Page 38 of Shining Pearls
Alex pulled me tighter into his arms and pressed a kiss down on top of my head before whispering. “You’re amazing. I don’t deserve you.”
Needing to finish my thoughts on the subject, I went on. “We will be there for Josie and this baby, just like we are for our children. They need to be integrated into our family––emotionally and financially. I think we should be as involved in this baby’s life as Josie will allow.”
A rare tear was glistening in one of Alex’s eyes when he pulled back and stared down at me before whispering, “Thank you.”
I nodded, uncertain of my voice as my own tears begin to form.
“Just when I think I can’t possibly love you any more, you prove once again that you are the most remarkable woman alive. You are the only one for me, Claire. Forever.”
With those sweet, healing words, my husband kissed me, and our decision was made. Josie and her baby would be an integral part of our family.
35
Josie
Istared at Dean as he pushed his glasses up on his nose while reading the seemingly-unending directions for putting the new crib together. “Why don’t you say ayuh, instead of yes?”
The question must have seemed like it came out of left field because Dean froze and gave me a strange look.
Deciding I needed to clarify a bit, I said, “You’ve lived here all your life. Everyone else that grew up in Downeast Maine says ayah, but you say yes. Why is that?”
Dean set the instruction booklet aside and sat down with his long legs crossed on the floor in front of the rocking chair where I was seated. “Don’t you remember when you first arrived here?”
At my questioning look, he forged on. “You told me that it was like we had a different version of English here than what people spoke in the Midwest. You said that responding yes made you feel like even more of an outsider, yet if you tried to copy our version of ayuh, it sounded false coming from your lips.”
I nodded, silently encouraging him to go on, since I was still uncertain what this had to do with why Dean didn’t use the local dialect.
Dean shrugged his shoulders. “From that moment on, I decided to switch how I responded in the affirmative to make you feel more welcome and comfortable here. I wanted our town to feel like home to you.”
“You did that for me?” I asked him, stunned that he was able to make such a big change to his speech so thoroughly and instantly.
“Of course.” He waved off the huge gesture as if it wasn’t a big deal. Looking down at the floor, he added quietly. “I’d do anything for you, Josie.”
I had no doubt that he would indeed do anything I asked of him. My concern was that he might give up too much in order to make me happy. Deep down, I knew that he would help me raise this baby, if I gave any indication that was what I wanted. While that would be wonderful for me and my little one, I wasn’t at all sure that raising someone else’s child was the best path for Dean. I cared about him too much to let him step in as a chivalrous gesture that he would regret and end up resenting.
Suddenly looking up, Dean said, “I have a surprise for you!”
He hopped up off the floor with seemingly no effort before helping me as I struggled to stand up from my seat on the rocking chair.
“What is it?” I smiled at him, starting to catch some of his enthusiasm as he took my hand and led me out of the nursery.
“You’ll see,” he teased as we walked into my bedroom. I looked around the room trying to imagine what he could have done in here to surprise me.
While we stood in front of my closed closet door, Dean shoved his hands in his pockets, showing the first sign of nervousness about this big reveal. After clearing his throat, he asked, “Do you remember how you told me that, since they were kids, Alex has always kept a special pink hanger that is reserved exclusively for Claire’s use? You said it must make her feel so cherished and loved, and you told me you wanted to be someone’s pink hanger.”
I nodded my head, despite the queasy feeling that was overtaking me. I had revealed all of that to Dean while I was crying on his shoulder with heartbreak over my lost relationship with Alex. I’d meant that I wanted someone to treat me like I was that important and special, not that I literally wanted a pink hanger of my own.
Sensing that he had placed a pink hanger in my closet to try to give me what I wanted, I attempted to drum up some enthusiasm, even though the constant reminder of Alex and Claire’s perfect relationship was not at all what I wished to see when I got in my closet every day.
Dean seemed so proud of himself as he watched me expectantly. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, especially since he’d been trying to please me, so I forced my lips up into a fake, plastered-on smile.
“Ta-da!” Dean said as he whisked my closet door open.
I stepped forward, delighted to see that the mismatched mess of wire and plastic hangers my clothes normally hung on had all been replaced by silky purple ones––my favorite color. My smile turned into a real one as I gazed at how coordinated and organized my closet looked with the addition of the beautiful, luxurious hangers.
I could feel Dean staring down at me. “I knew you’d prefer purple over pink, and I decided there was no need to stop at just one. Besides, that’s their special thing. We need our own unique twist on it.”
“It looks amazing!” I told him, truly meaning it.
