Page 41 of Sweet Escape at Bayside
He locked up the helmets and reached for her hand, feeling so full of love he was sure no one in the world had ever loved a person as much as he did right at that moment. But when Violet’s eyes caught his, he knew he was wrong.
“Have you volunteered at the soup kitchen?” he asked.
“A few times.”
“Would you have come to this appreciation day if you didn’t need to catch up with Rowan?”
She was quiet for a moment before shaking her head.
“Because you don’t want to be appreciated by others?”
“Yesis on the tip of my tongue,” she said sharply. “But you make me want to figure out why my first instinct is to say yes. I think it’s because when I was a kid there was no better feeling than having Ted tell me how much he appreciated things I did, like watching out for Desiree or helping set the table. I loved the positive reinforcement, and I wanted to earn his praise. But when Lizza took me away, it felt like all that stuff he said wasn’t real. Because how can you love and appreciate someone but let them go?” She inhaled a ragged breath and blew it out slowly. “But I loved and appreciatedyou, and thenIleft. My feelings for you weren’t fake. I’m beginning to understand that nothing is black-and-white and what I’ve always believed may not necessarily be true.”
“Ted loves you, babe. Nobody could fake the look in his eyes or the pride in his voice when he talked about you.”
“I hope that’s true, but I’m still messed up, because I wouldn’t have come here for myself. But don’t worry. I’m trying to figure out why.”
He kissed her softly and said, “You can’t imagine how happy that makes me. I want you to feel good about letting your bright light shine for all to see.”
“There’s something else I want you to know. I’m going to talk to Desiree when she gets back from her honeymoon and tell her everything—about volunteering, working with Joni, sculpting…”
Surprise rose in his eyes. “You are?”
“Yup. That gives me a few weeks to mentally prepare for our cards-on-the-table moment. You should be a therapist with all the stuff you’ve got me spewing.” She pulled him across the parking lot. “Now, let’s go. I feel naked.”
He chuckled.
“Keep laughing. I’ve got a store full of sex toys and I’m not afraid to use them.”
“As long as they’re not replacing me, I’m cool with that,” he said heatedly.
“I meant use them onyou.”
He stopped walking.
She laughed and tugged him toward a sandy path that cut through the dunes to the beach. “You know that uncomfortable feeling you’ve got right now?” she said when they stopped to take off their boots at the edge of the path. “It’s about half as uncomfortable as I feel every time you get me to think about stuff I don’t want to think about.”
“Damn, baby. I’m sorry.”
“Nothing worth anything in this life comes easily, right?” As they crossed the dunes she said, “Isn’t that what everyone says?”
“Violet!”
They spun around and saw a little girl running toward them wearing a blue button-down shirt with a fluffy green tutu. Her skinny little arms were spread wide, her fine brown hair floating above her shoulders. A guy stood at the end of the path in shorts and a colorful striped Baja hoodie.
“Hold that thought,” Violet said. “That’s Joni and Rowan.” She scooped up the excited little girl and twirled her around. “Hey, peanut butter.”
Little-girl giggles filled the air. “Hey, jelly! Do you like my tutu?”
“That’s a spectacular tutu,” Violet exclaimed. “Did you get it from a gorilla at the bank?”
Joni buried her giggling face in Violet’s neck and said, “No.” Then her head popped up and she said, “I got it from the mermaid at the zoo!”
They all laughed. Joni was adorable, with crooked baby teeth, happy brown eyes, and so much love for Violet it radiated off her. He wished Violet would let everyone see this warmer, animated side of herself.
Violet said, “Joni, this is my very special friend, Andre.”
“Hi!” Joni said. “Where didyouget your shirt from?”
