Page 9 of I'm So Mega
His head jerked back. “Ruth, I’m not sure why you think I operate under the same societal rules as everyone else. Understand that your man would be a walking crime documentary if I ever got caught. Now bring your ass on.”
Lord, what have I gotten myself into.
Back To The Present. . .
I sat there and piped down because she may have had a point. That night, the entire club burned down because it took the firefighters twenty minutes to get there. Somehow, my wonderful man had all the calls that came into the emergency services number rerouted.
If that wasn’t enough, the next day, the news reported that Joy died in her home from carbon monoxide poisoning. I was in complete shock. When I told Mega, his response wasI thought you were about to tell me something important.He never said that he had anything to do with it, and I never asked, but I had my speculations.
That weekend, I married the love of my life in a beautiful ceremony. The wedding was a lot bigger than anticipated because of the guest on Mega’s side. One thing I appreciated was when you invited billionaires, you received the best gifts.
“Man, fuck all that other shit. Shan, you should have told me about that little boy asking our daughter to that damn dance. It’s cool though. I invited him and his parents to dinner with the Manfields,”Ned informed her.
I dropped my head because I knew nothing sane would come of this. It was bad enough that Mega would be there. Now that the best friends would be together, there was no controlling the ignorance that would commence.
Guess Who’s ComingTo Dinner . . .
“Megatron, I promise if you embarrass our daughter tonight, you will forget that I have a pussy. Play with me if you think it’s sweet.” Ruth had been saying the same thing for three days now.
I rubbed my hand down the waves in my hair. I took a final look in the mirror to make sure I was presentable. Ruth had me looking like I was on my way to a job interview with these khakis and polo shirt. She was lucky that I looked good in everything. “Ruth, no one is about to embarrass that lil girl. I got it.”
I walked over to where she sat at her vanity. “Stop threatening me with taking away my pussy. You must have forgotten that it’s you that’s been on her ‘need some dick three times a day’ vibe.” I bent down and put my lips to her ear. In alow voice, I said, “I want you to go ponder 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 while you’re talking about withholding. Let’s focus on verse five to be specific.
“‘Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.’That’s what it says, Ruth.” I turned her body toward me, put my finger under her chin, then tilted her head backward. I loved the hell out of this woman. I kissed her lips passionately. With my lips still close to hers, I spoke. “So, wife, what that means is, if we ain’t fuckin’, then we’re praying. As long as we mutually agree, of course.”
She sucked her teeth before she smacked my arm and giggled. “You get on my nerves. Mega, just give them like five percent of you. Maggie and Kellie are in her room about to walk up the wall with their nerves.”
I wasn’t sure why they were worried. “Ned and I already promised to be on our best behavior. Five percent though, Ruth?”
“Y’all come on down here. Everyone is waiting on y’all like usual.” My mama rudely walked into our bedroom. Yeah, the door was open, but still. You would think this was her house and not the one next door.
I huffed. “Mama, I don’t even know why you’re here. You weren’t on the guest list.”
“Boy, first of all, I don’t have to be on a guest list to come see about my grands. Second, y’all hired my husband to cater this dinner. Where did you think I was going to be?” Her hands went to her hips, and her neck did this twist thing. “I’m gonna be right here with my man.”
I scoffed at her mention of her husband. “I ain’t hire that man to do nothing. That was this one right here. I could have cooked the damn food.”
I hired a nigga to cook one meal for me and my wife years ago, and his ass never left. Next thing I knew, his car was in my mama’s driveway at ungodly hours. I had to let her know that fornication counted for their old asses too. After a while, she got tired of my fussing, so she spent more time at his place. I was happy to know the nigga had his own shit. I mean I knew that when I had Mauri pull his file after him and my mama went on their first date.
Outside of Samuel Dawson being four years older than my mama, there was nothing that I could say I objected to. Well, the fact that he was with my mama, but that was another subject. I gave him her hand in marriage almost six years ago.
Ruth stood from her vanity seat, walked over to me, then wrapped her arms around my waist. “Well, since you could have cooked it, don’t eat anything that Samuel made. You go in the kitchen and cook what you’re going to eat.”
The bridge of my nose scrunched. “Now you’re just talking crazy. Yeah, I could have cooked the food, but since he did, I’m going to eat it. I paid for it.”
“You ain’t pay for shit, Mega. Stop playing with me and ya stepdaddy.” Goldie had this jokey smile on her face. She knew I hated it when she called that man my stepdaddy.
“Mama, I’m a grown man,” I fussed. “Stop that stepdaddy stuff. Y’all come on so we can get to our guests.”
I unwrapped Ruth’s arms from around my waist. She and my mama were on some other stuff. I didn’t have any real beef with Samuel. He was a good dude that made my mother smile permanently. It was hard to see my mama with a man when I never really had. The one time that I did, he had a hand problem, and now he didn’t have any hands, compliments of me. That was over like twenty-five years ago.
When I got to the den, everyone looked up at me like I was out of place in my own house. My daughter and niece sat nextto each other like they were about to walk the plank. Each lil nigglet sat next to their parents. Ryne was here with his mother and father, while Payton was here with only his mother. I took his mother in and how she dressed. She was young, but I would never judge her for that.
“Good evening, folks. Let me go check with the chef to see if dinner is ready.” I had already greeted them when they came into my home. Ryne’s father seemed cool, but I could tell he thought that I was doing too much.
I wasn’t sure what Samuel cooked, but it smelled great. The man could cook anything. “Samuel, what it do?”
“Mega! Mega! Mega!” A little voice called out to me. The fourth little girl who stole my heart climbed out of her seat to rush over to me.
