Page 26 of Rebel Secrets
A pause from the other end.“I thought maybe you could meet me in the city one day next week, and we could choose your dress together.”
My eyes closed as the guilt crept it.I usually managed to keep it at bay when I talked to my mom, but right now it was kicking my ass.I knew she actually did want to see me.And it had been a while since I’d been home.
And I knew, between Abby agreeing to work full time and the staff at the bakery, I could afford to take off Tuesday.But I had that date with Rebel?—
Wait.No.Not a date.Definitely not a date.It was just dinner so we could talk.
“Would Tuesday work for you?”
“That’s perfect, Erin.I’ll make a few appointments.Any place in particular you want to go?”
“I’ll leave that up to you, Mom.I trust your judgement.”
For the next few minutes, my mom listed places I either didn’t remember or never went to with her.And I’d gone to a lot of boutiques with my mom over the years.Until I’d escaped.
Okay, maybe that was a little overdramatic, but at the time, I’d felt like I had.
When my parents had asked me to come help Granddad shut down the paper five years ago, I felt like I’d been thrown a lifeline.I’d been drowning in New York City after college, trying to be the good daughter and care about the family business.My dad’s family owned a real-estate business.An empire, really.One that sold multimillion-dollar homes to the rich and famous.
My older brother had joined right after college, jumping in with both feet.He enjoyed the cutthroat mentality needed to become a top moneymaker.My sister loved it, too, though she worked with families…who had huge amounts of money to spend on Penthouses and townhomes on the Upper West Side.
I hadn’t seen a place for myself there.I’d hated all the entertaining my parents did at their home, where I was expected to be the perfect McNamara-Wright daughter.And I tried.I conformed as much as I could.Even my college degree hadn’t even been my idea.My mom had suggested pre-law and I’d thought, “Why not?”She’d actually been half-right.I had enjoyed the history and civics classes, but I’d loved my electives even more.Latin and English literature and feminist studies.
But I knew after I’d graduated that I wasn’t going to law school.And then there’d been my failed engagement.But I didn’t talk about that.I didn’t even like to think about it.
Finally, my mom said, “I’ll have a full itinerary sent to you tomorrow.It’ll be nice to see you, sweetheart.It’s been…a while.”
Ugh, the guilt.My heart raced and my stomach twisted.All because my mom said it’d be nice to see me.I was a horrible daughter.
“I’m sorry to cut this short, but we’re just closing the store for the night and I?—”
“How’s it going?The store?I talked to your grandfather the other day.He said you’re doing well.Both the bakery and the bookstore.”
Granddad hadn’t mentioned that Mom had called.
He knew it would do this to you.
“They keep me busy.”
And there that word again.Ugh.
Another pause, like my mom didn’t know what to say to that.The woman who could speak to every single person in a crowded room about anything at all didn’t know what to say to me about my livelihood.
“And Granddad?How’s he?”
Was that what this was all about?“He’s fine, Mom.He’s doing really well.”
“That’s good to hear.I’ve been thinking about coming out for a visit, before we go to the Hamptons for the wedding.I have a trip I need to make to Pittsburgh, and I could stop in St.David on my way.”
“Well, there’s a big wedding in town in a few weeks, and I’ll be really busy heading up to that.I’m handling a lot of the food and?—”
“Why don’t you send me the dates for that, and we can work around it?”
Which meant Mom had already made up her mind about coming.Goody.
Since Mom had gotten what she wanted, we hung up a minute later.I sat there, feeling all the shit I felt after I talked to my mom.Then I made myself get up and walk back out to the store.
“Everything okay?”Rain’s question held no inflection.
