Page 10 of I'm So Mega
“Megan! What are you doing here?” I opened my arms to receive her. “Girl, you’re getting big. I can barely pick you up.”
She laughed when I tickled her stomach. “Stop, Mega! I made you something.”
I let her down so she could run back to the table to pick up whatever she made me. I moved on the opposite side of the island from where Samuel stood. His eyes were locked on Megan.
“Here! Here!” Megan handed me a piece of paper with a lot of colors on it. Beyond the kaleidoscope of colors, four words were brighter than them all.Best Big Brother Ever!I was sure someone helped her spell the words.
Yep, a nigga had a four almost five-year-old little sister. It was crazy that Megan’s niece and nephews were older than her. I’d admit when my mama and Samuel broke the news to me, I wasn’t happy.
Years Earlier. . .
“Mama Goldie and Samuel inviting us to dinner is so nice,” Ruth cooed. “I wonder what he cooked. It doesn’t even matter because I know it’s going to be amazeballs.”
My head snapped in Ruth’s direction. “Amazeballs? What the hell is that, Ruth? Don’t ever say that again. The only time I want to hear about amazing balls is when my balls are in your. . . Ow!”
She slapped the shit out of me on the back of my head. “Megatron, stop playing with me. Hurry up and get us there so I can eat.”
“Motherhood has made you violent. We’re gonna have to discuss this with Doc in our next session. I will not be the abused husband.” I turned my nose up at her.
She sucked her teeth, told me to shut up, then put her nose back in her e-reader.The disrespect is too real.Dinner was at Samuel’s house which, to me, was a red flag. They spent more time at my mama’s house than his, so why was dinner at his place. I could see through the bullshit. Furthermore, when Mama Naomi told us that she would watch the kids while we had dinner, I knew it was about to be some bullshit. My mama never missed a chance to spend time and feed her grandchildren, so that was red flag number two.
Our house was almost forty minutes away from Samuel’s farm. The man actually lived on a farm and was a true country boy. I was country, but not Samuel’s type of country. I respected the way he lived though. He was a man that wasabout his business, minded his business, and made sure my mama was at the top of that business.
My mother met me and Ruth at the door when we got to the house.Red flag number three.Goldie Manfield Dawson wasn’t that courteous. “My loves! I’m so happy y’all could make it.”
“Hey, Ma. You look nice.” I complimented her. I moved to the side so she and my abusive wife could embrace. Ruth probably learned it from my mama. Goldie was quick to lift a hand and drop it on someone’s head.
My mama brought us straight to the dining room where the food was already on the table. Samuel came out of the kitchen with two beers. “What’s up, Mega, man?”
I dapped him up after he handed me one of the beers. I took a sip before I responded to his question. “Ain’t too much, old dog.”
We all sat down, Samuel said the grace, then we dug in. Baked chicken, collard greens, rice, macaroni, and yams. We talked about a lot of nothing while we ate. I was about to get my second helping of macaroni when my mama cleared her throat.Here we go.
“Samuel and I wanted to invite you here because we wanted to tell you something.” She looked nervous. “I know we haven’t been married that long, but?—”
I threw my hands up. “Man, I know I ain’t give you my mama’s hand in marriage for y’all to tell me it ain’t working out.” I pointed my finger at my mother, at Samuel, then back at my mother. “Y’all better work it out. Divorce ain’t an option around these parts. I’m going to give y’all Draco’s number so y’all can get some marriage counseling.”
“Boy, shut up! Ain’t no one getting divorced!” Mama fussed. She waved me off, then blurted, “I’m pregnant.”
There was a weird taste in my mouth, and my ears started to pop. There was no way my old ass mama said she waspregnant. “What did you just say?” After she repeated herself, I plopped back in my seat. “Now ain’t this some crazy stuff here. Samuel, I told your ass a long time ago that her stuff still damn worked. You thought I was joking? Ruth, you hear this?”
When I turned to look at my wife, she had tears in her eyes and a smile on her face. “Oh my Gosh! Mama Goldie, Pop Samuel, congratulations. This is so amazing!”
“Amazing! You can’t be serious,” I mumbled. “Ma, I’m not sure if you know this, but I’m forty. How the hell you look giving me a brother or sister at my old ass age in your old age.” I stood to my feet. “See, I knew I should have had the talk with this nigga when they first started dating. Now your irresponsible peen got my mama pregnant,” I said before I pointed at Samuel.
Samuel’s head tilted to the side. “Mega, I’m not sure if you know this, but this woman is my whole ass wife. It’s certainly within my rights to get her pregnant. Oh, and as far as my irresponsible peen, your mama gets it every night. Mind your peen, not mine.”
Ruth spit the drink that she just took into her mouth out. My mother sat there with this he just told you smirk on her face like I wouldn’t make her a widow and my brother or sister a fatherless child. The betrayal. “So, you gonna let that man talk to your son like that, Ma? I thought you loved this man. You just gonna let him put his life in danger.”
“Megatron Loric Manfield, I promise if you don’t sit your black ass down, I’m gonna show you whose nuts really drag around this bitch.” She leaned forward on the table. “Sit your ass down.”
I wanted to be defiant, but I knew it wasn’t worth it. When I sat down, Ruth put her hand on my leg. When I turned to her, she gave me a warm smile.
“Megatron, like you told me, you’re forty years old. You know what that means to me? It means your old ass needs to grow up. Married people fuck. If I recall, you and Miss Fuck All Day over there have four kids.”
There was warmness in my heart because my mama never mentioned her grandchildren without mentioning our angel baby, Megha. I loved her for that. She never allowed anyone to forget about my baby boy.
“Mama Goldie! Why did I have to catch a stray?” Ruth’s mouth was dropped open. “I didn’t say anything.”
