Page 83 of The Art of Loving Lacy
She’d had a lot of time to think in the week since the accident, and once the ache of Rob’s scare eased, the loss of Dane took over. She’d thrown herself back into work, and even now, as she tried to form a strategic plan for one client and a marketing concept for another, her mind waded back through that thick fog of pain to the memories of her and Dane together.
Dane hadn’t called her and she hadn’t reached out to him, although every night before bed she’d turned on Skype and set her cell phone by her bed, just in case. She longed to hear his voice, but each time she thought about calling him, she remembered Sheila standing at Rob’s bedside, not knowing if he’d live or die. That was enough to keep her from punching in his speed dial number.
“Can I see you for a minute, Lacy?” Fred asked from her office doorway.
“Sure, of course. Come in.”
Fred closed the door behind him and sat across from her desk.
“Lacy, were you there when Rob had his accident?” Fred asked.
“No. I wasn’t on the boat with them, if that’s what you’re asking,” she said.
He nodded. “And did you get really close to him while you were there?”
Lacy narrowed her eyes. “Rob? Not really close, but we became friends. We had dinner together. I spent time with his wife and children. Actually, yes, I guess I would say we were close.”
“Do you need some time off? I know you said you didn’t want any time off originally, but I’ve noticed your work hasn’t been up to your usual high standard.”
Lacy saw the worry in Fred’s serious gaze and the way he leaned forward when he brought up her quality of work, like he was saying something even he didn’t want to hear.
Yes. I’d like a lifetime off. I want to disappear and never have to think again. Or feel. Or be.“I’m sorry, Fred. I know my work hasn’t been up to par, and I promise to do better, but I don’t want time off. I need to keep my mind occupied.”
“I’m worried about you, Lacy. Are you sure you don’t want to go visit your sisters, or spend some time just relaxing? Tasha can handle covering for a few days,” Fred said.
Before going to Chatham, the idea of Tasha covering for her just to take time off would have knocked her from her seat. Now, sitting with Fred and begging him to let her do a subpar job to keep her mind off of Dane seemed ridiculous. Maybe she should take time off. Heaven knows that every time she walked by Fred’s office, she remembered finding Dane there. Maybe she should go visit Kaylie and the kids and immerse herself in them for a while. Or maybe she should take off work and stay home and wallow in her loneliness. Either way, having Fred look at her with pity wasn’t the answer, even if it meant Tasha earning the promotion she had wanted so badly.I don’t care anymore.The truth of her thought startled her.
She needed to clear the chaos from her mind. She glanced at the clock. “I really appreciate your concern, Fred. I’ll think about it while I’m at lunch. Can we talk later this afternoon?” Lacy promised herself she wouldn’t dwell on Dane while she was at lunch. She’d get a cold Diet Pepsi, aPeoplemagazine, and sit at the café down the street and just veg for a while.
“EVERYTHING SUCKS. THAT’s just the way my life is right now.” Lacy held the cell between her shoulder and ear as she pulled out of the office parking lot.
“I know it feels that way, Lace, but you’re really very blessed when you look at the bigger picture,” Danica said.
“Oh, I know. I have a great family, a good job that I might have just jeopardized, and I’ve got a nice place to live. I think I’m just tired and stressed. I’m going to grab a rag mag and chill for an hour. And I’m not going to think about Dane. Uh oh…hold on.” Lacy slammed on her brakes and dropped the phone in her lap. “Jerk,” she yelled at the car that cut her off. She looked down for a split second to retrieve her phone and stepped on the gas to cross the intersection. Lacy never saw the Honda Civic coming her way, and she never heard Danica’s scream coming through the phone when the sound of metal against metal sent her car spinning and her phone flying through the air.
Chapter Thirty-Three
IT WAS A typical New England evening. Dane sat on the deck of Treat’s bungalow, having decided not to return to Florida after all. He wanted to be able to visit Rob as he recovered and be there for Sheila. They were both doing much better. Rob was getting stronger by the day, and without the ventilator, he was able to speak freely, even if a tad gravelly. He and Sheila were looking forward to returning to their home in Florida, and they were grateful for Dane’s generosity, as he covered Sheila’s hotel stay and any medical bills that insurance didn’t cover. He’d offered Rob a job with Brave on the boat or in the office—the choice was up to him—and for as much as his friend’s life was coming together, Dane felt unglued within his own.
Every time he thought about going back to his boat, he thought of Lacy. He knew he’d see her in the cabin and feel her in bed beside him. He’d stayed in Treat’s cottage to avoid being in the cabin of that boat because the memories were too fresh, his emotions too raw. He’d done the right thing. At least he thought he had. Who was he to ask her to live a life surrounded by risk and worry when she’d so willingly been overcoming her own fears? He loved her too much to allow that. As he watched the sun set over the bay, he knew that another reason he’d stayed in Massachusetts was that the act of physically leaving would finalize their breakup. As silly as it seemed, somehow being in the same state made him feel closer to her.
His cell phone rang.Dad.His family had been all over him for ignoring their calls after Rob’s accident, but in the end they’d all understood his need to be alone. He picked up the phone.
“Hi, Dad.”
“How are you doing, son?”
Hal’s voice wrapped itself around Dane.
Lonely. Sad. Feeling like taking a step on a boat might hurt too much.“Not bad. How about you?”
“Fairly well. I was down at the barn this afternoon with Hope. She’s doing well. Strong. Rex takes good care of her.”
When his mother had first become ill, his father had bought her Hope, a mare, and his father treated Hope as though Dane’s mother lived within her. Although that had always bothered Dane, he knew it brought his father comfort, and for that he was grateful.
“Good, Dad.”
“Dane, what are you doing out at Treat’s place? Why aren’t you back home?” his father asked.
