So what? Are you sayingI told you so?Doesn’t mean I won’t miss you every second.”
“Good. You do that. Only…”
Charlotte looks him in the eyes with desperation. “Only what? Just tell me, I’ll do it. Anything.”
Matt’s face lights up, his eyes twinkling. “Only, miss me with a smile.” He reaches out to her.
