Page 73 of Rebel Secrets
“That’s the problem.I’m not sure I know what I want.”
“I think you know what you want.”Pop’s smile was barely visible, but it was there.“But I think you’ve told yourself you should want something else for so long that you started to believe it.I know it might seem like you don’t know what you want, but it’s not true.Rebel, you have always known what you wanted.And you went after it, even when it was the most difficult thing in the world for you to do.”
“I’ve fucked up a lot.”
He slashed a hand through the air.“Hell, kid, everyone fucks up.You hit a rough patch in college, but you didn’t let it define you.You fought back and look at you now.”
I snorted.“Sitting here bitching to you about attaining a goal so many other guys would sacrifice their first born for.”
Got another laugh from Pop for that one.I enjoyed the hell out of it.
“I don’t think they’d go that far but, yeah, you got a break.But it was a break you’ve busted your ass to get.You earned it, Reb.You’ve got skill, sure, but you also have drive.It’s made you a damn good hockey player.But you know that’s not all there is to life.”
That’s all there’d been in my life.I mean, I had my family, but there’d been no woman for a long time.Yeah, there’d been dates and one-night stands, but I hadn’t found one woman who either wanted to put up with me or who I saw myself spending my life with.If I was going to have a relationship with a woman, I wasn’t just looking for companionship.I wanted what my parents had.I wanted long-term.I wanted forever.And I hadn’t found anyone who came close to being that person.
Until now.
The thought sat in my brain like an itch I couldn’t scratch.Was I really going to go there with Erin?And if I did, what did that mean for my career?I wasn’t looking to do long-distance.And Erin was tied here.
All the more reason not to start something, to write off the wedding night as a fluke, a moment out of time.
But I didn’t want to.Even now, sitting here talking to my dad, I wanted to be with her.I wanted to know why I couldn’t stop thinking about her.Wanted to know what had changed between us.When that change had happened.
And what the hell we were going to do with it now.
“Something else on your mind, kid?”
Grinning, I shook my head.“Nothing I need your help with.”
“Then I probably don’t want to know.”
“Probably not.”
He nodded and I thought he’d drop it.
“You know, sometimes you can miss a good thing standing right in front of you.”
I chose to believe he was not talking about Erin.I couldn’t believe he knew anything about that night.
I nodded and stood, ready to leave.I had prep work I needed to do for camp, and I didn’t have a whole lot of time to do it.Pop remained behind the desk.
“Thanks again for taking the camp.I think you’ll have fun.Just…give yourself some grace on the other shit, kid.You got at least a couple weeks before you have to make a decision.Whatever it is, it’ll be the right one for you.”
ChapterTwenty
Six days after the wedding
Erin
“And I lovebooks with princesses who have swords.Mommy read this one where the princess has to save her kingdom, and her parents were turned into trees, and her brother was an annoying bird who never knew what was going on.I don’t think I ever want a little brother.They’re so much work.”
“Sounds like you got it all figured out.”
I looked up from the laptop where I was ordering books for the store and immediately started to overheat.I knew that voice.
Rebel and Krista had just walked through the door.I hadn’t seen him since last Saturday, when we’d woken up in bed together after spending the night having amazing sex.
I hadn’t texted him back.I’d had no idea what to say.
