Page 72 of Rebel Secrets
Apparently, that would be the best date I’d have all week.Erin and I had exchanged exactly three texts since the wedding.I’d asked her Sunday night to meet me for dinner one day this week.She’d texted back that she’d have to check her calendar and let me know.She’d never gotten back to me.
I’d decided to give her a few days to process everything, also known as the night we’d spent fucking each other’s brains out.Hell, I was still processing.And dreaming about it.Every time I fell asleep, I was back in my old bedroom with Erin naked and all over me.Yeah, I woke up with a hard on.
And that was definitely not what I should be thinking about.But my brain just would not stop bringing her up.
“Thought I’d take her for pizza.And a trip to the bookstore.”
Pop nodded.“She’ll love that.I think she might love books almost as much as Rain and Rowdy.”He paused for a second.“Erin’s done some good things for this town.Took her awhile to find her place here, but I think she’s gotten her footing.She and your sister make good partners.”
Was he fishing for information?I wouldn’t put it past him, but there was no way he could know about Erin and me.If anyone in town had found out about us, Rain would’ve known by now.And I would’ve gotten my ass handed to me.
“They do.”
“You two bury the hatchet?You seemed pretty civil at the wedding.”
“Civil’s my middle name.”
Pop’s laughter bellowed out, filling the empty spaces in the room and making me grin.My brothers and sister and I would make bets about who could make Pop laugh more.Usually it’d been Rowdy.Whenever I got him to laugh, it felt like I’d climbed a mountain.Probably because we were a lot alike.
“I don’t know that I want to go back, Pop.”
His lips still held a little curve.“There a reason for that?”
Yeah.Several.Some that had to do with him.I leaned forward, elbows on my knees and looked at the floor for a few seconds, trying to find the right words.
He was retiring from the team he’d built from the ground up.I’d thought he’d be around forever.His retirement was a reminder that he wouldn’t.
“I’m not sure…” I sighed, shaking my head.“I’m not sure I’m enjoying it enough.”
Pop didn’t say anything right away, his gaze laser-focused on me.As a kid, that look had made me go deer-in-the-headlights because I’d done something stupid that required a Pop talk.Stupid kid shit, like being out after curfew or cow-tipping or shooting targets at midnight in the woods.
This wasn’t like any of those other times.This was more like the time he’d come to college when I’d crashed out.But I wasn’t an anxiety ridden twenty-year-old anymore.I was a grown-ass adult with a major decision to make and no idea what I was going to do.
“Okay, so what do you enjoy about it?”Pop folded his hands over his stomach, his classic listening position.
I didn’t have to give that much thought.“I like the level of play.It’s a challenge.I like challenges.”
Like Erin.
Nope, not what we’re talking about.
Pop nodded.“Okay, what else?”
“I like the guys.I like the coach.”
“All good things.”
“Yeah.”
“But…”
I took a deep breath.“It’s not home.It doesn’t feel like home.Thisis home.”
Pop’s expression didn’t change.“You’ve been there less than a year.”
“I know.”I shoved a hand through my hair, trying not to look as frustrated as I felt.“I know I should give it more time.I don’t want to feel like I’m giving up.I don’t want to be that guy who had this great opportunity and was too afraid to take it.”
“Areyou afraid?There’s a difference between being afraid and knowing what you want.”
