Page 81 of The Art of Loving Lacy
“Is he…” She couldn’t say the word.
“He’s awake. He woke up,” Sheila shrieked. She hugged Lacy. “I was holding his hand and talking to him and I felt his fingers move. I thought it was just me hoping, but then I felt it again, and then his eyelids moved.”
“He’s a-alive?” Lacy asked.
“Alive and awake, Lacy.” Sheila hugged her again. “The doctor’s with him now. Thank goodness, he’s awake,” she cried.
THEY’D SPENT FORTY-FIVE minutes with Sheila, and during that time, Lacy’s mind and body came back to her. The doctors said that Rob appeared not to have any mental deficits, but his breathing was shallow and he was still being treated prophylactically for aspiration pneumonia. He’d need to remain in the hospital and he’d need the breathing tube until his lungs recovered. He’d been mildly sedated when they’d left, but not before seeing him write a note to Sheila that read,I’m so sorry.
Danica, Kaylie, and Lacy had returned to the cottage, and Rob’s note haunted her.Was he sorry that he’d gone diving again? Sorry that he’d been hurt? Or sorry that he hadn’t listened to Sheila when she’d first begun asking him to change careers?
Kaylie was in the kitchen fixing lunch.Food always helps my kids when they’re upset, she’d said, and Danica had been watching Lacy as if she were about to jump off a bridge.
“You didn’t have to come here, but I’m glad you did,” Lacy said.
“When Max called and told us what had happened, I was worried, but I knew you’d call if you needed us. But then, when we couldn’t reach you and Max said no one could reach Dane, I started to worry,” Danica said.
“Maybe Dane went back home.” Lacy’s voice was just above a whisper. It hurt to say his name, and knowing that he might have left the state brought another wave of sadness. She curled her feet beneath her on the couch. The couch where she’d tried to seduce Dane.Stop it.She swallowed against the lump in her throat.
“Blake called his father’s house and he’s not there,” Danica said.
“No. I meant his home. He lives on a boat in Florida when he’s not traveling,” Lacy said.
Kaylie brought a plate with grilled cheese sandwiches into the living room and set it on the coffee table. “Comfort food,” she said.
“Thanks, Kaylie,” Lacy said.
“Lacy, I don’t want to sound ignorant, but from what Danica shared with me, it sounded as if you and Dane were headed down lover’s lane. Why would Rob’s accident change that?” Kaylie picked up a sandwich and took a bite. “I swear grilled cheese really does help.”
“I’m not sure anything will help this,” Lacy said. “We were heading in that direction, or maybe we had already found the lane and run down it, but Rob’s accident changed everything. After Danica and I talked—Oh wow, this hurts so bad.” Tears fell from her eyes. “I love him so much that everything hurts. From my eyes to my stomach to my frigging feet. I ache all over. I miss him so much.”
Danica pulled her close. “I’m sorry.”
Lacy took a deep breath and continued. “We tried to figure out how our relationship could possibly work. He wanted me to travel with him.” She smiled through her tears at the memory of his friendship proposal. Her smile faded as more recent memories invaded her mind. “Then Rob had his accident and I realized—he realized—we both realized that I could give up everything to be with him and something like this could happen. Or worse, he could get killed. Rob was lucky.”
“But, Lacy, something could happen to anyone,” Danica reminded her. “Look at Blake’s partner. He died in a skiing accident. Something could happen walking across the street.”
“I know, but still. I can’t change my life to be with him, no matter how much I love him, knowing that I could end up losing him any day that he went to work. Sheila told me how hard it was to be married to Rob because of what they do. She worried every day. Then her kids began worrying. You know that every day you love someone you just love them more—and I love him so much already.”
“I know you do,” Kaylie said. “It’s written all over your face, like a crack that says,Fix me. Please get Dane to fix me.”
“How can I go into a relationship knowing I’d be tortured every day with worry? It seems unhealthy at the least, and unfair, and…I don’t know. Danica, don’t you have any support for me here?”Please tell me what to do.
Danica sighed. “Lacy, honey, I can’t tell you what to do. You have valid concerns, and you’re right. You’ll probably worry every day. Every job has risks. Granted his is riskier than most, but still. Women marry police officers and firefighters all the time.”
“Seeing Sheila mourning her husband as he lay there in the hospital bed—”
“I know it was difficult, but he lived, Lacy. He’s okay,” Danica said.
“This time,” Lacy said. “I don’t think I can do it.”And Dane doesn’t want to.“Especially now that I can’t deny how unsafe his job really is.” She touched her thigh. “He asked me to leave,” she whispered.
“He…You were both in shock. I’m sure he didn’t mean it,” Danica said.
“Maybe you should go talk to him, Lace,” Kaylie suggested.
“I can’t. If I see him, I’ll see Rob and then I’ll see Sheila falling apart and wondering how she’ll survive. And then the kids’ little faces. You should have seen how scared they were when we arrived at the hospital,” Lacy said.
“Everyone goes through scary trips to the hospital at some point,” Danica said.
