Page 59 of Heart and Soul
A hard lump sticks in my throat. I take back what I said. I definitelycannotimagine the hell they are going through.
“But she’s still got something in her that…it’s something I never thought I wanted her to feel, but now I’ve changed my mind. I want it for her. I want her to have it.”
“What? What thing?”
He swallows hard. “It’s a thing that she felt…that shefeels, I mean, when she looks at Brenner’s partner.”
I nearly shout, but at the last second I clamp a hand over my mouth. After a moment to calm myself, I hiss, “Russo?”
Matt stutters, “She…she…yeah, so…”
“Russo?”
“And he obviously feels the same. So it’s there for both of them. They’d…it would be good.”
“Matt, no.”
“Yes!” He draws himself up tall, summoning strength to go on. “I know what she feels, Shayne, and she tries to hide it from me, but she couldn’t ever lie to me, even before I was inside her damn head. These feelings are real, and they’re strong, and shit, they’re as surprising to her as they are to me, Shayne. It scares the hell out of her. She’s resisting it with everything she’s got.”
A realization hits me. “It was you. It wasyourwill that Elle felt at Underworld. She said Charlotte was conflicted about dancing with Russo. Half of her was fighting it, but the other half was willing enough for Elle’s magic to take hold. That wasyourwill.”
“Because I want this for her. This hasn’t happened before—not in all these years, not with all the men she’s met since me. And it may never happen again, so it’s just…it’s time.” He shrugs helplessly. Gulping for breath. “For me to…go.”
“You know what, this feels like something I shouldn’t be hearing.”
“It’s time. It is. Don’t, Shayne, don’t look at me like that. You’ve seen results with Brenner. You’veseenit. Charlotte deserves the same.”
“The hell with that. Do you know what she would do if she thought I was involved with you leaving her? I won’t have any part of this. Wake her up.”
“Shayne.”
“We’re done here. Wake her up, Matt.Now.”
We stare each other down, as if it’s high noon. Faces red, breathing heavily. Matt points at me and says, “You promised.”
“Oh, cheap shot.”
“You promised to watch her back.”
“Foryou, I promised.”
“Fine! Then do it for me.”
“Do what? Clean up after your mess? Explain to Charlotte after you’re gone? Thanks, but no thanks. If you want to leave her, then leave her, but leave me out of it.”
“I can’t.”
“So don’t. Problem solved.”
“No, I mean I really can’t. It doesn’t work that way. Charlotte put me in here, so only she…” He hangs his head in his hands, defeated.
“Oh.” I try to think of something better to say, but all I can get out is, “Oh. Shit.”
“Shit is correct.”
“You can’t go unless she releases you? But Matt, listen to me. That’s…if she feels at all toward you what I feel for Jay…”
“She does. And that’s not me being arrogant. I can read her thoughts, remember? I can feel her feelings.”
