Page 37 of Promise of a New Beginning
“Well, Connor was a serial cheater. That makes it pretty impossible.”
“True, and we can talk about that, but the others?” Danica held Savannah’s gaze.
Savannah shook her head. “Boring and no kids. Those were deal breakers for me. But they were nice guys and they were professionals, no other glaring issues.”
“So why do you think you have the issue?”
Savannah took a deep breath. “I stayed with Connor for almost two years. He cheated time and time again, and I kept going back, and now…now I’m interested in a guy who is emotionally available only some of the time. When his past bogs him down, he’s blocked off by a wall so thick I can’t break through.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“I thought this was going to be easy. You know, I tell you my trouble and you say,Oh, Savannah, it’s because you’re insecure because your mother wasn’t around to nurture you, or you’re too stubborn for any man to love you.Heck, I don’t know.” She turned away, embarrassed by her inability to even gethaving an issueright.
“Savannah, I didn’t say you don’t have some issues. We all do. I said I don’t see a pattern with your choices in men. So, this recent guy, is he so blocked off you can’t get through or you won’t make the effort to get through? In other words, are you trying and he’s resisting?”
“Sheesh, Danica. This is why I don’t go to therapists. You ask the hard questions that I don’t want to answer.” Savannah was irritated but only with herself.
“Hey, you came to me. We don’t have to talk.” Danica pushed herself to her feet and brushed off her jeans. Savannah reached up and pulled her back down.
“That’s another thing. Don’t therapists have any fight in them? You’d walk away and leave me all conflicted?”
“Sometimes the only way to work things out is to reach deep inside and pull out the muck so you can see a little clearer. If I’m here to dig you out every step of the way, you’ll never want or need to clear the way yourself. Wow, I really do sound like a therapist. It’s been years since I closed my practice, and here I am spouting off this stuff.” Danica laughed.
Savannah watched Riley whisper in Josh’s ear, and again she longed for that closeness. “See, even you don’t like it. But the truth is, I need you to push me.” She loved Danica and she trusted her, and something told her that she needed to reach out with honesty in order to get some answers. “It’s Jack Remington. He’s the one I hooked up with over the weekend, and he’s the one I can’t stop thinking about.”
“And he’s the one whose wife died.” Danica put her hand on Savannah’s arm. “That is a tough one, but unless he’s sleeping with multiple women, there’s no connection to what you experienced with Connor, so it’s still not a pattern.”
“He’s not. Before me, he hadn’t had sex with a woman for two years.” Savannah waited for Danica’s jaw to drop or for her to laugh and say,No really, how long has it been?But Danica didn’t do either of those things. She nodded and drew her eyebrows together.
“Wow, that’s a lot of hurt, and if he really did become as reclusive as Blake said, then he’s probably buried it all beneath some other emotion.”
“Anger,” Savannah admitted. “He is pretty gruff when you first meet him, and he’s riddled with guilt, but not always, and when it falls away, he’s tender and loving, and passionate, and…”
“Does he have angry outbursts? Is he aggressive?” Danica asked.
“No.” Savannah shook her head. “When I first met him, he was just walled off. And he spent a lot of time trying not to look at me. Or talk to me. You know the type. He spoke forcefully no matter what the topic was, one firm tone. No smiles, except when he spoke to the little boy who was there. He actually smiled when he spoke to him.”
“He does sound a little boxed off. How’d you two come together? What changed?”
Savannah leaned back and put her weight on her palms. She crossed her legs at the ankles as she remembered the night she’d seen the bobcat and how scared she’d been. “I went into the woods at night to go to the bathroom, and there was a bobcat that I hadn’t seen. And suddenly Jack was there, rescuing me. Before that there was all this attraction between us, a buildup of sexual energy that was red-hot, but we both had these brick walls up—me because of Connor and him…well, you already know why. And when he saved me from the bobcat, it was like all those walls came tumbling down, whether we wanted them to or not.”
Danica leaned back beside Savannah. “Well, that all sounds very normal to me, not at all worrisome. Now, if you were really the one who pulled him out of his celibacy, then that could go one of two ways. Either there’s some meaningful connection that can’t help but continue to grow, or he’ll deal with his issues and move on. Like you broke the dam, and it was wonderful, but he might want to explore what else washes in.”
“You don’t sugarcoat things, do you?” Savannah looked at Danica, and she still had a serious look in her eyes. “What?”
“Nothing. It’s funny, you know? I’m with Blake, who had too many women for any one man, and here you are with the opposite problem, but the worry is the same. Savannah, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say this even though I don’t really know your full history or what you’ve gone through in relationships. And I’m going to say this as the woman who married into your family. Not as a therapist but as a friend. I would imagine that the only thing you’re up against as far as picking the wrong guys goes is that you are very successful and beautiful, and that’s a threatening combination for many men. But beyond that, you’re just looking for your forever love, so follow your heart. If Jack turns out not to be ready—and there’s a good chance that he’s not—then what have you lost?”
My heart.“A little self-respect.” Her cheeks grew warm again thinking about the things she and Jack had done in the woods. “I’ve already done more—and different—intimate things with him than I have with any other guy, and Iwantedto.”
A smile stretched across Danica’s lips. She leaned in close and whispered, “That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. That means you’re wildly attracted to him.”
Danica watched Blake crossing the grass, and in her eyes Savannah saw love, want, and a hint of the intimacy between them. She wondered if the look that Treat had seen in her eyes earlier that afternoon, and Josh and Riley had seen when she’d listened to Jack’s message, was similar to what she saw in Danica’s. She felt her cell phone in her pocket, and she knew the answer was only a phone call away.
Chapter Twenty-One
THE KNOCK WAS so faint that Jack almost didn’t hear it. He lifted his head from his arms and pushed himself from the spot on the floor where he’d been sitting since he hung up the phone with Elise. The second he opened the door, there would be no turning back. Jack tried to picture Linda’s sister. The last time he’d seen her was shortly after Linda’s accident. She’d been as torn up as Jack was. He took a deep breath and pulled the door open.
“Jack.” Elise walked in without giving Jack time to react, and she wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face to his chest.
