Page 1 of Shattered Dreams
Prologue
“What’s wrong?” Maxwell “Max” Rodkin softly questioned the quiet submissive sitting at his feet. In the past six weeks that he’d been scening with Elizabeth “Lizzie” Danders, he’d thought they’d become close. But tonight, when she’d come into the club, something had been different about her. It wasn’t just the fact that she’d been wearing a sexy cream-colored lace shirt that covered her from neck to thigh and then to her wrists. There was something he just couldn’t put his finger on. And like a dog with a bone, he refused to let it go. “I asked you a question, sub. I expect an answer.”
A strangled sound escaped her before she finally shook her head. “I just can’t get out of my head tonight, Master. Too much going on in there, and I don’t know how to shut it off.”
“Do I need to spank it out of you?” Max asked softly, his attention riveted by the dark head resting against his knee. While he wasn’t always in the dominant role, he found himself always there when dealing with the lovely woman kneeling at his feet.
“Maybe?” She didn’t sound all that certain. “No. Yes. Hell, maybe I shouldn’t have come here tonight?”
“Then why did you?” Max strove for patience but came up short. He hated that Lizzie had another man in her life, best-friend or not, he wanted Lizzie to be his and his alone.
“Because after dealing with Rainy earlier, I just need to…” She sighed heavily. “…you know what? Screw this.” She moved to stand, obviously intending to leave him.
He caught her arm as she turned. “If you don’t want to scene anymore, then safe word and it ends right here. But just because you’re frustrated with something outsidemycontrol, doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be disrespectful. Got it?”
Her shoulders slumped. “Yes, Master.”
“Good.” He tugged her onto his lap. “Now we’re going to sit here quietly and talk this out. Why you are so desperate to escape whatever is going on, and why you think you need to.”
She groaned in frustration – and not of the sexual kind. “Why?”
“Because, at the moment, I’m the top. You agreed to give me control, and I refuse to cede that unless you’re safe wording. Any dominant worth their salt cares about what happens to their submissive. This isn’t just about sex or physical intimacy.”
She bowed her head, the dark strands of her hair hiding her face from his view. It irritated him.
Using his finger, he tipped her head up. “Don’t hide from me. Just tell me what has you so riled.”
“What do you know about self-harming?” she finally asked.
“You mean like cutting?” He pushed up her sleeve to reveal the silvery marks on the inside of her arms, it was one of the things he’d first noticed during their first scene together. Which of course, had led to the rule that she contact him if she felt the need in the future. He’d give her the pain that she needed in a safe environment. He rubbed his thumb over one. “I know some people use it to relieve stress.” He shifted her closer. “Much like some subs need a good maintenance spanking to put them back on the straight and narrow.”
She nodded. “Some people do it because of that, but others…” A tear leaked from the corner of her eye. “…they do it for darker reasons. Rainy falls into that category. He can’t handle sizeable crowds, he can’t be in open spaces. Usually, he likes to sleep in the closet of our bedroom, but will come out for meals in our small kitchen, or sit in the utility room to chat with me while I do laundry.”
“I see.” He rubbed a circle on her back, fighting the urge to growl. He hated that this other man had upset his girl. “Go on.”
“I went in tonight to let him know I was coming here, and I caught him with that damned lighter.” Her slight frame shook. “He was lighting it, letting the metal heat, then pressing it to the inside of his thighs. The smell of burned skin and hair was horrible, but not as horrible as the blisters dotting his legs. God, there must’ve been about thirty of them. I took the lighter away and made him promise to stay put or I’d take him back to the hospital. He just looked so defeated…and I can’t get that look out of my mind. I shouldn’t have come here when he’s struggling but…”
“But what?” he gently prodded. He needed to understand.
“Sometimes I just can’t deal with it anymore…I love him, but I can’t fix him and it kills me.”
He stilled. “You love him?”
She nodded. “He’s like the brother I’ve never had. We grew up in the same foster home.”
Relief flowed through him. A brother he could deal with – as long as it wasn’t another man vying for her affections. “So, you’re worried about him?”
“Yeah. I start to relax, then I remember the defeated look on his face, and how I shouldn’t be here with you, when he’s in such a dark place.”
He brushed his thumb over her lower lip. “Would it help if we went and got him?”
“I…get him?” She was clearly confused.
“Why not?” He lifted her off his lap. “It’s obviously bothering you, and that bothers me. So, we’re going to fix it.”
“Are you sure, Master? You obviously wanted to scene since you requested that we meet here.”
He sighed as he stood. “Which will not happen if you’re worried about your brother. So, let’s assuage that worry, and then see what the rest of the night brings us.”
