Page 32 of And Then There Was Us
“I hope I meet a prince someday. Do you think I will?” Layla wrinkled her forehead.
“If, when you’re older, you want to meet a handsome prince, then I’m sure you will, but you are a fine princess all on your own.”
Layla gasped. “Is that why you call me princess? Because I’ll meet a handsome prince one day?”
Brianna bristled. That’s not at all what she’d been thinking when she began calling her princess. “Well, no. I call you princess because you’re my princess. My special girl.” She kissed Layla’s forehead, hating that she wasn’t even six and already worried about finding a handsome prince.
“Look what Grandma’s making!” Layla pulled her toward her mother.
“Hi, Mom. Thanks for taking her.” She kissed her mom on the cheek and peeked into the bowl. “Brownies?”
“Uh-huh,” Layla said. “We’re making them because I was so good today.”
“That sounds great. I’m starved.” She realized that she and Hugh hadn’t eaten anything all day, and she wondered if he was starving, too.
“Did you have a nice day?” her mother asked. Jean Heart was the same height as Brianna, thicker through the waist, with the same straight, dark hair. In her jeans and sweater, she looked relaxed and happy. But Brianna knew her mother’s mind never rested. Brianna had learned how to be efficient and how to multitask from watching her mother manage their lives, and she hoped she was pulling it off just as well.
Brianna sighed and leaned against the counter. “Yeah, it was okay.”
Layla was doing some sort of a jumping game on the tiled floor. “Can I play in the playroom?”
“Sure. I’ll get you when the brownies are ready.” She watched her scamper away. “Was she okay for you?”
Her mom poured the brownie mix into a pan and handed Brianna the chocolate-covered spoon. “She’s always good for me.” She put the brownies in the oven.
“Thanks. I needed this.” She licked the rich deliciousness from the wooden spoon.A poor substitute for sex.
“Want some tea? I just heated up the kettle.” Her mom pulled two mugs from the cabinet.
“Sure.” She set the spoon in the sink and sat down at the small kitchen table. “Mom, do you think I’m a good mother?”
Her mother set a mug of tea in front of Brianna and then sat across from her. She looked at her daughter and smiled, then picked up her mug and sipped the hot tea before answering. Brianna was used to her mother’s careful answers. There was a time when her mother would rattle a quick answer without thinking about it. Much like Brianna, her mother had always worked two jobs, leaving little time for anything other than laundry and cleaning. One day, when Brianna was about twelve, she’d asked her mother why her father left, and her mother had said,Some men can’t take the heat of the kitchen, so they flee the house.That was the day Brianna told her mother—who coincidentally burned more dinners than not—that maybe she should have taken cooking classes so that she could have a father. It was also the last time her mother had given her an off-the-cuff answer. That was one of the reasons Brianna paid full attention to Layla when she spoke to her. She never wanted Layla to feel like anything else in life was more important than her or like she’d made Brianna’s life more difficult. Brianna had made her own life more difficult—and more fulfilled—all in one weekend after college graduation.
“You’re a remarkable mother. All it takes is one look at Layla to know how well adjusted she is, and if you think that has to do with anything but parenting, you’re wrong. She’s doing well because of you.” Her mother tilted her head and narrowed her brown eyes. “Why?”
Brianna shrugged. “I don’t know. I just want to be sure I don’t screw her up somehow.”
Her mother reached across the table and laid her hand on Brianna’s. “You love her too much to do anything that would screw her up. Besides, kids get screwed up all on their own.”
“What does that mean?”Are you talking about me?
“Just that you can do your very best and kids can still fall off track for a while. Look at your graduating class from high school. The valedictorian became a heroin addict three years later. You just never know what will happen, so you do your best, and when they leave your house, you pray you raised them well enough to know right from wrong.”
“Do you think I screwed up myself somehow, Mom?” She slid her hand out from beneath her mother’s, unsettled by the innuendo.
Her mother sighed and her lips lifted to a soft smile that reached her eyes. She brushed her hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear, just like Brianna. “I don’t think you’re capable of screwing yourself up. You love Layla too much. Bree, what’s this about? Is something worrying you?”
Brianna weighed her answers. She could beat around the bush and maybe in an hour she’d know what her mother thought, but she was too nervous to wait an hour. “I met someone.” She kept her eyes trained on her tea.
Her mother leaned across the table and whispered, “You did?”
Brianna lifted her eyes and was surprised to see her mother’s face alit with interest.
“Brianna Marie, come over here.” She took Brianna’s hand and dragged her to the far corner of the kitchen.
“Mom!” She stumbled behind her.
“Out of earshot. Met someone? A man? And?” Her mother touched her arm.
