Page 39 of Promise of a New Beginning
Elise moved to the stone hearth and sat down across from Jack. She folded her hands in her lap and waited, respectfully shifting her eyes away from him as he wiped the tears from his cheek and weighing her words, allowing the truth of them to sink past the dam he’d built within him. The one that kept him upright during the day and anxious at night. They sat in silence for ten or fifteen minutes. It seemed like forever, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Jack didn’t think of what to say next or how to act. He simply allowed himself to be present, to accept and feel the hurt of the reality she’d brought him—and that alone was a huge step forward.
“I got married, Jack, and I have a daughter.”
Jack lifted his head again. This time a smile rose on his lips. “A daughter?” Linda had wanted a family so badly, and so had he. Seeing Aiden had reminded him just how much he wanted a family and how far away he’d pushed that desire.
Elise nodded. “Linda Marlene Rollins. She turned one last month.”
“Linda.” A small laugh escaped his lips. “Linda Rollins.”
She nodded again. “I married Harry Rollins. I’m not sure if you remember him.”
“I do. You had just started dating him a few months before…”
“Yes, that’s him. He’s a great father and a wonderful husband. You’d like him, Jack. At some point, if you’d like, I’d love for you to meet him.” Elise came back to the couch and sat beside him again. “Do you mind that I named her Linda? I tried to contact you before she was born, but no one could reach you.”
“I love that you named her Linda. Does she look like you? Like Linda?”Elise has a child. Her father’s dying.Life was moving on for everyone, ending for others, and Jack remained in the same ugly, angry state that he’d been in two years before. His mind drifted back to Savannah, and he realized that over the last few days, he’d begun to see light at the end of the angry tunnel he’d been stuck in.
“No. She looks like Harry, but she has our eyes. Brown hair and blue eyes and louder than any child I’ve ever met. Totally not me or Linda.” The pride in Elise’s eyes was unmistakable.
Jack nodded. “I’m so happy for you. I’m sure you’re a great mother.”
“And someday, Jack, I hope you’ll allow yourself to be the wonderful father Linda always knew you would be.”
AN HOUR LATER, Jack loaded the bags of Linda’s clothes and the unworn baby clothes into Elise’s car.
“Promise me you’re coming to see Dad tomorrow? No excuses? He’s so fragile right now. I don’t want to tell him and then have you not show up.”
Elise looked at him with such hope that it tugged at Jack’s heart. “I promise. I want this, Elise. I want to deal with all the stuff I’ve buried. I really, really want to move forward. I can’t bring Linda back, and living in an angry state won’t do it, either.”
“You know that Linda wouldn’t ever have let you remain in that state for more than—”
“Ten minutes. I haven’t thought about that since before….” Sadness gripped him again, but somehow, the anger that usually came on the heels of it had been cleansed by their conversation. “Remember the ten-minute rule?” Jack said with a smile.
In unison, they said, “You have ten minutes to be angry, ten minutes to be sad, ten minutes to be anything other than thankful that you have an eleventh minute to look forward to.”
“Do you think she always knew something might happen?” Elise asked as she started her car.
“No. I asked her about that once, and she said it was just a waste of energy to be anything but happy.” He looked away, realizing how disappointed Linda would have been if she knew that not only had he broken her sacred rule, but he’d lived with his anger for two years.
“Speaking of angry, have you spoken to your family?”
“I’m working on it. I’m going to make this right, Elise. Thank you for coming out here and for not turning your back on me when you had every right to.”
She turned smiling eyes up to him. “I’m Linda’s sister. How could you expect anything else? I love you, Jack. I can’t tell you what it means to me to see you without your teeth clenched so tight that I feared they’d crack. I’m proud of you.”
“Don’t be. Besides marrying Linda, I haven’t done anything to be proud of since my military years.” He thought of how proud he’d been back then and how just putting on his uniform had made his chest swell. The man he’d been never would have cowered away behind a cold exterior and hundreds of acres of woods.How have I fallen so far?
“I forgot to ask. Where have you been living? I mean, everyone knows you haven’t been here.”
Jack thought about telling her the truth, but he just wasn’t there yet. That cabin in the woods was still his security blanket, even if he was trying to outgrow it.
“Around.” He leaned into the car and kissed her cheek. “I love you, too, Elise, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She nodded and pulled the car forward, then stopped and stuck her head out the window. “One more thing. Don’t give up on Rush. He’s as stubborn as you are—he learned from the best.”
Jack watched her pull away and felt a little lighter as he crossed the driveway and headed back inside. He’d never cried so much in his life, and he felt as though he’d been drained of everything inside of him—his blood, his energy, and surprisingly, his anger. He closed the door behind him and waited for the ominous feeling that usually followed him into the house to return, but it didn’t come. He glanced cautiously toward the kitchen, expecting Linda’s image to be looking back at him, and when it wasn’t, he felt a tiny shock of sadness and a larger pulse of relief. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He needed air.
He cranked open the casement windows in the living room, and then he opened the glass doors in the dining room that led to the deck, and the brisk night air swept through the small house. The smell of autumn filled his senses and brought a smile to his lips. He closed his eyes again and recalled the feel of Savannah in his arms, all her softness pressed against him, her warm lips on his. He’d fought the urge to think about her since he’d left her the message earlier in the evening. He’d wrestled with guilt over what they’d done and where he was in his life, and since she hadn’t returned his call, he worried that he’d blown the only chance he’d get at being with her. The world had passed him by hour by hour for months on end, and he hadn’t even noticed, and now, every second he believed he’d never see Savannah again felt like a lifetime.
