Page 73 of Heart and Soul
Can’t put it off any longer. After a final pathetic whine, I shift, and immediately my eyes fill with tears. My heart feels like it’s being squeezed as images of Dad and Mom and Bunica crash against me. Rummaging through my bag is nearly impossible through the tears, but finally I manage to extract socks and underwear.
Fighting back sobs, I stand to my full height to put pants on, and that’s when I get the answer to the mystery of the campfire scent. Directly at eye level—my human eye level—a set of car keys dangles from a branch just inches from my face. So that’s what Nolan was doing here. Granting me custody once again. I’m tired of fighting him about this. I’ll take it, and I’ll be grateful.
Dressing quickly, not bothering to tie my shoes, I hurry through the rest of the woods. With twenty yards to go, I spot it parked just beyond the trees: a 2006 Pontiac sedan, painted in Tigers blue and white. The front end is smashed, and the sides are scraped to hell from the last time I “drove” it (crashed it). For years, it was my Crap-pile, and then, after Nolan polished it up, it wasn’t a Crap-pile anymore, so I called it my Tiger. Now it’s neither. It’s somewhere in between. It’s Tiger Crap.
These are the thoughts going through my mind when a hand shoots out from behind a tree and seizes me by the throat. It’s Ben, and he’s in no mood to pull his punches. He slams me against the tree and tightens his grip on my neck. I feel my face redden. My feet kick relentlessly, but he is unmoved. The blank look on his face tells me I’m dealing with the psychopath Ben—the Ben who wouldn’t listen, even if I could talk. Only when I raise my hand high above my head with one finger pointed to the sky does he let up on my throat.
“Bullshit!” he growls. “What is that? A signal? If he was out there, he would have done something already.”
He may be right. It’s been a while. How long was I asleep at the tree? Jay could have left, gone looking for me somewhere, or fallen asleep. I shake myself back to my senses. What am I thinking? This is Jay. Of course he’s still out there, and of course he hasn’t done anything yet, because I haven’t given him the signal.
“Waiting—” I squeak through a swollen throat. “On me.”
He slams my head against the tree. Stars explode in my eyesight. Knowing I can’t take another hit like that without passing out, I throw my hand down, as though signaling a race to start. Before my hand has even finished the gesture, a gunshot rings out, and the tree trunk above Ben’s head explodes splinters, spitting bark in our faces.
Ben leaps back, releasing me. “Shee—yit! Sonofabitch!”
Coughing and gagging with sudden intakes of cold air, I quickly raise my hand again. A last warning. “Silver bullets, asshole. The next one paints the tree with your brain.”
“You can’t be here. I’m within my rights to take your head clean off right now.”
“Try it.”
Ben looks all around, trying to figure out where Jay could be hiding. “If he’s across that field, it’s a quarter-mile shot. No way he makes that mark twice.”
“Try it, Ben.”
He spits in the snow, his whole body trembling against our leash. He’s desperate to lunge at me. “Nolan shouldn’t have done this. He can’t.”
“Then challenge him, Ben. Do it, I’m begging you. Do us all the favor.”
“Keep talking, little girl. If I shift, I could take half a dozen shots. Your heart would be in my throat long before that.”
“This is it, Ben. Do you hear me? By keeping my hand raised, I’m saving your life.Again. There won’t be another time.”
“You quit the pack, Shayne. What did you expect? You think you can just come and go? This isn’t your territory anymore. That was your choice.”
“Aw. And that choice hurt your feelings, is that it?”
His face changes from angry to stone-cold, his eyes going dead like a shark’s. It’s a chilling transformation from which I know he can’t go back. I have no choice now but to keep hitting him hard. If I show the least sign of weakness, he’ll attack without hesitation.
“I’m going to tell you something, Ben. I really shouldn’t, because it sickens me, but since I hope to never see you again, I better get it out now.”
His only response is an unblinking stare of complete obsession. I don’t want to know what fantasy is playing out behind those eyes. I start to wonder if Jay would be able to take him out before I was torn apart.
“There was a time,” I continue, “alongtime ago. I’m talking, abriefmoment of…I don’t know, madness, I guess, because we were young and I didn’t know shit. But there was thisinstantwhen I thought…I might pick you.”
My words hit him square between those dead eyes, which briefly show signs of life again.
“But you were different back then, and I don’t mean just because we had so much growing up to do. I meanyou. You were…Nolan was the one who always made jokes at my expense, but you never did. You always seemed to get quiet when I was around. It made me wonder. For two seconds. But now the only thing I wonder is where that kid went? We used to run together, Ben.” I have to stop, because my eyes are stinging with emotion again. No matter what changed, or what happens in the future, those old days with the Cody boys—even Ben—will always be part of my true north. I wouldn’t be who I am without them.
For a brief moment, there’s a flicker of something in Ben’s face—I was going to say softness, but that’s not possible for him; maybepainis a better word—but he quickly gets ahold of himself. The covetous, hungry light returns to his eyes. “You need to give him the signal, Shayne. Drop your hand. Make him shoot and hope he doesn’t miss, because I’m going back now, and if I reach the fire, I’m throwing down a challenge on sight.”
My heart sinks. Achallenge on sightmeans that if I ever show my face to Ben again, he’ll take it as a formal challenge on the spot, no questions asked. The worst part is, he’d be challenging to be my alpha, which means he wouldn’t fight me. He’d go after Jay.
“You do what you have to, Ben.”
With a vacant grin, he sidesteps me and strolls into the woods, whistling carelessly. As soon as he’s out of sight, I rifle through my pack to find the earbud. Jay’s voice is shouting through it as I put it in.
