Page 34 of Shrouded Desires
Raine was quiet for a few minutes and Storm allowed him the time to process his words. When he finally spoke it wasn't what he expected to hear from his sub. "I don't want to think about more than we agreed upon, Sir. I'm content with what we have at the moment."
"Which is?" Storm was generally curious to get a glimpse of how Raine viewed their power exchange.
"Lots of routine for me with a healthy dose of sex on side, Sir." He rested his head against Storm's shoulder. "The routine calms me, makes it easier for me to function. The sex - the sex was outta of this world! But the fact remains that I suffer from social anxiety and change is hard for me."
"So you don't think you'd ever want more?" Storm felt his heart sinking. Why had he thought that boy would leap at the idea of having something more with him.Because every other sub always wanted more.
"I can't say I'll never want more, Sir. But you've laid out clear cut boundaries for me. I know what to expect, and....that helps me relax and just be your submissive without worrying that I'm fucking it up."
"And not fucking it up, is a big thing to you?" The light was starting to go off in his head. It now made sense why Raine was a service sub. Serving his dom, making their life easier, was essential to Raine as breathing. He didn't see his submission as a sexual thing like many of the subs Storm had played with in the past. He was happy just serving.
"Yeah. I want to make my Dom happy. It just doesn't have to be in the bedroom. I like keeping the books at the club because I know it helps both you and Master. I enjoy making sure there is food here for you to eat, and that you have clean sheets on your bed and fresh towels in your bathroom."
"And I appreciate those things, boy. Not gonna say that they don't pale in comparison to what we just experienced, but it's been a long time since someone has taken care of me. I’ve been a bachelor for a long time." He rested his chin on top of Raine's head. "However, I'd like to see where this is gonna go. I won't push you. The last thing I wanna do is harm you, Raine. But we'll take it day by day and see how you like being mine.”
“And what if I can’t, Sir?”
“Then we’ll just chalk the whole thing up to experience, Raine. All I ask is that you don’t shoot it down because you’re scared. Talk to me. What ever it is, we can overcome it together. Trust me.”
For a second or two, Storm thought Raine was going to deny him, but finally the smaller man spoke. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Thank you, boy.” He pressed a soft kiss to the top of Raine’s hair. It wasn’t the happily ever after or any of that romantic crap, but there was a possibility of their arrangement becoming more. It would be enough for now.It has to be – for now.
* * *
The next two weeks passed in a blur for Raine as he and Storm settled into their new normal. In fact, he'd never been more content, or balanced as he was under the firm hand of his Master, his daddy. It seemed odd at first referring to Storm as Daddy, but as he experienced the other man's protective streak and his genuine care, he found it easier each day. The Sir honorific was slowly being replaced by the other, and each time he whispered it around Storm the other man seemed to light up. He loved pleasing the other man.And it such a small thing.
He rolled over on the narrow twin bed tucked in the storage space under the stairs. He'd taken to spending a few hours in his prior bedroom after lunch each day. Storm was normally busy with club business or off to see Master. He missed the room dreadfully. It had been his sanctuary for so long. That didn’t stop him, however, from being able to sleep comfortably in Storm's arms. For a man who originally claimed he didn’t want or need affection, the man gave killer snuggles. He still could remember the first time. It had been about a week after their scene downstairs, and Storm had refused to let him return to the closet...
"...stay, boy."
The gruff order had surprised Raine. They had just finished another whirlwind round of sex - which had become a daily occurrence since their scene. Daddy had one helluva an appetite for his boy.
"Ok...for a little bit." He flopped back down on the mattress next to Storm. He held himself still as a statue when Storm reached across his body to flick off the light on the bedside table. As the room plunged into darkness, Raine had waited with his eyes wide open for Sir to make his move. But other than to pull Raine against his side, the man had buried his nose in the hair at the nape of Raine's neck, then sighed and drifted off to sleep. He’d meant to get up and return to his space in the closet, but had found his eyes getting heavy…
How long he'd lain there that first night listening to Storm's steady breathing, he had no idea. But he'd eventually slept because the next morning he'd awoken to a cup of coffee from a smiling Storm. He'd taken it wordlessly after sitting up with his back against the headboard. He'd cradled the cup between his palms and expected Storm to broach the subject of their sleeping arrangements. Instead, his dominant had allowed him to drink his coffee, shower, then dress before returning for his morning spanking. It still had hurt, but there had been an extra layer of caring that surprised Raine.
"Maybe that's it." Raine tossed his arm over his eyes. "Ever since I started sleeping with him, he's been acting different - as if I matter. As if I'm more than just a convenient hole for him to fuck while he's on vacation."
Storm’s words after their scene had been sweet, but he’d taken them at face value. Pillow talk after fantastic sex. Once they were outta bed, he’d fully expected it to go back to how it had been before they slept together. But the fact that Storm was following it up with tangible actions…fuck!
“Oh my god. He’s actually doing it.” He groaned as the reality of the shit storm he could find himself in too easily. That was true crux of the matter. Raine was in danger of falling for a man that wasn't sure if he going to stick around to see where their relationship might go. The very idea of falling for Storm scared the hell out of Raine.
But this shit's just temporary,he reminded himself. Master will recover. When that happens, he'll return to the club and…Sir will more than likely leave - to return to his prior life – one that doesn’t include me.
His heart started to race in his chest as hurt and fear mixed inside of him. He wanted to matter to Storm, wanted to continue basking in the attention Daddy gave him – even though he knew it was foolish. He began to pant. This was why he stayed inside the club. Why he did platonic scenes. He was a fucking idiot who couldn't separate sex and emotions. He’d been a fool to agree to Daddy’s terms. Storm would be fine with taking all he offered - but at what cost to Raine? How much could he give to the other man before there was nothing left of himself?
Spots appeared before his eyes as he struggled to breath. Rolling up into a sitting position on the edge of his bed, he attempted to get a handle on the panic threatening to consume him.
"Shit." He raked his fingers through the longer strands of hair, before tugging hard on them. The resulting sting didn't help much. It didn't lessen the pressure building up in his chest. "Get it together. You can do this. You're not for sure if you're in love with him." He told himself, as he started to rock himself side to side on the bed.
Yeah right. Keep telling yourself that. He's gonna leave you a broken mess when he returns to his real life. You're nothing more than a rent boy. He’ll realize that eventually – that you’re someone only good enough to play with on the off-season. You will never have a real place in his life.
He squeezed his eyes shut, wanting the naysayer in his head to shut up. "It's not like that, damnit! He said he wants to see where this leads.”
To nowhere. You aren’t worthy of a man like Storm Parkers.
But even as he told himself that Storm would never build him up in such a manner, the dark voice of self-doubt continued to hammer at him until the panic, he'd been fighting to control, broke free. It crashed over him like a tidal wave. This time it was worse than the fallout of dealing with Master's heart attack. God, he needed something to take his mind off this. He needed a good round of impact play. He needed to feel the kiss of fire from Daddy's flogger or crop.
