Page 53 of Unraveling the Truth About Love
Chapter Twenty-Two
RILEY HAD BEEN hunkered down, laboring over Josh’s dining room table all afternoon and into the evening, adding the final touches to Max’s wedding gown design. She’d changed into a cotton skirt that reached her ankles and a thin sweater, the sleeves pushed up to her elbows. Music filtered into the room through an intercom in the wall just beside the doorframe where Josh wasleaning in his pressed jeans and polo shirt, a steaming mug of hot chocolate in each hand. She’d been working for hours, and Josh had tried to leave her alone and not hover like a needy boyfriend, but he found himself drawn to her, and every half hour or so he’d wandered into the room just to touch her shoulder or kiss her cheek. He loved knowing she was there. His apartment had felt different sinceshe’d arrived. The starkness he’d felt that morning had dissipated. Now it felt more like home.
Riley set down her pencil and lifted her head, smiling when she noticed Josh. “Sorry I’ve been at it for so long,” she said.
“I could get used to this.” He handed her a warm mug.
“Mm. Thank you.” She took a sip. “Now I see why you moved here. Until the sun went down, the warmth of its rays throughthe windows was so inspiring. I swear, if I were you, I’d forget the office and just stay right here.” She ran her finger over the intricate carvings on the edge of the stately dining room table, upon which Josh had laid a worktop that he’d had specially made for the surface. “Of course, it does put a damper on the beauty of your dining room to have notes and drawings scattered about.”
He pulledout a chair and sat beside her. “I never entertain, so the dining room has been unused for the most part. It can get too quiet here when I’m alone.”
“I can see that. When I was talking with Max, I realized how much I missed working with the public. I know I have to learn the business, and I appreciate the opportunity, but I do miss interacting with customers.”
“You’ll do just that with the buyersat the trade show, and this”—he pointed to the wedding gown—“this will bring you to a whole other level. But do you think you’ll be happy when you’re a designer? There’s a lot of pressure, even more so than when you’re assisting, even though it seems the assistants do all the dirty work. And the people you’re designing for, at our level, they’re not Weston customers. Some of them are notoriouslypicky, conceited bastards. A designer’s life is not as glamorous as it looks from the outside.”
She reached out and touched his thigh. “I know. I’m not that naive. Josh, I know you love designing, but how do you really feel about the business of it? It’s just you and me here, and I’d never say anything to anyone.”
He looked at her then and knew he wanted to share this with her. There was noone in Josh’s life that he’d shared his real feelings about the business with, and he’d often wished there were. He put his hand on top of hers, and when he opened his mouth, the words tumbled out without hesitation.
“My whole life I have wanted to design. I was the kid who would critique the other kids at school. Only in my head, of course, and I didn’t do it purposely. It was like this littlevoice in my head would think, ‘If only she’d worn black heels instead of brown flats,’ or something equally as obnoxious. I’d watch Rex with all of his macho bravado, Dane with his penchant for risk taking, or Hugh and his need for speed, and for a while I wondered where I’d fit in.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Oh, Josh,” she whispered. “That’s so sad.”
“Not sad. It just made me work harder to figureout who I was. I’m loyal, dedicated—”
“Handsome, strong,” Riley added.
“I guess, and I’m nothing if not honest. I’m a definite Braden in all those ways, but I think I’m just more like my mother in the way that I like things to have a certain aura about them. She was like that, from what Treat says. He used to tell me that some mornings when he was young he’d wake up and the living room furniturewould be completely reorganized. He said she’d just smile, like she’d done what any normal person would have done, and she’d lift her palms to the ceiling and say something like, ‘The energy in the room shifted’ or ‘The couch was blocking the sun from moving freely.’” He smiled at the memory. “Anyway, what I realized was that I’m every bit a Braden. I’ve got my father’s masculine looks and strength,but my mother’s design abilities.” His father, Hal Braden, was Treat’s height, and a rancher to his core, like Rex.
“And now that you’re in the business? Do you ever regret it?”
“No, never. The business has changed, though, and you probably don’t see it, but high fashion used to be exclusively for the wealthy. Fashion shows used to be the only way for buyers to get their hands on the new lines,but now, with the Internet and fashion at the world’s fingertips, it’s a whole different ball game. We have to stay three steps ahead at all times,” he explained.
