Page 27 of I'm So Mega
His eyes lingered on me for a beat. “Go ahead if it will help you make the story relatable for the fellas. I don’t want to make it a habit though.”
“Bet, I got you. Uriah wasn’t about to follow David up. He slept outside so he wouldn’t be tempted to dig in his wife’s pussy,” I said then sighed. “That was so much easier to express. I’ll use it sparingly.”
Croy chortled. “That man must have known David was on that dumb stuff. Not too many people would give up a chance to smash their wife, war or not. Sometimes sex with ya wife is just the pickup you need. I know from experience.”
“So do I,” Pastor Gilmore admitted. “There’s a special bond, a soul tie when you can be intimate with the person that God blessed you with. Especially when she’s got that good stuff.”
I could see the surprise on some of the men’s faces at the pastor’s honesty. That was why I messed with him. I didn’t always have to worry about the formalities of it all with him. He understood that Big G met people where they were, and it was his job to guide them in their growth with Big G, not dictate it.
“Back to the story. David ain’t like that, so he was like, let me try this again. He had a little kickback and got that man drunk. David thought, if I can get Uriah drunk, then he’s definitely gonna go home to give Bathsheba that dick.” I glanced at Pastor. “Let me cook.”
Mel, another dude in the group, huffed. “He’s doing a lot to cover up that pregnancy. Shoot, he already sinned. Why not use herbs or something as a baby be gone?”
I glared at Mel for a second before my eyes softened. “I mean, that’s not a bad idea in the grand scale since he already was doing the most, but nah. After Uriah didn’t fall for his drunk scheme, David made the ultimate opps move. They didn’t have cell phones, pigeons, or kites, so he sent a letter to the general Joab. I’on know who carried that letter, but I’m too nosy to not have looked at it. I would have been all in it.”
Everyone agreed. No one could tell me any different. Most people were innately nosy. When they asked me what the letter said, I paused for a moment. “Man, he told Joah to put Uriah on the front line and for everyone else to fall back. He straight gave that man a death sentence.”
“Yeah, that was opps behavior.” Desmond sat back in his seat. “Ain’t no way that man did all that for some coochie that wasn’t his.”
It felt good that everyone was locked into the story. I really wanted them to get the story so they could get the revelation. I knew that was what Big G wanted.
“Desmond, the first time I read this story, I almost cussed my wife out on some if you ever. Man, I was low-key traumatized for a second.” I chortled. “David had to get the timing just right since ole girl was preggo. He let her mourn for a lil tee-tee before he married her, and she had the baby. I’m sure the rumors were buzzing, but no one knew any better.”
Jabari had been quiet. He had a real fight with his spirituality. Dude had been through a lot, but I saw the fight in him. No one knew, because it wasn’t their business, but I’d intervened in a suicide attempt by him. That was one of the scariest nights of my life. One thing I’d learned—not just in my walk with Big G, but just as a man—was you had to be careful how you extended yourself to people. Your disingenuous offer to be there for a person could mean life or death.
“Yeah, no one knew any better, but God sees all that stuff,” Jabari said without emotion. “You can’t run from God. No matter how hard you try.”
Pastor Gilmore smiled at the revelation that Jabari picked up from the story. “You’re right, Jabari. Hebrew 4:13 says,Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.Everything we do, we will have to answer for. Thank God for His grace and mercy with the chance to ask for forgiveness.”
“Right, Pastor. God’s eyes are everywhere. Bathsheba had David’s baby, and all seemed cool for a lil second. Like pastor said, God sees all, so he sent his prophet Nathan to rap with David,” I told them. “Nathan dropped this story to David about this rich dude taking this poor man’s only lamb. David over there on his goofy stuff talking about dude was wrong for taking old boy’s lamb like he didn’t snatch a whole man’s wife. Nathan looked at that man sideways likethat’s you, my boy. Sometimes, people gotta tell you in a different way about what you do for you to get it.”
There was short conversation around my last statement. I remembered when Ned had to do that when I was tripping in my marriage. If the people around you couldn’t tell you what was up about you, then you needed new people.
I leaned forward in my seat. “David picked up what Nathan was saying, and he felt bad. He knew he’d messed up on the ultimate level. Here’s the thing. You can repent, and God forgives you, but that doesn’t absolve you from the consequences of your actions.” I tilted my head. “It’s like when a female who had an affinity for sleeping with married men gets saved, then all of a sudden, she thinks nothing is going to catch up with her. Remember, you reap what you sow.”
At times, a part of me felt like that was the case when I lost Megha. I’d done some crazy stuff, and I knew Big G would have to handle me at some point in time. I just never imagined it would be that. They asked me what happened.
“The baby that Bathsheba and David had got real sick. While the baby was sick, David did all the things. He prayed, fasted, kept his faith in the Big G. Unfortunately, the baby died before they could even name him. After the baby died, folks looked at David like he was coldhearted because he took his losses with the same strength that he took his wins. He cleaned himself off and kept it moving. Later, God did bless Bathsheba and David with their son Solomon who became the king and that dude.”
The room was silent for a moment. Pastor Gilmore broke the silence. “Mega, what did you get from that story?”
“I mean, you can be a real dude that makes mistakes, but you got to be real enough to own up to it. What y’all think?” I knew what I got from the story. I wanted to know what they got from it.
Jabari sat up. “To me, it’s about resisting temptation and having discipline. No one is perfect, so yeah, you might slip. If you do, though, don’t be a lame and not man up. A part of being a man—well, a person—is being real about what you do and understanding that stuff comes with it.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought too,” white boy John said. “I think it was about greed too. David had everything, but he let his peen be his downfall and make him fall into a desire he should have never had. Like heavy is the head that wears the crown. Don’t make it heavier with your stupid stuff.”
I sat there as others gave their lesson with a smile.They got it, Big G.Croy was the last one to speak before I closed it out. “So, I want y’all to think about this. What made David a man after Big G’s heart?” I paused so they could take in the question. “It was David’s heart.
“Yeah, he did a bad thing, but that wasn’t who he was. He slipped, which is allowed. On some real, you can’t always define yourself by your actions. It’s your heart. The moment you define yourself by what you do in opposition of your heart, you become that action. Once you can define yourself by how Big G sees you and settle in that, you can move and work toward being the person Big G intended you to be. I slip almost every day, but I also man up to it when I know I’ve slipped. Sometimes I don’t know that I slipped, and I have people around me that are solid to let me know.”
We all sat there silently taking it in. This was the perfect story to show redemption and Big G’s grace. Jabari broke the silence. “Um, how do you like start that walk for real? Like, is there something you got to do?”
My eyes trailed over to Pastor Gilmore. He smiled. “Mega, I think you know how that’s done. You want to enlighten the group?”
“Have any of you heard of the sinner’s prayer?” I asked. I assessed that some had, and some hadn’t. “Basically, it’s a prayer where you man up to being a sinner. Let Big G know that you believe in your heart that His son died for our sins and that Big G rose him from the dead. After that, you ask Him to help you not sin and allow Him into your heart. Roman 10:9 says,If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
“Like, you gotta say certain words in the prayer or something?” white boy John asked.
