Page 73 of Hellbent
“I don’t think she’s trying to be good anymore,” he says, and Jake chuckles against my mouth.
But just when I want to give myself over to the teasing of their mouths and hands, something inside me resists.
Ryder’s voice plays in my head, the utter condescension of it.“We’re asking you to be a thoughtful member of this community.”
I picture Wyatt’s face if he walked in right now, and the heat in my veins turns cold.
This is exactly what I’mnotsupposed to be doing.
Sucking in a breath, I press my hands against Jake’s chest, pushing just enough to break the spell. “Not here.”
Damian’s hand stills, then he exhales and rests it on my hip, groaning.
“No,” he whines.
“Let’s go up to the house,” Jake murmurs.
But that’s the last place I want to go. I don’t want to go anywhere near Ryder.
“No,” I say. “Not there. Let’s go out.”
The bar is packed tonight, full of college kids celebrating the end of finals, one last surge before everything in town slows down for the summer. Tables have been pushed out of the way, and a crowd is dancing in the center of the room. The chaos feels like home. More like the clubhouse I’d been living in since I was sixteen than the heavy quiet of the garage when no one’s around, and tonight, it’s exactly what I need.
We find a table at the back and Damian heads to the bar for drinks, leaving me alone with Jake. His green eyes search my face.
“You good, Max?”
“Yeah,” I say automatically. Then I let out a breath. This is Jake.
"Yeah,” I repeat, quieter this time. “Just…I don’t know. Things feel different lately.”
“Different how?”
I glance down, fiddling with a cardboard coaster. “I thought once I knew I could stay, I’d feel better. Like, more groundedor whatever. But lately...it just feels like everyone’s gone all the time. I guess the quiet’s getting in my head a little.”
Jake watches me for a beat. “You feeling lonely?”
I shrug. “Maybe. I don’t know. It’s more like...everyone else has something they’re building toward. You and Damian have the house. Wyatt’s off doing…whatever the fuck Wyatt’s doing. And I’m just doing the same thing every day because I don’t know where I’m going.”
He reaches over the table and takes my hand. I drop the coaster and look up at him.
“It’s just a busy time. Damian and I are running on fumes trying to finish the reno. Wyatt’s got his own shit going on. But you’re not on the sidelines, Max. You’re part of us now. You matter.”
I swallow hard, my gaze dropping to the table. “Yeah, well. Someone tell Ryder that.”
Jake snorts. “Ryder’s a fucking mess when it comes to people he cares about. But if he didn’t give a shit, you wouldn’t still be here.”
I huff a laugh. “I wouldn’t bet on that lasting.”
The words leave my mouth before I can stop them—bitter and too honest.
Jake tilts his head, studying me for a beat. “Damn, Max. You always expect the worst, huh?”
I shrug, downplaying how much his comment hit the mark. “Just saving time,” I say casually.
“Listen.” His voice gets low and serious. “You need to trust that we have your back. That you're safe with us.”
He says it so easily. Like safety is something I should just accept. But how can I? And how can I trust in whatever this thing is between me, Jake, and Damian when I don’t even know what it is?