“I know. I’ve read a lot about it. It’s no longer exclusively for the rich, but in some ways that’s a good thing,” Riley said.
“Absolutely. I agree, but it does mean working harder to set yourself apart. But it’s like anything elsethese days. Look at music and books. The minute they went online, prices dropped and numbers increased. It’s the way of the world.”
“Do you ever miss the less stressful side of things? Do you miss Weston?” Riley asked.
“When I first moved here, I was so glad to be out of the small-town environment that I think I didn’t miss it because of that. I finally lived someplace where the world didn’trevolve around horses and livestock. I know that sounds snotty, but at first, I did feel that way. After a while, and recently, I’ve missed something that I hadn’t even realized I’d left behind.” He looked away, realizing that he was about to reveal one of the most intimate things about himself to Riley.
“What was it?” she asked.
Her voice drew him back, and the love in her eyes brought himthe comfort he needed to continue. “Seeing real love. A love that wasn’t driven by what someone could give a person, or their social stature. The one thing I had in my house that I’ve never seen replicated, except recently with Treat and Max and Rex and Jade, was the love my father had for my mother and the love he has always had for each of us. It’s almost like a physical being rather than a feeling,as stupid as that sounds.”
“But…”
“I know. My mother wasn’t there, so how could I see it? Riley, my mom died, but my father’s love for her is present in everything he does and says. He still talks to her, even now, so many years later. He swears she’s still around the ranch.” He searched her eyes for disbelief, but what he found was the complete opposite. Riley took his hands in hers and hereyes shone bright again.
“I believe that happens. I do. I think if you love someone enough, they never really leave. They’re always there in spirit.”
“You do?”
“Yes. I always have,” Riley answered.
He shook his head. “I never questioned it until I was an adult, and then I worried that maybe my father was a bitoff. But the love that drives him is so real, Riley. That’s what I’ve missed most.Seeing that love alive in his eyes. Feeling that love that he has for me and my sister and brothers. That kind of love isn’t all around you in the city—I doubt it’s abundant anywhere. But it’s always been there for me, and that’s what I miss most. I want to feel that love in my home and in my life. New York is fast and furious. Not that I want to move back home, but I want the warmth and depthof the love that exists there in my life. Here, in New York.” He moved his chair closer to her, settling her knees between his. “I missed that until you and I reconnected. I knew when we were at the concert that there was something about you that was different from anyone else. Riley, you filled that gap in my heart, and I hope that one day you feel the same way about me.”
RILEY KNEW THE dangers of bad relationships. She’d seen people fall out of love and she’d had too many friends feel second best to their boyfriend’s careers or hobbies. The span of time that had passed since she and Josh had gotten together was shorter than the amount of time it took to get a gun permit. But she had to admit that she felt every bit as in love with Josh as he was with her.
“I’mnot one of those girls who spent years planning her perfect wedding, or conjuring up details of the perfect man. In fact, now that I think about it, I’ve spent very little time of my almost thirty-two years on earth thinking about settling down at all. I guess I always figured that if it was going to happen, it would happen, and I’d know when it was right.” Her heart swelled with love for him,and when she continued, her voice was thick with proof. “I didn’t feel fireworks when we first kissed. I felt the earth move, Josh. And every minute we’ve spent together since has had that same soul-altering effect. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing—making love or working. I think of you when you’re with me and I long for you when you’re not. You fill my heart too, and I want to make you feel everybit as wanted as you make me feel, and every bit as complete. I lived a long time without you by my side, and now I can’t understand how that ever felt right.”
Josh pulled her onto his lap and kissed her. His kisses were heavenly. The way he moved his tongue around her mouth, exploring and caressing with each swipe of his tongue sent a shiver of heat through her. The impulse to make love to himcame fast and hard. She kissed the line of his jaw, his neck, his collarbone. She couldn’t stop herself from taking his neck in her mouth and sucking until he groaned. All the talk of love and forever had her heart reeling. She put her hand on his stomach, feeling the ripples of his abs beneath the thin cotton of his shirt, and the urge heightened like a wild animal being set free. She took hisface in her hands and kissed him again. When he wrapped his strong hands around her ribs and lifted her to the table, she knew he was feeling just as feverish—crazed with urgency—as she was.
