Page 95 of Rebel Secrets
I’d seen my dad for a grand total of fifteen minutes so far.He was in the midst of a huge European deal and had stayed in the city until last night.He’d arrived home after I’d gone to bed, and he’d been in his office when I got up.He’d given me a distracted kiss on the cheek and a pat on the back when he’d come out for coffee a little while ago.
I’d made it to Friday, and Rebel would be here soon.
Butterflies danced in my stomach, but they were giant butterflies with huge wings, and I think they’d moved into my lungs, as well.It was hard to breathe.
And now, I was alone in the kitchen with my mom, staring at each other in the kitchen, holding mugs of tea.
“I never really asked how you like it in St.David,” she said.“Are you happy there?”
Since she sounded sincerely interested, I didn’t overthink my answer.I didn’t have to.
“I love it there.It feels like home.”
My mom’s expression didn’t change.“I’m not surprised.It seems like the right place for you.”
Now, I was flustered.And a little pissy, which I didn’t like.
“Really?Then why do you constantly make me feel like I should move home?Like you think I can’t survive on my own?”
She actually looked puzzled.“That’s never been my intention.I don’t know why you would think that.I certainly don’t think that.”
“Well, I definitely get that feeling whenever we talk about it.So maybe we shouldn’t.”
I didn’t want to do this now.Not when Rebel would be here any minute.
But my mom had a different idea.“Erin.I realize we don’t have the best of relationships, but I have never thought you incapable of taking care of yourself.I simply think you take on too much at once.Your brother and sister are more focused.”She held up a hand to stop the words that wanted to rush out of my mouth.“And that’s not a slight against you.Don’t jump to conclusions.Do I wish you had stayed in New York?Of course, I do.What parent doesn’t want their children close to them?But you left.And you never came back.”
My brain chewed through that information like a paper shredder.“My fiancé dumped me a week before our wedding.Everyone kept asking me what’d happened, what did I do.Like it was my fault he didn’t want to marry me.I needed a fresh start.I rebuilt my life and started a business.I didn’t do that to punish you.I couldn’t stay here and have everyone look at me like I was some pitiful creature.I saw an opportunity to get away, and I took it.”
“We understood why you wanted to leave.However, when months and then years passed and you didn’t come back, we all felt like you’d turned your back on your family.That doesn’t mean I’m not proud of you, Erin.I am.But you don’t seem to know that.”
Since she’d never said that to me before, I got this warm, fuzzy feeling in my chest that I didn’t necessarily associate with my mom.My bottom lip tried to quiver a little.
There were so many things I could have said to that.I could’ve been angry or upset.But she wasn’t wrong.I hadn’t known they were proud of me.I did now only because she’d just told me.
I nodded and smiled, because that’s all I could do.“Thank you, Mom.It’s nice to hear.”
“You’re welcome.”And we went back to staring at each other until she said, “You should probably go put on your dress.Your brother and sister will meet us at the chapel.I’ll have to drag your father away from his office in half an hour so we can get there on time.”
Just then, the doorbell rang, and I froze.I wanted to run to the door and throw my arms around Rebel’s neck and hold him close.I wanted him to tell me he’d missed me.I wanted?—
“Just friends, you said.”My mom’s voice held a hint of amusement, as if she knew exactly what I was thinking.
I wondered if she’d be impressed if I told her we were friends with benefits.I’m not even sure she’d know what that meant.
I nodded.“Just friends.”
Her head tilted to the side, and I definitely saw amusement flicker in her eyes.“Mmm hmm.I’ll be sure to tell anyone who asks.”
Since I didn’t have a response to the fact that my mom seemed to have made a joke, I got my feet moving and flung open the front door.
I had to suck in air so I didn’t pass out.
“Rebel.I’m so…happy you’re here.”
That was absolutely not what I wanted to say.I wanted to tell him he looked good enough to eat.I wanted him to grab me and kiss me.I just wanted him.
His gaze traveled from my head to my toes, just as I realized I was still wearing my silk robe.My hair and makeup were done, but I hadn’t put on my dress yet.Instinctively, I reached for the lapels and pulled them together.
